The following article was sponsored by LA Pumps

The penis pump market is a massive industry that reportedly cost Medicare $172,000,000 between 2006 and 2011. According to a Government watchdog report into Medicare expenditure, 474,000 American men have so far claimed costs for their medical penis pump systems. But are these guys just wasting tax payers’ money? After all, it’s the Doctors and Surgeon themselves that are prescribing vacuum pumps for men…

Leftists and women will argue that this is nonsense spending. What they won’t mention is that Medicare spends an exorbitant amount on relatively cosmetic procedures such as the labiaplasty and rhinoplasty. If we delve further past the current onslaught of anti-male literature, we will find, for example, that the Australian public health funding scheme, also known as Medicare, spends $40,000 to $70,000 per procedure on labiaplasties. A labiaplasty is generally a cosmetic procedure where women see their family doctor and raise the issue that the size of their vagina lips are unfortunately not the same as the ones in hardcore pornography, or after years of brutal usage, have deteriorated into a state where they believe it’s time to get a designer vagina… paid for by ours truly.

I don't know where to start...

I don’t know where to start…

In forums across the web, women who’ve passed their uneternal youth share sentiments such as “I had [a labiaplasty] done a while after my second daughter was born,”. Another similar confession in the femisphere by a mother of 3 who seems to be unable to properly manage her hygiene says: “I had it done due to medical reasons – I was constantly getting sore/red/infected!”

Until we add Kratom to the public health system, it’s up to the common man to vet out procedures that are being claimed for health reasons, when in fact they are for cosmetic purposes only.

A 2009 British report featured in the Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology determined that 57% of the main reasons of having the expensive tax funded labia surgery was due to physical discomfort, 21% due to pain during intercourse and 15% as a result of their labia being uncomfortable with their choice of underwear or clothing.

Since over 50% of women are dissatisfied with the appearance of their labia, we should be very wary of a major increase in the amount of women falsifying reasons to have a procedure to mutilate their vaginas that will be fully paid for. If any such increase if observed, we should immediately add all forms of penile enlargement surgery to all national health schemes across the Western world – it’s only fair. Furthermore, although male hair loss is a sign of coming of age, if more men are at all concerned about the growth or loss of their hair, we should also immediately add surgical hair restoration procedures to publicly funded health. Heck, let’s socialize all forms of cosmetic surgery and live in a plastic world.

But I digress; we should be asking a more important question now: if Doctors and Surgeons really are prescribing high quality vacuum pumps to half a million men in the USA alone to assist with erections and growth, then they must work right?

Permanent Growth, Guaranteed

Fortunately, penis pumps do in fact work. They work because bloods engorges into the penis as a result of vacuum pressure and it genuinely makes your penis firmer, longer and crucially – wider. Most readers who would engage in weight training know how important the “pump” is after a set. It’s the increased blood flow, muscle & capillary breakdown and subsequent repair of the muscle that grows the penis over time. Since the penis is a muscle (corpus cavernosum & corpus spongiosum) it has been medically proven that using a high quality penis pump can massively increase blood flow to the area and, over time, grow the penis is length and width permanently. The scientific word for this phenomenon is angiogenesis which means “new blood vessel growth”. The only reason there would be new blood vessels growing in the penis is if there was a need to accommodate a massive increase in blood flow, and in turn, increase the size of the muscles within.


Grow it like your biceps.

The benefits of a larger penis are innumerable:
– Increased sexual performance
– Increased confidence
– Increased blood flow
– Increased sensitivity
– Increased stamina
– Non-invasive medical treatment
– Once-off cost (Viagra is expensive!)

Some men who suffer diabetes and have blood flow issues find that using a penis pump allows them to gain a massive erection that they otherwise would not be able to achieve. After the penis reaches maximum size, a good way to keep that erection and blood flow in the member is to then place a rubber or silicone cock ring over the penis which acts as a torniquet and can keep you erect for an hour or more.

The best way to think of this is as an enhanced erection. Any erection is caused by blood flowing into the penis and using a pump simply ensures you’re getting as much in there as physiologically possible. Your erections actually vary each time you get one – and sometimes your penis will be slightly larger or slightly smaller depending on how aroused you are, how beautiful the girls is, your circulation and various other factors. Using a penis pump is just a matter of stacking the deck in your favor and getting the very best from your biology.

In fact, due to the benefits of penis pump technology, we have also developed clitoris pumps and pussy pumps too. A clit pump will increase the size of the clit and, in turn, raise sensitivity. Any man who knows the ins and outs of a female’s body knows how important attacking the clitoris is to get her off too.

When to Use an LA Pump Penis Pump

For guaranteed money-back permanent penis growth, the best course of action is a 15 minute pumping session per day where the organ is fully engorged with blood. As a penis pumper myself, using a pump for even 30 minutes a day has allowed me to achieve an overall 1.5 inch growth in length and 0.5 inch growth in girth.

The second best use case scenario for a penis pump is going to be just before sex, probably with a girl you’re already comfortable with. Being a lifehacker, I find this is the best way you can ensure you both get the best possible experience any time. Sensation is improved for you and your ability to hit certain parts inside of her are the main benefits in this case scenario. When a woman orgasms, her brain is loaded with a chemical called Oxytocin. This chemical is what makes a woman’s knees weak and makes her feel satisfied and loved. If you could make a girl feel more satisfied and loved simply by improving your sex life, why wouldn’t you? LA Pump are the brand of choice when it comes to pumps and a high quality vacuum pump setup can literally give you the best erections of your life.

Two penis pump cylinders, a pump, and a pair of nipple pumps too.

Two penis pump cylinders, a pump, and a pair of nipple pumps too.

Diamond Cut, Flame Polished Cylinders

If you’ve never used a penis pump before, then we must advise ask that you take it easy when using one for the first time. While it is very exciting to see a 20% increase in size immediately after using the pump, we always remind users that the muscles (corpus cavernosum & corpus spongiosum) need time to adapt to the increased blood flow and allow for angiogenesis to occur.

The results of a $10-50 penis pump are lacklustre. LA Pumps are diamond cut, flame polished cylinders that are made in the USA and a full system will set you back around $150-300. However, this is a one-off cost and more of an investment because we find that customers usually burn through 2-3 low-quality/high-turnover pumps before they find us. All customers become life long customers and they usually come back every 2-3 months to buy the next size up pump as they grow in size. We also guarantee permanent growth and if a Doctor recommends a pump to you, you can claim costs back through your private health fund. Prices on the site are in US Dollars, but you can adjust the price when you click through to each pump. Shipping is free worldwide with DHL and lastly, here is a $50 off coupon when you buy a cylinder and pump together: ROKFIFTY.

Click here to see the world famous LA Pump Penis Pump System. If you penis doesn’t grow, we will give you your money back.

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