Performing some mundane but necessary chores about the house the other day, I first put on some tunes. Standard practice with me and I am sure, many others.

Every now and then, a song that I have heard 557,000 times comes across in an entirely new way. So it was this day, when Joan Jett and the Blackheart’s “I Hate Myself for Loving You” came on. A song that I have always liked, but until now, never fully understood. Joan Jett may very well be a feminist icon as her Wikipedia page states, but this song is some serious red pill truth. It is worth noting that the song was co-written by a man, one Desmond Child. Let’s take a look at the lyrics…

…Midnight, gettin’ uptight, where are you?
You said you’d meet me, now it’s quarter to two
I know I’m hangin’ but I’m still wantin’ you
Hey Jack, it’s a fact they’re talkin’ in town
I turn my back and you’re messin’ around
I’m not really jealous, don’t like lookin’ like a clown
I think of you ev’ry night and day
You took my heart then you took my pride away…

This guy is clearly an alpha of the first magnitude. He has stood her up, is blatantly messing around on her and she doesn’t really care. She just wants him. She is more concerned with her reputation than his shagging of other girls. He has her firmly on the hook and has made it clear that she is a low priority.

…I hate myself for loving you
Can’t break free from the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you
That’s why I hate myself for loving you
Ow! Uh…

Now we get to the famous refrain, “I Hate Myself for Loving You.” More on that later…

…Daylight, spent the night without you
But I’ve been dreamin’ ’bout the lovin’ you do
I’m over being angry ’bout the hell you put me through
Hey, man, bet you can treat me right
You just don’t know what you was missin’ last night
I wanna see you begging, say forget it just for spite
I think of you ev’ry night and day
You took my heart and you took my pride away…


Now we see the real yo-yo that is woman. The emotional back-and-forth of this short stanza is amazing and truly gets to the real crux of the matter. She got stood up and spent the night sexually frustrated, yet she is already forgiving him. At the same time, she had a fantasy in her head and imagined that it would’ve blown his mind, insinuating that he was the one who missed out on something special. Further, she says that she wants to see him begging, but we all know that is horseshit. That would kill it and she knows this also, that is why she has already forgiven him. She wants more of him, but this night he decided to service some other filly. He has options and is exercising them.

So, from the obverse we all get an idea of just what game is all about, but what more does this say about women and their psyche?*

The title really says it all- “I Hate Myself for Loving You.” Other writers, more skilled than I, have extrapolated on the emotional roller coaster that women love more than anything. This is a woman (a feminist no less) confirming that. She is sure as hell not singing an ode to the beta male. This man plays her like the strumpet she is and she hates herself for it.

What one must understand, is this—women talk a lot about love, but what they really mean is “respect.” Any women would rather have a man they respect than a man they “love.” Love is merely a more socially acceptable word. If the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, the way to a woman’s heart is through her respect. Get her to respect you and love will follow.

For a woman, what follows after love is self questioning—am I good enough? Pretty enough? Why can’t I nail this guy down? Yet that is exactly the situation that women crave. Each woman pretends that her vagina is worth gold. In reality, they all know that it really isn’t worth so much. Nevertheless, women indulge in the con game of vagimodity. The fact is that if you gain a woman’s respect, she will hate herself for that, all the while loving you.

Read More: Women React To Not Being Your Priority

Send this to a friend