There’s a good chance you’re reading this article on your iPhone.  Or maybe your iPad.  Or your MacBook.

A single Apple store is about as valuable as the White House.

How is this even possible?

All it takes is one girl on a date playing with her iPhone to realize that Apple is deeper into the soul of the average American than you could possibly fathom.  People literally spend hours at a time playing Angry Birds, The Sims, and iMessaging their friends.  Of course, all while trying to drive, walk, or do other tasks.  They piss their lives away in front of a liquid crystal display.

#YOLO, right?

It’s simple.  Apple has completely infiltrated American culture.  It has become as much of a part of our society as the NFL.  An outsider could look at an American and size them up simply by the version of iPhone resting in their palm (granted this is also probably true in other countries, guess I’ll find out soon).

The question is – how has Apple done it?

It’s quite simple.  By appealing to the masses of American culture.


The Ritz-Carlton is one of the most famous and luxurious brands of hotels in the world.  When I was in college and working a retail job, I remember I was forced to read a book during store downtime – The New Gold Standard.


The book is actually an excellent read if you want to succeed in customer service and sales.  In other words, it teaches how to do a damn good job of kissing ass, making sales, and making people happy.  Naturally, Apple modeled their entire “Genius” bar after a hotel concierge desk.

They staffed said bar with customer savvy, friendly people.  Many of whom are utterly incapable of explaining any technology to a consumer.  However, that doesn’t matter, simply because of the illusion that has already been built by the time the user walks into the store.

When one walks into an Apple store, it very much seems like a happy hour.  There are loads of people socializing, playing with the latest gadgets, and all the employees are dressed in casual jeans and t-shirts.  The person walking into the store naturally thinks that due to the mass number of people, Apple must automatically be a great company.

By the time they have navigated the entire store, and spoke to the employees who are hand-fed notes from a luxury hotel brand, the consumers are so impressed that they are lining up outside of the store on the next iPhone launch for 12 hours in the pouring rain.

Brilliant Marketing

Apple has marketed their products so that they seem to be much, much more than simple shiny computers, phones, and tablets.  If you watch some commercials and propaganda that Apple puts out, they sell their products as if they are literally human – as if they are a part of your life.

Their marketing campaigns focus much more on how the iPhone enhances your life as opposed to how it is just another cool gadget.  Their entire line – iPhone, iPad, iMac – all flow perfectly with each other – me, me, me.  It enhances your life and makes things easier for you. 


Apple has successfully sold consumers on the need for their products to simply live, instead of as an enhancement.

Truthfully, it’s brilliant.


Stupidity And Laziness Sell

This is the main reason Apple has managed to poison so many young American minds with their technology and propaganda.

From a young age, young Americans like myself are taught to look for the easiest way out.  Hard work, dedication, and perseverance are becoming less and less noble qualities.  Instead, shortcuts through life are not only encouraged, but expected but many of today’s youth.

Children think they are entitled to a car when they turn 16 years old.

Kids think because they averaged a 3.0 in high school, they’re entitled to a full ride college scholarship.

Because they graduated college, they’re entitled to a job.

Since they can’t find a job since they have a liberal arts degree, they’re entitled to a free government ride.

However, you aren’t owed shit.

Nothing is easy, as people on welfare can attest to.

Apple exploits this laziness and sense of entitlement in it’s marketing.  In addition to selling the need for their products, Apple has successfully managed to sell itself simply based off of the supposed ease of use of it’s flagship products.  Can’t figure out how to email on your PC?  Well, Apple’s mail program will fix that.  Can’t edit photos?  iPhoto can do that for you.  Want to make a movie?  Sony Vegas is too difficult, so fire up iMovie.

Americans are simply too lazy to take the time to apply themselves to learning.

Truthfully, it is America’s greatest weakness as we continue to move further and further towards a leftist society, full of hipsters wearing skinny jeans and riding skateboards while they get their workout from typing on iMessage.  Quite frankly, I think the executives at Apple are brilliant for marketing the way they do, and continuing to gouge people with the prices on both their products and their culture.

Apple, Inc., has continue to dangle a poisonous, but incredibly tempting piece of fruit in front of the hands of the American public.  Little do Americans realize that these products continue to deteriorate our culture – making us a shell of our former social selves.

Dinner parties have been replaced by Words With Friends, real life conversations have been replaced with iMessage, and a friendly game of pickup basketball has been reduced to slinging birds into rocks across a liquid crystal display.

As cultures become more and more reliant on technology, someday, having a high score in the latest version of Angry Birds will be as much of a status symbol as driving a Porsche.  One day, my Candy Crush score will be more impressive than my guitar abilities.  A man will be judged more on his ability to spike attraction via text message as opposed to seducing a girl in person.

Hopefully, it does not come to that.  One day, perhaps our culture will wake up from the poisons that Apple has spread.

One can only hope.

Read More: Apple Should Have Never Hired A Female Handbag Executive

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