Last week, the mainstream conservative press went apoplectic with rage at the epithet “cuckservative,” a popular insult in alternative right and neoreactionary circles. For the uninitiated, cuckservatives are right-wing politicians and pundits who make a big show of defending traditional values, yet when push comes to shove, they roll over for the left on every issue out of fear of being called “racist,” “sexist” or “homophobic.”

Conservatives like Red State’s Erick Erickson who throw tantrums over the term “cuckservative” are doing so because the term describes them perfectly. If you’re wondering whether you might be a cuckservative, Return of Kings has put together this handy guide to show you. Read on and discover if you’re the kind of conservative who enjoys watching your nation get brutally gang-raped by cultural Marxists…

1. You care more about Israel’s borders than America’s


The most basic definition of “conservative” entails protecting the things that separate a nation from its neighbors, including that nation’s borders. Yet for the past decade, conservatives in Congress and the media have acceded to the left’s demands for “comprehensive immigration reform,” a PC euphemism for rewarding millions of illegal aliens from Mexico and other countries for breaking our laws. Major Republican leaders such as Senators John McCain (R-AZ) and Jeff Flake (R-AZ), and even Tea Party darling Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) have echoed the left’s call for amnesty, in direct defiance of their constituents.

At the same time, cuckservatives obsess over protecting Israel from supposed “threats” that never materialize. Every major Republican of consequence always makes a point of reaffirming their support for Israel, to the point of urging us to go to war against Iran because of the infinitesimally tiny chance they might develop nuclear weapons. This is despite the fact that not only has Israel never sent a single soldier to die in an American war, more American servicemen have been killed by Israel (in the USS Liberty incident) than by Russia, a nation that cuckservatives are dead set on antagonizing.

The irony is that despite cuckservatives’ claims that we can’t turn back the tide of illegal aliens from Latin America, the very nation that they fetishize has all but eliminated its illegal immigration problem. Israel fought back against illegal immigration by constructing a border wall (something cuckservatives claim that America can’t do) and by swiftly deporting aliens in their midst. The Israeli government also managed to stave off demographic collapse by incentivizing Jews to have children; worth remembering whenever a cuckservative moans about how whites will be a minority in America by 2050.

2. You think that opposing free trade is Nazism


While they claim that they support the American economy, cuckservatives have gleefully supported the wholesale relocation of manufacturing to Mexico and China through free trade agreements such as NAFTA. Manufacturing jobs were what made the prosperity of the 50’s and 60’s possible, because they allowed the average man to earn a decent wage and provide for his family. Nowadays, Americans are either relegated to minimum wage service jobs or forced to go into debt to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars to go to college, just for a shot at entering the middle class.

Yet despite the fact that free trade enriches the super-rich at the expense of everyone else, cuckservatives attack anyone who questions it as a Nazi. No, I’m not joking. Cuckservative wunderkind Kevin Williamson of National Review recently attacked Democratic presidential candidate and soi-disant democratic socialist Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) as a “national socialist,” solely because Sanders is opposed to free trade agreements that impoverish the average worker.

3. You believe that the Democrats are the “real” racists


Cuckservatives have spent the past twenty years trying to appeal to blacks out of fear of the left calling them “racist,” going so far as to claim that the left are the “real” racists. Indeed, cuckservatives have gone so far in trying to appear anti-racist that we now have libertarian hero Rand Paul cuddling up to race hustler Al Sharpton and incompetent boobs such as Tim Scott and Michael Steele being promoted to positions of power in the GOP based on their skin color.

Despite cuckservatives’ genuflecting, blacks have continuously voted Democratic in numbers of 90 percent and up going all the way back to the 1960’s.

4. You think the reason Detroit and other major U.S. cities are falling apart is because of unions


Cuckservatives are so desperate to avoid being called “racist” that they completely deny the role of race in American society. For example, National Review’s Kevin Williamson absurdly blames the dysfunction of Detroit on unions run amok and not the fact that the city is more than 80 percent black. While socialist policies will eventually ruin a nation, white liberal areas such as Vermont and Oregon have considerably higher standards of living than black areas with the same politics.

5. You believe that Hispanics are “natural Republicans”


Pro-illegal alien cuckservatives such as Jeb Bush and Karl Rove have tried to justify selling out their nation by claiming that Hispanic immigrants’ work ethic and Catholic values make them potential GOP supporters. However, as economist Tino Sanandaji showed, the average Latino has left-wing views on just about every issue of importance, from the size of government to gay marriage to taxes.


The highest percentage of the Hispanic vote won by any GOP presidential candidate in the past thirty years was 40 percent by George W. Bush in 2004, and he only won that much by essentially bribing Latinos with low-interest mortgages, resulting in 2007-2008’s housing crisis.

