You’re putting gas in your vehicle one sunny afternoon when a car pulls in to the pump next to yours and out steps a fit, long-legged brunette your eye balls can’t tear themselves away from. She has a pretty face, no visible tattoos or crazy body piercings, and could easily pass for an 8. She slides her card and begins pumping her gas. Being the stone cold assassin you are you immediately open her and strike up conversation.

She’s receptive to your game and engages in a short but pleasant conversation. She seems kind and feminine so you number close her—successfully. Over the next day or so you run solid text game, and arrange a meet up. The two of you have a great time and agree to meet again that weekend.

The next few weeks go particularly well for the two of you. She seems to genuinely enjoy your company, she’s giving you regular sex, her femininity and kindness seem to be the real deal, and best of all your slut-dar hasn’t picked up any blips yet. Sure, there are a few minor cracks here and there but nothing to be overly concerned about.

The more time you spend with her the less you’re wanting to spend with other chicks on your roster. After a while you decided she’s earned LTR status and give her the title. This isn’t a bad thing because spinning plates can become tiresome and much of the time more trouble than it’s worth. You understand that while the game never ends, it’s nice to be able to relax on some level and concentrate your efforts on one girl for a while.

You’ve done your homework and read 25 Reasons Your Girlfriend Is Overrated because you know there are quite a few red flags most men aren’t aware of. But you’re investing time and resources into this girl and you want to make damn sure all your I’s are dotted and T’s crossed so you’re digging into your red pill archives to make sure you leave no stone unturned.

After all, it’s been a while since you’ve been committed to one woman and there are some pretty stark differences between LTR and ONS game.

Well you’re in luck my friend, because I’ve got a dozen more “qualities” for you pull the emergency break on before you get your hopes up. This version’s going to be a little different in that I will break each one down in two different ways:

1. What it could mean: This will describe the outlier situation. Odds are this will not be the case but there are always exceptions (albeit very rare).

2. What it probably means: This will describe the norm as it pertains to the typical western female.

“Hang on, Donovan. Your last article made it very clear that these ‘so-called qualities are merely fool’s gold.’ All women are like that, remember?”

That’s a fair statement and trust me when I say you’re getting nothing less than 100% agreement here. But while we all understand the AWALT doctrine, this doesn’t mean some girls (and by some I mean a minuscule percentage) can’t possess a few authentic traits that increase their value as mates, however scarce they may be. Though they’re few and far between it’s very important to recognize, appreciate, and cultivate the honest to goodness qualities in your woman.

By the same token it would behoove you to stay on your p’s and q’s in order to ensure those qualities maintain status quo and to recognize and act accordingly if and when they start to erode.

So without further ado, here are 12 more so-called qualities about your girl you may need to rethink before bragging about them, or prematurely congratulating your buddy for snagging a “keeper.”

12. “She’s well-traveled”

What it could mean: She’s done some traveling and has been exposed to many cultures which gives her an appreciation for different perspectives, ways of life, and how lucky she is to have been born America. She has very interesting stories to tell which makes for great conversation.

What it probably means: She’s been to a bunch of spring break destinations and other party-like countries notorious for exploiting the overt sluttiness of American girls. You can bet your bottom dollar her notch count is exorbitant if she reminisces about trips overseas where she was no doubt fellating foreign phalluses most nights.

11. “She’s educated”

What it could mean: She didn’t attend a traditional four year college but has numerous certifications in early childhood development because she enjoys children and hopes to start a family soon. In the meantime she she makes her living by working in a daycare center. This hones her nurturing and child rearing skills which have the potential to make her a good mother.

What it probably means: She went to a typical four year college and got a useless degree which she likely earned by cheating or fucking (or both) her way to a passing grade. She did, however, pass Sex Ed 101 with flying colors, which was taught nightly at the Alpha Chi Alpha house (classes at the Beta Phi Omega house were cancelled due to continuous false rape claims).

10. “My girl’s got curves”

What it could mean: 

What it probably means:

9. “She’s spontaneous”

What it could mean: She follows your lead and is up for whatever you are at any time whether it be an impromptu weekend getaway, meeting you in the back room at your buddy’s house for a random quickie, or a night on the town at the drop of a hat.

What it probably means: She’s impulsive, has little control over her emotions, and rarely thinks things through. When she finds herself in situations such as whether or not to buy those new shoes or new phone she can’t afford, or whether or not to meet up with the hawtee she’s texting while you’re at work, she yields to temptation more often than not.

8. “We have sex ALL THE TIME”

What it could mean: She likes having sex with you and enjoys satisfying you.

