One of the things I hear most among men is the running joke that there’s no point in trying to understand women because they’re too complicated.
Grow the fuck up.
Women aren’t difficult to understand. In exactly the same way certain behaviors become normalized when they’re a part of mass media, the idea that women are complicated arose because it’s a easy laugh. How many times have you seen (particularly in US shows) the bumbling idiot of a husband lumbering around from one situation to another, only for his patient wife to remark about his actions in a loving yet pitiful manner?
Many men are happy to subscribe to this idea as truth because it’s easy. It’s easier to play the game as a mindless idiot, because then you don’t have to take responsibility for your actions. In real life, men like this will end up getting divorced, in a miserable duty-bound marriage, or blindly unaware of their wife banging some other guy on the side. This is because few humans truly tolerate an adult-sized child for long.
In reality, your goal as a man (although this is also applicable to any person) should be to further yourself in a way that makes you happy. The meaning of life is to create a meaning for yourself. More on that in another post.
Coming back to the original topic; there are two simple keys to understanding women.
1. Women use language differently from us.
2. Women are simply very practical in getting what they want.
The Difference Of Women’s Language
Here is an example of women using different language: Old Unjaded (let’s call him Jaded) is horny. He wants to get down and dirty. He messages a girl:
Jaded: Hey Occasionally Fuck Buddy (OFB), how are you? What are you doing?
OFB: Oh I’m just at home. How are you?
Jaded: Yeah I’m good thanks. Feeling really horny today though. Can I come over?
OFB: Sorry to hear that. I don’t think it’s a good idea blah blah blah…
Basically, a woman generally isn’t going to respond to this unless she’s really into you (which usually lasts a short time if you’re only interested in fucking her) or she has low self esteem and not many options. This is rapidly becoming rare to find with proliferation of internet-based ego feeders. OFB’s version would be as so:
OFB: Hey, how are you?
Unjaded: Hey OFB, I’m good thanks. Been busy. And you?
OFB: I’m fine thank you. Went to XYZ last night. Would you like a coffee? Be good to see you.
Unjaded: Yeah why not. See you at ABC in 30 mins?
OFB: Great! See you soon.
So what’s going on here? I could provide a whole bunch of analysis, but the key point is that she’s using the word see instead of the word fuck. Simply transpose the word into the above conversation and that’s what she’s essentially saying. Meet somewhere within walking distance of your house. If she comes in, job done.
Why? Because women don’t like to think in their own heads (or their peers) that they’re sluts. Generally, they won’t embrace language like men do because it’s too direct, too real for them. So they need to delude themselves by going through certain motions or sequences, even if deep down they just like fucking you.
And frankly, there’s nothing wrong with that. If they like fucking, then fair enough. Women have been painted recently as the harbingers of controlling the unrelenting, testosterone fueled inherent rapists we men all are deep down, and so they have to justify to themselves any sex they have.
This is, of course, bullshit. It’s completely disgusting how the male heterosexual libido has been demonized to the point where men are ashamed to express it in even its tamest forms. But this is how the world is very often now, and as with anything, if you want to manipulate it you need to know how it works.
The Practicality Of Women
Onto the next point. Women are practical about what they want. If they want something or have the possibly of being subjected to pain, they will most often engineer a situation to facilitate or prevent it.
A common male fear is his girlfriend cheating on him when she is going on a girl’s holiday. Why? Because he knows, the uncommon and the illicit are attractive to anyone. Pedro the Brazilian barman doesn’t give a fuck, this is all the normal course for him.
If your girlfriend wants a little affair to break up the monotony of being with you, she’ll facilitate this by going on holiday alone, or with some girlfriends. Similarly, if a girl wants to be shafted by a number of different nationalities, she’ll become a “solo female traveler” (note another example of use of empowering language; a man doing the same will often get labelled as a “sex tourist”).
If a girl likes rugby guys, she’ll go to a sports bar. If she likes attention but not fucking, she’ll go to clubs “just for dancing.” If she’s worried you’ll finish with her, she’ll start hanging around with men, who’ll she’ll tell you are “just friends.” Break up and a week later said friend will be drilling your ex-woman.
If a girl accepts an invite to your place, she’s expecting you to at least try to sleep with her.
So I’m sure you get the idea. Just think about the practical aspects of whatever situation she is trying to engineer or has engineered, and boom: it’s right there in front of you. Nothing to understand, just don’t overcomplicate it and don’t lie to yourself. Men particularly have a habit of seeing what they want to see to justify their beliefs, rather than what is the actual truth.
Actions > Words
Remember, people prove themselves through their actions, not their words. If she’s saying one thing but her actions don’t seem to match what’s coming out of her mouth, always take her actions as the decisive factor.
I mentioned a fault of men is the try to convince themselves of things but choosing what they see. The fault of women is often, they are not authentic. They justify their own actions through lies and self-denial. For example, if they do something which makes them feel like a whore, they will then create justifications (usually blamed on outside circumstances) so they feel better about it.
Not understanding this combination of these male and female faults can be lethal for a man. You have to be aware of these general characteristics in case you need to counter them. See people for what they do, not how they justify it to themselves.