In our individual quests to become better men and remain unwilling to conform to the standards of a warped society, fear is a companion that is always by our side. It hugs us in the morning and kisses us goodnight before we fall asleep.
Most of the time, it wears the disguise of rationality. It does this because it knows that if we were to identify it, we would kill it like a rabid dog. No man should fall into the trap of dining with the enemy, so here are five disguises of fear that you need to crush today.
1. Fear through Indecision
Are you having trouble deciding on the next course of action to take, on what to where to that work event, or even whether or not to talk to that beautiful woman down the hall?
Many of you will just pass it off as a normal case of jitters or nervousness, but these things are hallmarks of fear. An alpha male makes a decision and acts, damn the consequences. Anything that stems from his actions will be taken care of in the same way the original action was carried out: decisively.
Don’t allow yourself to be lulled into a false sense of security that when the time comes to act you will be able to. If you want to know how a man will act in stressful situations, take stock of him in times of relaxation. Stand up and decide to be great, and inspire those behind you to do the same.
2. Fear through responsibility
The typical man that indulges in this form of fear is not difficult to spot. He usually sounds something like this.
“I have too much on my plate to start something else right now.”
“I have to take care of a family, I can’t start a new business.”
“I still have so many bills to pay right now, I’m not sure that would be a good option for me.”
I understand that life is not easy and it does not always turn out the way you wanted it to. That being said, sometimes you have to say fuck the fear disguised as responsibility and sink or swim with your obsession. When I first struck out on my own and tried to start my first company, I had a two-year-old son to take care of. I had a decent savings from my job and I just dove right in.
I have to admit that in the beginning stages, about the first eight months, I regretted my decision about 45% of the time. After those eight months and a lot of sacrifice things started to look up. In hindsight, I am happy that I abandoned my “responsibilities” and attempted to achieve greatness.
When you are old and decrepit, and your grandchild asks you why you never followed your dream, will you tell them that it was because of responsibility?
3. Fear through being a victim
Victimhood may be the easiest form of fear to indulge in because nobody will blame you for the way you are acting. You tried and failed but refused to try again. People will look at you and say that you gave it your best shot, but deep down inside, you know better.
I pity no man that allows himself to accept being a victim. Through millennia of evolution we have been crafted to achieve the sublime. What separates you as a victim from the man who has been able to achieve some success in his life? He failed and stood up again.
4. Fear through worry
As a child, my grandfather used to tell me that when you are faced with something that you feel may be able to conquer you, there are two choices: pray or worry. I like this nugget of wisdom because it highlights the fact that worry will only paralyze you.
Worry is a very powerful emotion and it is simply exhausting, it is intimately connected to fear. Worrying about something, besides killing you slowly, serves absolutely no purpose. Instead of using all of that time and energy to worry, it would be infinitely more productive to search for a solution to the problem. If the situation is truly out of your control, then you will gain nothing by worrying about it.
5. Fear through perfectionism
“I’m waiting for all my stars to align right”
“I’m waiting for the timing to be right.”
“If I could just get a little bit more money then I’ll start.”
“If I could just find the right team members I’ll give it a go.”
Do any of these sound familiar? Waiting for just the right moment, in just the right place, with just the right people is a stupid notion. Your stars will never align perfectly. I consider fear through perfectionism a womanly trait because it is so thinly veiled.
As a man, you should be well aware that everything won’t go your way before you get the ball rolling. You should know that there are some things you need to do all wrong before you get it right. Finally, as a man you should know that perfection is an impossible ideal and you should be aiming for excellence instead.
Fear can take thousands of forms and present itself in varying degrees. Your only job as a man is to be ever vigilant. Your job is to make sure it does not intertwine itself into your daily life. Your job is to cut it away, root and stem, wherever you find it growing.
If you are able to do that and stay true to those ideals, you will attempt fearlessly and accomplish masterfully.
“To conquer fear is this beginning of wisdom” – Bertrand Russell