Sandra Fluke came to prominence last year, after claiming that the government should pay for her birth control. Suddenly, the pill became one of life’s necessities – and the state had to pay for it. Even religious institutions, like the Catholic Georgetown University were expected to pay up for Fluke’s “whore pills.”

The backlash was swift. Many didn’t want to aid and abet whoredom among parasites like Fluke. Others didn’t want another entitlement, bought and paid for by the taxpayer. Yet nowadays, bastardy is extremely common. Children are born out of wedlock, and even outside of a serious relationship. Little Johnny may have been conceived in a Vegas stairway.

A child by another man is enough to make a woman un-dateable. Reducing bastardy is in every man’s interest, just as a healthier, less fattening food supply would be – it would mean more comely women for the men of the West. Bastardy has also been linked to greater criminality, and a raft of other undesirable outcomes.

If women’s sexuality were heavily guarded until marriage, there would be little need for birth control. Nowadays, women marry in their late 20s, more than a decade after puberty. They lead independent lives in a society saturated with sexual imagery and come-ons. Expecting more than a small minority to ‘save it for marriage’ is utterly demented.

A patriarchal society of early marriage and sexual restraint is not coming back any time soon – birth control is an absolute necessity to keep the bastards at bay. I stand with Sandra Fluke.

Proud Slut

The Need For A Better Pill

Except… the pill has been around for decades now, yet bastardy is far higher now than it was before the pill came out. The genie of fornication cannot be put back in the bottle for the rudderless mainstream. But the pill hasn’t worked either – it failed to eliminate bastardy. Or abortion for that matter – three in 10 American women will have an abortion at some point.

The pill is powerless where it is needed most; there is the bimbo who is too irresponsible to take a pill daily. Or the woman in the grips of ‘mother-lust’ mid-coitus, who yearns to have a child and ‘forgets’ to take it.  Or simply the girl who raw-dogs with abandon, without any concern for birth control at all. There is even the man who wants to snare a woman by inseminating her. In short, the pill is not retard-proof. It is a half-assed solution to a serious problem. What’s needed is a contraceptive solution that requires no effort from a woman to work effectively.

There are solutions – the intrauterine device (IUD) is one. As soon it’s inserted in a woman’s vagina, it prevents conception, and it remains effective for up to twelve years. There is practically nothing a woman needs to do to keep it working. I.e., it’s idiot-proof. It’s the most effective form of reversible birth control, and it also gets the highest rating for user satisfaction. The IUD holds great promise as a weapon against the plague of bastardy.

Effective long term birth control is also available in the form of an implant, which can be effective for several years. Together, these methods rank on a par with sterilization in effectiveness. In a trial run with St. Louis women, the implant and IUDs were twenty times better than the pill.


Except no one wants it. The right is in righteous denial that everyone who’s single fornicates, and that that isn’t changing. They prefer to thump their bibles in irrelevance, and blame men for knocking innocent little girls up. Feminists say “teach men not to rape.” Conservatives say “teach men not to fuck. But women are always innocent.” Here we have a tremendous tool to keep women from resorting to abortions, yet the ‘pro-lifers’ would have nothing to do with it.

Meanwhile, on the left, single mothers are modern-day saints – questioning having children out of marriage is heresy to a progressive. And because bastardy is more prevalent among blacks and Hispanics than among whites, they’re deathly afraid of telling minority women off, lest they be accused of racism. They’re too happy to collude with the right, and just shame men for those immaculate conceptions of ‘helpless’ women. And many minority women themselves think contraception is a government conspiracy to keep minority birth rates down.

Additionally, birth control pills have been fingered for polluting water; these pollutants wreak havoc on fish and amphibians, and are very expensive to remove.  A switch to a non-hormonal IUD would have a great environmental payoff as well.


A Fish On The Pill

A Role For Government?

How would a policy promoting long term birth control work? The government might cover the cost of the initial insertion, plus a follow-up visit. Single women ages 18-30 would be eligible. Women could have it removed at any time at their own expense, but if they wanted the government to pay for the removal, they would have to prove they were married. The rate of ‘unintended pregnancies’ among users of the pill are too high. Contra Fluke, subsidizing them is simply a bad idea. The IUD and implant, however, are vastly superior in avoiding unintended pregnancies and abortions. The case for government subsidies to cut bastardy and abortion is strong when the solution actually works.

Widespread use of long term birth control would also be an effective stopgap measure until birth control for men comes about. The implant and the IUD are not foolproof, nor are they suitable for every woman. But their mass adoption would constitute a serious, effective response to rampant bastardy and abortion. And when she does up and decide to marry, she will find it far easier without another man’s spawn in tow.

Your dear author would gladly chip in and pay several hundred dollars to strap every strumpet with foolproof contraception – no small thing for a Goldstein. Upon feeling that tell-tale string in a woman’s vagina, a man could smite her unsheathed, content that his rutting would be fruitless. Heaven hath no bliss like raw dogging in serenity. To disagree is to admit to a personal poverty of fornication; for to fornicate is human, but to raw dog is divine.

Read More: Single Mothers Should Be Held Accountable

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