I was introduced to the manosphere 12 months ago. It was an incredibly enlightening discovery, fundamentally shifting my viewpoints and taking the blinders off in a number of key areas. In tribute to the manosphere, here are the 8 biggest ways it has affected my views:
1. The Supreme Importance Of Being Alpha
Prior to the manosphere, I had extensive success in attracting and ‘picking up’ women. However, after just experiencing a bad breakup (where for the first time in my life a girlfriend dumped me), I realized I didn’t have enough understanding or experience of maintaining attraction in the longer term. Heartiste’s 16 Commandments was the first manosphere post I was introduced to. It significantly improved my confidence to be alpha and the way I interact with women. This isn’t about being ‘someone I’m not’, as some whiny so-called ‘nice guys’ attest. It’s simply allowing the more dominant side of my personality to show. We are multi-faceted people, and I was prepared to use that side more, whereas a lot of guys suppress it, thinking it must be a bad thing. Girls have been more attracted to me with less effort on my part as a result of not suppressing this.
The next most important post I read was Heartiste’s explanation of What Women Want. I still consider these the two most important posts in the manosphere, and the two which have shaped my view on the importance of being alpha the most. I also realized how important this continues to be in marriage thanks to the likes of Dalrock’s Untethered. Inside A Woman’s Mind provides the best female perspective on this that I’ve read.
2. Age And Sexual Market Value
Prior to encountering the manosphere, I simply didn’t have an understanding of the true relationship between age and sexual market value for both men and women. Rollo Tomassi’s Sexual Market Value post opened my eyes to how this actually works. The desperation of older single women started to make sense, thanks to the likes of Dr Meg Jay explaining fertility and Lori Gottleib giving her life story. The first hand experience of the Audacious Amateur Blogger and Athol Kay’s post on relative sex rank also opened my eyes. The biggest problem with this is that I’m noticing the effects of women ageing far more. It has also meant that I’ve decided I would never start a serious relationship with a girl older than 23-24, as per Victor Pride’s recommendation.
3. Game Evolving To The Next Level
After having studied the likes of David DeAngelo and later training with top PUAs around the world, I found that the ways guys were interacting with girls was again scaling dizzying heights. Krauser’s escapades, Roosh’s stories and Steve’s videos indicate how this has gone to a new level.
4. Understanding The Dynamics Of A Breakup
I was a wreck after my relationship dissolved. Rollo Tomassi’s post on committing suicide over a woman provided incredible levels of insight into exactly how badly breakups can affect men. This breaks open a taboo topic that I’ve never read anywhere else. I think the fact that the manosphere has done this is inspiring. While not directly in the manosphere, I was also inspired to read great books about the neurological processes of relationships, which helped further my understanding.
5. Exactly Why I Was So Put Off By Girls Sleeping Around
Since I was a teenager, I had always been extremely put-off by girlfriends who admitted to me the extent of their sexual escapades. The University of Man’s post on A Man With Options helped explain exactly why the number of men a woman has been with impacts on a relationship. Heartiste’s analysis of why girls who sleep around make bad wives provided data and statistical analysis of why this is so important in terms of marriage. A range of insights from manosphere commentators also elucidated the concept further, although they are sometimes too harsh. I’m not saying men or women are any less as people by how many sexual partners they’ve chosen to sleep with. But both sides have to realize that it does impact their future relationships.
6. The Devastating Effects of Pornography
I had been strongly opposed to porn for a number of years. However, rather than just seeing it as morally wrong and sapping the male sex drive, I began to understand how detrimental it is in other ways. The brilliant website Your Brain On Porn provided a plethora of insights in regards to this. Widespread stories of erectile dysfunction, brought to my attention by the now defunct Gmac and Bold and Determined should also be enough to scare the hell out of any man. The Brain That Changes Itself was also a genius book that provided superb levels of insight into how the brain rewires to try and handle porn.
7. Why Marriage Is So Important And Why Substitutes Don’t Work
This goes against some manosphere rationalizing. However, all evidence shows that marriage is the single best way to raise children. Dalrock also highlights the plethora of benefits gained from marriage. In this period of time I learned about the detrimental Cohabitation Effect and Dalrock provided huge insights into why mini relationships do not stack up to marriage.
8. Understanding How Women Think
I more fully understood why women act the way they do. Rollo explained the psychology behind why women shit test, which has been well supported by Glenn P. Heartiste, explained what the automatic reaction should be. I came to understand why flaking on girls is so incredibly effective in making girls chase you, and why it should be done more often. Danny provided great insights and M3 also cleverly analysed why men being nice is a crime for women.
In summary, it’s been a hell of a year in understanding men, women and their dynamics better. Keep growing and evolving men!
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