Often you will hear a woman, well-meaning or otherwise, ask how to get a man to commit to her. In the various incarnations of Beige Phillip and Black Phillip that I have written on before, Both Dante Nero and Patrice Have talked about their Jellybean Theory, which gives girls a blueprint for getting commitment from a man. You can listen to the entire description here:

The short version of it is this: every girl is represented by a jellybean jar. Every time she does something positive, she puts a jellybean into the jar. Every time she nags, flakes, denies sex, throws a tantrum, or other misbehavior, she is taking multiple jellybeans out of the jar. Most women will add and subtract so that it roughly evens out over time. The best move, however, is to add so many jellybeans that when she takes it away by withdrawing from the relationship, the man has no choice but to consider commitment because of the value she has brought to his life.

Every red pill aware man I’ve known who has gotten married or into a serious relationship entered one that followed one of these two paths. This isn’t a basement neckbeard who gets his first girlfriend off the internet — I’ve seen it apply to Red Pill-aware men who have had lots of options, know the game a bit, and still choose to settle down:

1. Consistently add to the jar

Consistent-adders may not dazzle you at first, but they are the girls who continue to add value as the relationship progresses. They take care of you when you are sick, keep nagging to a minimum, and are generally just very pleasant to be around. While the sex may not be mind-blowing, it is good, on-demand and the girls keep in shape. These girls often have other intellectual pursuits and practical skills such as cooking, and a more even-keel outlook on life. The way to describe this type of relationships is “easy”, because it does not add any further headache to your life.


Most well-adjusted red pill relationships follow this blueprint. Women will be women, but the disruptions (and thus subtractions from the jar) are at an absolute minimum. We tend to make dating, relationships, and the game into an adversarial interaction, but sometimes we forget that with the right maintenance and choice of woman, it can be a value-adding experience. If you believe in marriage, you would consider making a long-term investment only to women who fall into this category.

2. Add and subtract from the jar in wild, unpredictable swings

These girls may drop an entire bag of jellybeans in the jar at once but might then steal the jar, smash it on the ground, and fuck your best friend. The highs are extremely high, with incredible sex in the most spontaneous of situations, proclamations and of undying love, and other tokens that make you feel at the pinnacle of your masculinity.

Unfortunately, the dark side of these women is that they tend to be duplicitous, self-serving, and destructive. They crave drama, and will do everything up to and including ruining your life to achieve it. One reason that men get so sucked into dating girls with Borderline Personality Disorder is women with that affliction are so extreme in their loving and hating that men are unfamiliar with the level of emotion they inspire. “A girl has never loved me this much before,” they will say, before she cheats on him and slashes his tires. When they withdraw from the relationship, the men begin to miss the boom days while they forget the numerous bust periods that went along with them.

I’ve seen two types of men who are prone to fall into a relationship of this structure. Men of the first type understand that the situation is untenable, but they are so desensitized by their successes in the game that only these girls can fire off the dopamine in their brain and provide the same rush that they used to get from making out with the nerdy girl in the high school library. The other type of man who falls into this pattern is the natural who has psychological issues of his own and craves a rocky, codependent relationship (e.g. Mystery).

Keep in mind the two roads that women take to inspiring your commitment. My recommendation is that you search out and cherish the former, while avoiding the latter like the plague.

Read Next: 5 Ways To Land (And Keep) A Quality Boyfriend

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