A healthy, well-kept, financially stable and mild-mannered guy wants to find a female companion to care for, spend time and have regular sex with. She doesn’t have to be anything special, as long as she is not horribly disfigured, it will do.

This is the mating call of a generic Nice Guy. It echoes sadly through all his communication attempts with women he likes: his countless Facebook messages that nobody will respond to, his emails that won’t be read, and the likes he dispenses in spades that won’t be appreciated.

risk notification

Aaaand it’s my aunt wishing me happy birthday and a Candy Crush notification

Despite his apparent qualities, females not only ignore the Nice Guy, but absolutely despise him. They will go to any lengths to avoid giving the Nice Guy any attention whatsoever and actually consider him a completely non-sexual object, like a lamp or a nightstand. On the other hand, a tatted up gangster will be swimming in pussy without investing any effort, and will often have several women fighting over him.


$20 says the top one wins

To understand why this happens, we have to dissect the situation and take a dispassionate look at it. What the Nice Guy offers is his undying loyalty and endless love. In one word—security. And that’s the exact opposite of what women want and what turns them on sexually.

What women actually want out of romantic relationships is risk. Trying to be more dangerous when dealing with women and seeing it work is just like flicking a light switch on and finally being able to see the entire room, instead of stumbling around it in dark.

light switch on

Sexy time [ON]

A recent article published in New Scientist quotes Emily Nagoski, a Massachusetts sexologist, who states that 80% (probably higher) women feel no spontaneous sexual desire at all, compared to around 20% of men (probably lower) in the same situation. This spontaneous sexual desire is defined as an urge that arises on its own and demands to be satisfied, like hunger.

Women can definitely have sexual desire, it just doesn’t appear on its own, but always as a consequence of some outside factor. The implication of this is staggering—women literally cannot initiate anything sexual and unless the man does something. This is not just sex, but any kind of intimacy is completely out of the question.

blue moon

Women get horny too – once in a blue moon

A typical woman is driven by her desire for excitement and spontaneity, which leads her from one asshole to another. Just like a moth is attracted to the candle flame and circles it until finally flying straight into it and burning, so will a woman enter a badly thought out relationship that leaves her broken and defective. And then another and another. She won’t be able to explain to herself why she is doing it and she will know it’s bad, but she will do it nonetheless.


Of course, constantly taking risks is a strategy that gives diminishing returns and takes a tremendous toll on her body and psyche. Since that’s the only strategy a woman has, it can only provide a limited amount of butterflies and feels before her beauty finally deteriorates to the point where nobody desires her anymore. At that moment, she will suddenly remember all those men that she used to reject just a while ago— a.k.a. Nice Guys.

butterflies gone wild

Butterflies Gone Wild – Spring Edition

Nice Guys are actually cultivated by society on purpose. The reasoning behind this is that a woman must never suffer the consequences of her actions. Hence, there will always be a fresh batch of Nice Guys to cushion her fall and provide her with free meals, free housing, and a sperm donation. There is nothing wrong with Nice Guys as long as you are not one of them.

Getting out of the Nice Guy mindset can be quite a painful process, but there are ways to do it. If you’ve recognized yourself as not taking enough sexual risks, one simple method is to outright kiss every girl that you like. Without any introduction or explanation, just do it. Even if she slaps you or makes a scene, you will at least get her to acknowledge your advances and express her opinion of you publicly.


The end result will involve blowing in some fashion

As you use this method, you will lose the fear of rejection that was holding you back and just start doing with females whatever you desire. This kind of recklessness is exactly what attracts women and drives them insane. Having a woman that wants to submit herself completely to you is an ego booster like no other.


Actually, I could think of a couple exceptions

For men, the pinnacle of sexual development is having sexual security, which means the capability to get sex on demand. It’s not just going out and banging everything with a warm hole between her legs, but being able to target females you particularly like and being able to consistently seduce them with ease and without spending any money.

As with everything else, the secret lies in balance. Having a proper mix of sexual risk and security is the best possible long term strategy and results in a varied and stable sexual life well into the old age. What more could you ask for?

Read More: The Growing Epidemic Of Sexual Dysfunction Among Women

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