A History Lesson

On the 4th of July, 1776, the original thirteen American colonies declared their independence from the British Empire in the form of the Declaration Of Independence. After 86 revisions of Thomas Jefferson’s original draft, the Continental Congress approved it, officially marking America has an independent nation. Since that faithful day of 1776 (or, at least when the American Revolution ended), the 4th of July has always been a national day of celebration; where people cherish everything that America stands for.

America has always been the land of the free, and the home of the brave. The lands where people have rights to pursue the American dream of a white picketed house in the suburbs, fatherhood, and a successful career, among other goals. I don’t need to go into more detail on these topics as they have already been covered in great detail in the ROK archives.

But the fact that these original American goals, dreams, and ways of life have become such a black hole means that the meaning of the 4th of July has changed over time. So what does the 4th of July mean in our modern era?

The 4th of July has become nothing more than another commercial holiday: another excuse to get drunk, eat junk food, and escape the grind of the workforce for one measly day. While people might dress up in red, white, and blue, it’s hard to imagine that true American spirit still holds the same meaning as it did when our founding fathers signed their names on the Declaration Of Independence. How can it, when the true American dream has been utterly ripped apart and stomped on by poor government spending, a welfare system that greatly promotes the scum of society mooching off of the hard workers, and work environments so toxic that a large portion of the population resembles roly polys from sitting at their desks all day?


Our founding fathers are rolling over in their graves.

This is not what they envisioned, I’m sure. Yet, every year as summer rolls around, we bring out the beer coolers, march like robots in cheesy parades, and light off fireworks (if you’re lucky enough to live in an area you can actually buy them yourself) to celebrate the American dream that is now buried with Thomas Jefferson and the rest of the Continental Congress. I mean, a contest where we watch people shove dozens of hot dog down their throats in a matter of minutes is one of the most popular 4th of July events.

Hypocritical disclaimer: I am spending my 4th of July drinking and participating in a giant marshmallow fight on the beach. It seems patriotic, right?

Modern Day 4th Of July

Despite the problems I’ve posed above, there is a light to be gleaned from this.

This community at ROK is still free. While societal odds might be stacked against us, we know how to push forward as men and continue to achieve our goals and dreams; despite the fact that those goals may not flow with the old-fashioned American dream.

But screw that, because now we have the whole world at our fingertips. Rather than your suburbia neighborhood, you are free to explore the beaches of South America or the beautiful architecture of Europe. Rather than grinding out your own career, you can make a living off of the Internet. Rather than put up with the American dating scene, you can use it to score all of the free, easy sex you want.

Maybe it’s time to put a new spin on the 4th of July. Rather than speaking in misery of what America used to be, and what it has become, think of the 4th of July as your time to sit back, reflect, and realize how lucky we all are to have taken the red pill – American dream be damned.

Have a safe and happy 4th of July.

Read More: The Holidays: Amateur Nights on Steroids


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