Not only that, the countries that these “natural Republicans” hail from are overwhelmingly socialist, if not outright communist. Mexico, where the bulk of Hispanics hail from, is dominated by the far-left Institutional Revolutionary Party (PRI), which has been in power for all but 12 years since 1929. Every other nation in Latin America, from Argentina to Brazil to Colombia, is run by socialists, and when Latinos migrate to the U.S., they take their ideology with them.

6. You support corporations, despite their advocacy for leftist causes


Cuckservatives are vociferously opposed to any government action that limits the power of corporations, from higher taxes to environmental regulations to minimum wage increases. These corporations have rewarded cuckservatives by eagerly shoving left-wing degeneracy down Americans’ throats. Not only does Hollywood and other popular media glorify homosexuality, transsexuality and other perversions, most corporations enforce leftist orthodoxy, contrary to the left’s claim that big business is pro-Republican.

For example, following the Supreme Court’s decision legalizing gay marriage, a whole host of corporations, from Google to Facebook, suddenly put up rainbow flag logos in solidarity with the LGBT movement. Here in Chicago, Allstate currently has posters plastered all over the L featuring two men holding hands. Just a few days ago, the WWE acceded to left-wing hysteria about “racism” by firing Hulk Hogan solely because he used a racial slur in a private conversation nearly a decade ago.

Even supposedly right-wing corporate figures are further to the left than the average American. For instance, the Koch brothers, favorite boogeymen of the left, are in favor of open borders. Yet despite being turkey-slapped repeatedly by their corporate masters, cuckservatives are all too happy to spread their cheeks for these multinational purveyors of leftist degeneracy.

7. You think military veterans automatically deserve respect


Cuckservatives assuage their guilt about sending young men to die in pointless overseas wars by fellating every veteran as a “war hero,” no matter how they actually spent their service. For example, John McCain, the king of cuckservatives, is constantly lauded as a “hero” for his time in Vietnam, despite the fact that he spent most of it in a jail cell after being captured by the North Vietnamese. Donald Trump was lambasted by both left and right for pointing out that not only didn’t McCain engage in anything that could remotely be called “heroic,” as a senator, he has done nothing to aid veterans.

John McCain is a “war hero” in the same way that pink slime is a nutritious meal. Not only did McCain confess to breaking under torture and selling out his country, there’s considerable evidence that he may have actively collaborated with the communist Vietnamese (ex: his fellow POWs nicknamed him “Songbird”). McCain’s father was a highly decorated admiral and could have easily used his influence to suppress knowledge of his son’s traitorous activity.

8. You think the GOP needs to moderate in order to win elections


Cuckservatives believe that the real reason why Obama won the elections in 2008 and 2012 is because the Republicans have gone too far to the right, and that in order to appeal to voters, the GOP needs to move towards the center. This ignores the fact that the Republican presidential candidates in ’08 and ’12, John McCain and Mitt Romney, respectively, failed to garner support precisely because they were too mushy and left-wing.

Not only that, the GOP managed to capture the House in 2010 and the Senate in 2014 largely by running Tea Party candidates such as Joni Ernst, Marco Rubio and Rand Paul who were unashamed about being conservative and willing to take the fight to the left. Donald Trump is leading in Republican presidential polls because he’s the only candidate with a pair of balls, who doesn’t back down in the face of leftist attacks.

9. You spend more time attacking fellow conservatives than the left

Donald Trump

One of the most defining traits of cuckservatives is how they spend most of their ammunition firing at their supposed comrades for being too “extreme.” For example, Donald Trump has been lambasted by Jeb Bush, Lindsey Graham, and virtually every other GOP presidential candidate for his outspoken advocacy for conservative policies. In contrast, liberals have a “no enemies to the left” policy, explaining why domestic terrorists such as Bill Ayers and race hustlers such as Al Sharpton are allowed to operate without a single condemnation from their fellow ideologues.

10. You’re always apologizing to your enemies


Being a cuckservative means always having to say you’re sorry. Whenever “offensive” comments by cuckservatives are uncovered by the left, the cuckservative always drops to his knees and begs for forgiveness. For example, raging thundercuck Jack Hunter, a political consultant, resigned from Rand Paul’s staff after left-wing organizations publicized “racist” comments he had made as a radio commentator in the past. Additionally, Hunter waved the white flag and repudiated his views.

Unfortunately for cuckservatives, their reign of squeezing their clammy mitts around conservatism’s balls is coming to an end. The sudden popularity of the “cuckservative” epithet shows that grassroots right-wingers are tired of the movement’s spinelessness and groveling to the left. With Donald Trump on the rise and cuckservatives on the run, reversing America’s decline has never looked more possible.

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