When a t-shirt comes out of the factory (puberty), it’s crisp and bright. People compliment you on your new shirt (18-24 years old).

After you wear the t-shirt a couple of times, the fabric loses elasticity. You no longer get excited when wearing it because people have already seen you in it. Your eye starts to wander on new t-shirts (25-29 years old).

After a couple dozen wearings, yellow pit stains develop in the underarm area, especially if you’re of Middle Eastern descent. You stop wearing it in public, and only put it on when you’re doing work around the house (30-34 years old).


Eventually, holes develop in the fabric. It has been used too many times. Now it is only good to clean the toilet bowl before finally being placed in the trash. (35 and up).

The lesson in this? Live next to the t-shirt factory.

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