For ROK readers who consider themselves masculine, strong, and brave, it’s time to put your money where your mouth is by joining the Kings Battalion, a new military force that will be based in Eastern Ukraine to engage in warfare against degenerate Western proxy forces. Today is day one for recruiting 300 English-speaking men to be soldiers on the side of Russia, tradition, and honor.

America is ruining the world

Pro-Russian separitists

In November 2013, the President of Ukraine was ousted from power in a coup that was successful thanks to American money. That coup installed an oligarch puppet subservient to American and German interests that aim not only to enrich their institutions with high-interest loans through the IMF and World Bank, but also to corrupt thin and feminine Ukrainian women with a Western lifestyle that converts them into fat feminist zombies instead of loyal wives and mothers.

I have access to secret intelligence reports on the ground in pro-American Western Ukraine that reveal an explosion in women getting tattoos, body piercings, and Skrillex haircuts. Almost overnight, thanks to a lack of traditional cultural restraints, women are racing to appeal to their most impulsive and base urgings. In addition, over thirty new Pizza Huts and McDonalds have since opened in Western controlled areas while Monsanto and Conagra engage in shameless dumping of their GMO foodstuffs, fattening the female population at a rate not seen in human history since the founding of Chipotle in America. It is predicted that Ukrainian women will be as fat as American women in only four years time.

I left the degenerate West in 2007 to pursue a more traditional lifestyle with women who are not addicted to Facebook and bad boys. My search has ultimately not yielded me with happiness because the Western culture I left is supplanting the traditional cultures faster than the speed of commercial flight. Soon there will be nowhere else for us to run, which is why we must put a stop to Western encroachment through the creation of the Kings Battalion. Either we risk our lives today to create a better world for ourselves, or get ready for weekly Slutwalks and gay pride events to be held in Kiev, Novosibirsk, and Ulan Bator.


The Kings Battalion


I am now accepting applications for the Kings Battalion. It will be a cohesive and elite unit of 300 Western men who are ready to destroy agents of the West in order to stop the frightening advance of Instagram port-a-potty whores and selfie sticks. While it is free to join, you must bring at least $2,500 US in small bills to purchase weapons, gear, and a supply of food to last a one-year tour of duty.

Your initial training will be composed of throwing pineapple grenades, firing automatic weapons, and washing yourself with buckets of ice cold water. Afterwards, you’ll be assigned to defensive positions so that you may learn fighting techniques from English-speaking military instructors in the Donetsk People’s Republic. If you are a soft blob of useless mass today, rest assured that you will be turned into a slab of rock in short time.

After your one-year service, you will be eligible to receive a small plot of land near Donetsk. You will also be assigned an attractive Ukrainian woman who needs a strong man to provide for her in exchange for bearing your heirs and taking care of the home. You may be called back into service to defend your family from further Western aggression in the form of a NGO funded by George Soros.

Sign up to fight today


For the longest time, I’ve sensed a hopelessness among Western men as cultural locusts destroy all that is masculine, good, and true. It’s time for us to put up or shut up. I have made my choice, and will be putting my life on the line by leading the Kings Battalion instead of continuing to complain on the internet through blog articles, Youtube videos, and 140-character fatalistic musings on Twitter. I hope you choose to do the same and join me on the front lines. If you’re interested, email [email protected] See you in the Donbass.

Read Next: Russian Folktales Can Teach You How To Be A Man


Send this to a friend