What it probably means: She’s either laying the groundwork to control your behavior by withholding sex (similar to drug dealers who always give first time clients a freebie to get them hooked, then price gouge them later) or waiting for you to “screw up” (incessant, labyrinth-style, unpassable shit-tests). As soon as you lose frame or show the vulnerability she nags you to reveal, her legs will snap shut like a bear trap.


7. “She can cook”


What it could mean: She is capable of preparing proper, home cooked meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She rarely uses the microwave and is always trying to improve her cooking as the alerts on her phone are often “The Recipe of the Day.”

What it probably means: Microwavable meals, box dinners that are “quick and easy and prepared in minutes!”, and the nearest delivery restaurants are the extent of her culinary aptitude. On the flip side she just loves to surprise you with her gourmet hot dogs and oven baked fries.

6. “She has a sense of humor”

What it could mean: She’s self-aware and playfully makes fun of herself. She occasionally pokes fun at you in a flirtatious way as an excuse to make physical contact with you or to get your attention.

What it probably means: She’s a loud, brash, wannabe ball-buster who thinks she’s funny because women she sees on TV and movies are rewarded for the mannish comedic behavior. This is also a typical projection play. She wants a man who calls her on her bullshit and is unafraid to make fun of her so she assumes the role herself thinking this tact produces boners.

5. “She played hard to get”

What it could mean: She knows her value and understood that being too easy would misrepresent her. So she channeled her natural instincts and innocently played coy whilst simultaneously dropping hints that encouraged you to keep pursuing because a) she liked you and b) she, like all women, loves being pursued and subsequently taken.

What it probably means: Her responding to your texts every six hours wasn’t her playing hard to get—she was playing musical cocks. Her long response time and delayed commitment was a tell-tale sign your that game wasn’t tight enough to secure a seat when the music stopped.

She likely chose you because the guys she responded to every 30 seconds fucked and chucked her and you were the only one still looking for a chair.

4. “She never gets jealous”

What it could mean: She knows two things: 1) she’s a quality female and 2) she’s holding it down as your girl. She’s a kind, sexy, feminine, submissive, woman who understands and abides sex roles and most importantly, keeps your balls drained.

She’s acutely aware that she is a rarity and isn’t worried about some purple-haired slut with a lip ring and a tramp stamp taking you away from her. When you do flirt with other girls in front of her (remember fellas, the game never ends) she doesn’t get jealous—she gets naked.

What it probably means: You’re not running dread game or openly flirting with other girls in front of her so she doesn’t think you’re going anywhere. Smart money says she’s got backup cock on stand by ready to be deployed if you continue to fail to generate tingles only the drama of impending infidelity can provide.

3. “She spends money on me”

What it could mean: She doesn’t mind picking up the tab from time to time because she wants to do her part to help you, contribute to the relationship monetarily, and ease your financial burden a little. She does this to express her appreciation for you and to let you know she doesn’t view you as a meal ticket or an ATM.

What it probably means: You’ve been banging her brains out for two weeks whilst simultaneously running extreme asshole and dread game to perfection. You dominate her body, her mind, and her soul. She’s addicted to you and thinks she’s “in love.”

Girls who fall head over heels this quickly are severely damaged and will do anything to keep you around in order to get those hits of euphoric ups and downs you supply to her. You are her drug and she gladly compensates you handsomely, both sexually and financially, for your pharmaceutical-grade emotional roller coaster rides.

2. “We dated for three months before sex so she’s a good girl”

What it could mean: She is a good girl—a high quality female with a low notch count (two or less). She knows her value so she doesn’t give it up to just anybody. She gave up the goods when and only when she was damn sure you weren’t a beta in an alpha’s clothing (read: PUA).

What it probably means: She was fucking other dudes on the side showing that, once again, your game didn’t warrant her sexual submission (this is what you get for paying for dates without getting the goods first). The only reason she started ponying up the poon was because her FWB pipeline dried up and she needed validation.

1. “She tells me she loves me”

What it could mean: She is verbalizing genuine appreciation for a man who protects her, provides her great sex, takes care of himself, and doesn’t allow himself to be emotionally manipulated by her. She is so grateful for these attributes she can only describe it with that magical four letter word. You, of course, know better than to reciprocate often responding with “I know,” or “Join the club” which only solidifies her feelings.

What it probably means: She’s throwing out beta bait because she sensed your scarcity mentality and wanted to confirm her suspicions. Tossing out that chum is the shit test to end all shit tests and if you tell her you love her too you’re finished.

So there you have it. A few more hidden red flags for you to look out for when you make a girl your main chick. I’ll say it again: Do not get your hopes up if you think your girl has any of these faux attributes. Chances are, she falls under the probably category.

“Well I don’t fall under the ‘probably’ category on any of this stuff!”

Of course you don’t, sweetie.

Read Next: 25 Reasons Your Girlfriend Is Overrated

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