Here is a quick short story I’d like to share with you ROK readers. A story of compassion, love and struggle.

Tomas and Maria met when they were just children. Both were raised in Croatian immigrant families, so they saw each other regularly at Croatian parties. Like all immigrant families new to Western society, the encouragement to affiliate with similar people was a natural urge. They were both raised in traditional Croatian households, perhaps extra traditional to enforce the family values that had sustained their people for thousands of years. The parents could feel the Western influence infiltrating their children’s minds, so they became stricter. The common goal of keeping the old country’s culture and values strong was a shared ideal amongst the community.


Croatian girls

At times Tomas and Maria were annoyed with their parent’s indignant “suggestions” to find a nice “Croatian girl” or “Croatian boy”. Of course, the final choice to whom they would marry was his to make, but the parental guidance was fueled by the parents wanting their children to start families with people who shared traditional Croatian values. Luckily, their suggestions were considered and Tomas and Maria ultimately married each other. Tomas taught engineering and Maria was a stay-at-home mom. Everything looked bright for these young Croatians to start a fulfilling life and family together.

Then came the baby carriage(s). Three healthy boys, Martino, Yure and Josip were born and everyone rejoiced. Tomas continued his job as a professor at a local college and Maria stayed home to cook and maintain the house. The kids’ friends were frequent visitors to the house, Maria made sure they were always fed and happy. She enjoyed taking care of them.

Unfortunately, financial troubles struck. Tomas’s job wasn’t yielding enough money to support the financial strain of three boys plus an expensive mortgage. He decided to start a side business in the midst of all of this to fix his money problems and seek a brighter future. As provider, he knew it was up to him to get his family through this strenuous time. He knew his place.


The work load of juggling a job and  working on a start-up created tension throughout the house. Maria felt neglected and really felt Tomas’s lack of presence since he was always busy. Fights would break out daily between the couple and things did not look good. Tomas could not be bothered to think about anything else besides work, he was driven to make things better. Maria was hurt and felt alone frequently, but she knew it was her duty to fix meals daily and tend to the children and did so. She knew her place.

woman on kitchen

While most marriages would crumble and end in divorce from this fiasco, Tomas and Maria stayed true to their traditional values and together they made it work. Each had their role assigned, accepted their position on the team and didn’t ponder taking the escape route. This is a traditional marriage with traditional gender roles. It is the basis of a healthy relationship and also happens to be the driving force behind core family values. There is no alternative.

If you’re wondering what happened to Tom and Maria, it ended quite well. Tom’s company became a multi-million dollar software enterprise and its success let his sons get a private education in the city’s top schools. They also built a new spacious house fit for a king, in it: a majestic kitchen fit for a queen. They are now indefinitely financially stable and their son’s have developed into intelligent, driven people just like their father. I know this because I am one of those sons. I am the result of a traditional sex role household, and I am extremely grateful.

Don’t mess with a good thing

Laws for relationships like polarity and traditional sex roles have been used since the beginning of time. Some argue that the world has changed and you must be a progressive, but a core human nature will always remain. If it hadn’t been for these traditions in my home life I would have surely been worse off than I am today. I am not alone; there are others like me, but without awareness they may become extinct. It’s time for society to compare the new ways of thinking about love and relationships with those of the past, and make a logical choice.


Article copyright to @DonMartco.

Take to twitter to share your story. #BACKTOTHEKITCHEN

Read More: The Time Is Right For Traditional Sex Roles To Return


Send this to a friend