We at Return Of Kings do not like fatties. That much is clear. However, America has continued to evolved into a place where being an obese land whale is more and more normal, and more and more socially unacceptable to not be attracted to obesity.

Even if children are not of age to realize the disgust of obesity, women now use their children as hamster fuel to justify their poor health habits.

Flipping through the pictures on my phone, I see it.

My first reaction is shock.


Who took this hideous picture of me?!

Self-loathing and disgust swell up and threaten to bring me to tears.

Just as I am about to hit delete, my boy walks in the room.

“Do you know anything about this picture?” I ask him.

I turn the screen so he can see it. He smiles huge.

“I took that of you in Tahoe,” he says. “You looked so beautiful laying there. I couldn’t help it, mom.”

For further proof of the hamster fuel, you need look no further than her author bio:

Bridgette White is a stay-at-home mother of two who lives in Sacramento with her husband and two guinea pigs. She is the author of BridgetteTales.com, a blog about depression, self-discovery and parenting. Bridgette worked at the Sacramento Bee for 7 years and was featured as part of the inaugural Sacramento cast of Listen To Your Mother.

Even this delusional woman is aware of her lack of attractive features, and that her sexual marketplace value is low. Despite her hamster-ific rantings, it is clear that she feels unattractive. As much as this article goes on to tell how her kids changed her self-image, we here are all “aware enough” to realize that she is full of shit:

Right now I’m the heaviest I’ve been in 10 years. Yet…

I have not let my weight stop me this time. I am wearing tank tops, sundresses and bathing suits in public. I’m running around playing with my kids this summer and I sometimes even feel attractive.

Yes. You heard me.

“I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty, and witty and bright.”

People whom are happy generally don’t feel the need to write articles about how happy they are. Neither do rich men need to tell you they are rich.

Well… not exactly. But something like that.

Is it because I’m getting older? Is it that I have more to worry about than just how I look? Or maybe it’s because my kids look at me with such adoring eyes.

Really, it doesn’t matter.

I don’t hate my body anymore.


Which is why she wrote an entire article about how she doesn’t hate it.

That’s huge for me to admit and hard to even wrap my mind around.

I’m not giving up on exercising and getting healthy. Those are things I will continue to strive for because I want to be around awhile.

It’s just on hold for now, because it’s far more important to write articles about fat acceptance than to prioritize your health and get to the gym.

Right now though, I just want to love my body where it is. I want it to be OK to see myself the way my kids do.

Thank you, kids.

But, putting this all aside, there is a much bigger issue to take from this article.

Kids Have Been Brainwashed

Now, I love my mother dearly, and always will. If she was an obese land whale, I wouldn’t go and say that flat to her face. Especially if I was a young child (and it’s fair to assume her children are reasonably young based off of the article context).

However, the way her children phrased this sends a signal loud and clear – fat, obese, and with flappy arms is the new normal, even considered “beautiful”. This is in the minds that are the least polluted of anyone – young children. Even they have been brainwashed with the message of fat acceptance, whether it be plus-sized models on television or being shamed for being repulsed by obesity.

Where To From Here?

There has to be an end somewhere in sight, right? Much how like the stock market crashes and eventually recovers, you would think that eventually, American society would hit rock bottom in regards to obesity. Considering the current crop of attractive women (and men) in this country, it would be logical to assume that rock bottom point is reasonably near.

Yet, I don’t think we have reached that point.

With kids becoming more fat accepting, will it suddenly become acceptable for kids themselves to be fat? When I was 14, I stood 5’8″ and weighed about 220 pounds. Kids made fun of me – a lot. It was what drove me to drop over 80 pounds in ten months. While I certainly was bullied, I realize now that I was shamed.

That shame did me a lot of good, otherwise I’d still be playing Warcraft, munching on Doritos and sucking down cans of Mountain Dew Code Red. The shaming convinced me to not continue down the path of being a disgusting pig.

Kids who tell their mothers that they are gorgeous while overweight will tell other kids that, too. Fat will become the new normal (though perhaps it already is). Even virginal minds of children, biologically programmed to be repulsed by cellulite and a lack of a gap between the thighs, are beginning to cherish fat acceptance. If rock bottom ever comes, it will be when all children encourage each other in their fat ways, rather than shaming as they are (currently) naturally inclined to do.

By the way, someone should call the Tahoe Police Department.

There is a whale who washed up on the beach.

Read More: The Horrifying Merger Of Feminism And Fat Acceptance

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