First of all, this article is not condoning male thirst, nor is it meant to put the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders on a pedestal. Frankly, I don’t even like American “Football” or the NFL in general. My inner libertarian despises the blue pill military worshiping culture surrounding it, and there are plenty of constructive things I could be doing with my time beyond watching multi-millionaire human rhinoceros barge into each other for more than three hours on a precious weekend.

More than anything else, this article is giving praise to the organization of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders.

The powers behind the iconic cheerleading squad, which represents “America’s team”, have continued to maintain their integrity and devotion to promoting a high standard of traditional femininity and beauty since 1960; a standard which has arguably been the highest, and most critically acclaimed, of all cheerleading organizations in the world.

In equal admiration, they have done this while successfully staving off the constant onslaught of 2nd wave feminism, 3rd wave feminism, and moral degeneracy that has been going on in the world around them since the 1970’s. A state of degeneracy which has otherwise been put into overdrive in the second decade of the 21st century.

This article will identify four key areas as to why the DCC (Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders) deserves an obligatory cocktail salute and a silent nod of respect. Let’s get started.

dallas cowboys cheerleaders dance

1. No Fat Chicks

“Fat Acceptance” is not in the vocabulary of professional cheerleading, and the DCC organization is certainly no exception. Having a very aesthetically appealing body weight is a vital component of any woman hoping to make the cut as one of these cheerleaders. Furthermore, maintaining that weight is equally important for staying on the squad during their tenure.

For the pen-pushers behind the scenes, the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders are, first and foremost, a business. Therefore, it is absolutely imperative that the cheerleaders hang very close to the sweet spot on the body mass index (BMI) in order for them to have a successful business model.

Financially lucrative appearance fees would nosedive, and sales of DCC calendars and other photo spreads would tumble, if they suddenly developed a reputation for letting a few chubby chicks slip through the ranks.

Furthermore, thirsty beta males pay good money at a Dallas game to watch slender and fit females gyrating on the sidelines as an amusing sideshow. If they wanted to cast their eyes on land whales, they can just head on over to the local Walmart. Or better yet, it’s Texas after all. Land whales are everywhere.

no fat chicks

2. High Standards Of Grooming And Appearance

The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders organization does not have the time, the tolerance, or even the desire to accommodate the vast array of degenerate 21st century “fashion” trends into their ranks.

We’re talking NO visible tattoos, NO (visible) piercings, and NO unnatural hair colors.

While there is no specific requirement against short hair, few wind up making it onto the squad in any given year. A woman who is damaged enough to want to cut her hair short probably wouldn’t pass the tattoo requirement anyway.

Sorry, but any and every tattooed, pierced, and purple-haired yoga instructor can fuck off back to the state capital where they belong. Austin likes to “keep it weird” after all. The DCC demands classy women, and classy women is what they get. Observe.

2014 dallas cowboys cheerleaders squad

Gym-fit bodies, tattoo-free skin, and long beautiful locks of natural hair dominate the landscape

3. They Demand (Some) Worthy Talents

Young women in the United States are growing up with absolutely no personal talents or skills. That is, unless you count speed-texting on a smartphone while being a “good driver” in their daddy’s sports utility vehicle as a distinct female talent.

Once upon a time, a mark of stature for a woman was to be at least one of:


1. An exceptional cook or home chef

2. A talented player of a classical instrument

3. Well-versed in French or Latin

4. An experienced ballroom dancer

Or at least something that took some extensive practice and repetition in order to achieve competency. Young women in the United States (and to be fair a lot of young men too) cannot do any of these things anymore. The “smartphone undertow” is clearly taking it’s toll on the younger millennials, as the following video demonstrates.

“Miss New York” Kira Kazantsev, a 23-year-old Manhattan native (as of September 2014), decided that a stupid frat party game involving the flipping of a plastic red cup was a solid first-rate choice for the “Miss America” talent competition last year. And guess what….. she still won!

“The reason why I chose to do that talent is I wanted every single little girl in America to be able to see that you can do that talent — you can do whatever talent you want on national television — even with a red cup — and still be Miss America and have the time of your life” – Kira Kazantsev

If that’s how Ms. Kazantsev feels, sometimes I wonder if we are well and truly done for as a nation…

Thankfully, the DCC demands some visually appealing talents that, when put on public display, don’t add up to being a national embarrassment.

Most professional cheerleaders have many years of experience in various dance styles, and their training probably did not include “twerking.” Jazz dance and improvisational skills are particularly desirable, and the results certainly trump cup-spinning any day.

dallas cheerleaders jump

4. They Are Not Social Justice Pawns

Last, but certainly not least, the DCC are not used as figureheads to promote bogus social justice warrior campaigns which have a distinct anti-male slant to them. There is no raising “awareness” of “rape culture”, encouraging women to “lean in” more because they are being “oppressed” by male colleagues, or whining about women earning only “77 cents on the dollar” for the same labor exerted by a man.

In fact, professional cheerleaders are paid garbage wages but they still sign up for the gig in droves. There is really a lot to say about that, especially when they are only competing for placement against other women.

On occasion, they do get involved in “awareness” campaigns for breast cancer and other problems of female biology, but at least those are legitimate issues (unlike “rape culture”). Still, their primary objective is to provide entertainment for the fans and the troops, and they mostly stay true to that.


Professional cheerleading is admittedly pretty stupid. Let’s be honest with ourselves. It adds nothing of true value to a sporting match, and it’s primarily a platform to sell bikini calendars and to provide mildly amusing girly entertainment at conventions and USO shows.

The fact that it’s primarily (but not exclusively) an American institution, along with the stereotype that cheerleaders are the picture-book definition of a female American “airhead”, naturally makes it a target for international parody.

However, the DCC are arguably the very best at what they do. Hence their tagline “The Often Imitated, Never Equalled, Internationally Acclaimed.

It’s true that there are imitations galore, perhaps most notably by their (much sluttier) counterparts in South America. The Boca Juniors Cheerleaders in Buenos Aires.

Boca Culture in Buenos Aires

However, we are here to (mostly) celebrate class, and not exclusively the ass. The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders have it, while the same sentiment cannot exactly be shared with some of their Latin counterparts.

Would we still feel the itch to migrate to South America or Eastern Europe if the feminine qualities of the DCC were promoted as an ideal for women in the United States? Rather than giving a platform to chubby, short-haired, tattoo-covered, little sister-banging feminists like Lena Dunham and company? Probably not (quite as badly).

The DCC organization, and their expected standards, are a breath of fresh air in our rapidly declining and degenerate society. So for the ladies who want to take part and embrace their femininity, don’t try to compete with men, don’t get stupid piercings and tattoos, maintain a trim figure, keep their hair long, and have some extracurricular activities which don’t involve their smartphone, we give a modest salute to you. Bravo.

cocktail salute

Read More: 5 Reasons Why Girls With Tattoos And Piercings Are Broken

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