Habits are activities that we engage in every day, often on a near-subconscious level. They are things that occupy a large percentage of the time we’re awake. They define us.
Picture the man who gets off his 9-5 job, only to drive home, crack open a six pack, and watch sports recaps and television shows until passing out hammered. If these are things he tends to do on most days after work, they’ve become habits. And just from these two habits (drinking and watching television) you can construct a relatively accurate picture of this man’s life: what he values, how he carries himself, and where he’ll be in a few years time. What do you think?
I believe he probably values immediate satisfaction over long-term achievement. He most likely carries himself without much class or confidence. And he’ll probably be working the same shitty job in a few years time. He also probably has a lackluster love life and struggles with depression and intense insecurity. Escapist habits like drinking and overconsumption of television tend to be coping mechanisms.
The good thing about habits is that once you become aware and conscious of their existence, they’re not all that difficult to change. A strong initial push of willpower will usually instill a new habit into, or cut an unwanted existing habit out of, your regular behavior in a few weeks time. But which habits should you adopt?
I firmly believe the following three habits to be the best options available to men. They are all large habits, meaning that they’re activities that take some time, not things like flossing your teeth or abstaining from masturbation. While I do think there’s a lot of value in smaller habits as well, many of them tend to fall into place also automatically once larger positive habits have been established.
1. Resistance training
The benefits of following a proper exercise routine are numerous, starting with the discipline required to work out everyday and ending with the increased quality of life you’ll experience as a result. And this doesn’t even comment on the improved body composition, and the accompanying boost in confidence, you’ll acquire along the way.
But, for me, the number one reason to train with resistance and lift weights is to cultivate physical strength. Physical strength is at the crux of what it means to be a man. Without physical strength, men aren’t all that different than women. And while there are many other virtues of masculinity, like decisiveness and mental fortitude, most of them stem from the physical embodiment of strength.
Get on a proper weight lifting regimen ASAP and start realizing the aforementioned benefits.
2. Approaching women
The concept of “game” has many facets, but the act of approaching attractive women that you don’t know is undoubtedly is most important. This is because without actually approaching a girl, nothing else can come to fruition.
It’s also because the act of approaching a cute girl is a universal fear of men. And by making a habit of confronting a fear, you alter your reality. And this is where the real value of “game” comes into play.
Yes, enjoying a larger pool of women to interact with and attract is amazing, but the underlying process of training yourself to approach women in the face of internal resistance is what will change you. Suddenly tackling bigger obstacles in life, like quitting your job or pursuing a risky business venture, doesn’t seem like such a big deal.
Start approaching at least one girl per day to realize the benefits of this powerful practice.
3. Reading books
I was initially going to list meditation as the third habit. But truthfully, when you absorb yourself in the pages of a good book, you enter a meditative state. And you also can pull from the wisdom of great men that have came before you. So reading wins out.
I won’t go into much more detail, because its benefits are clear. But realize that nearly every great man (since the invention of the printing press) has shared the habit of reading absurd amounts of literature.
So, if you don’t already, start reading books, preferably ones in areas that you hope to improve upon.
Now imagine a man who lifts weights, approaches women and reads…
Chances are a man who practices these three habits is on his way to crushing life, if not already doing so. In stark contrast to the alcoholic television consumer we covered above, this man most likely values self improvement, carries himself with confidence, and will be making more money than he currently does in a couple years. He also probably has an amazing love life.
What do you do with your down time? What are your habits? What do they say about you?