The “player “ lifestyle isn’t for everyone. Hell, most men don’t want to be “players,” and by that I mean they don’t enjoy the process of playing the game. More than anything, men want to be secure in their ability to get sex when they want it, but they don’t want to burn so many calories pursuing the base, biological urge to orgasm.

Even experienced players can spend time, money, energy, and emotional investments trying to get laid only to be left watching Pornhub alone at the end of the night. That’s the main reason so many young men want loyal women; they don’t want families (even though they should)—they just want to get laid and move on with their lives.

And yet, so many men today complain about not being able to find wife material. They blame society and feminism and the chosen people, but the reason you, the man reading this, can’t find wife material is that you’re not willing to work for it. Yes, western decadence and degeneracy have shrunk the pool of good women, but that’s not why you haven’t found a good woman. Men out there are still finding good women.

So why aren’t you?

1. You’re Expectations Are Too High

Here’s the truth behind each young man’s complaint about modern women. When they ask, “Where can I find a good woman?” they really mean, “Where can I find a young, beautiful virgin who loves to give blowjobs but only wants to give them to me and who cooks well, cleans, doesn’t spend money, avoids social media, doesn’t have any baggage, and respects her elders?” You don’t want a wife or a good woman, you want a beautiful virgin-sex slave-maid servant.

Women are people and people have flaws. There’s a girl out there who might want to blow you in-between cooking and cleaning for you, but she’s definitely not a virgin and she’s probably chubby (to put it nicely). You want an ideal, a fantasy woman. The best advice I give men I know is to lower their standards for happiness. You might just meet your standards for happiness if you don’t set them impossibly high.

2. You’re Not Willing To Sacrifice

Jeff Bezos earned his wife, with whom he has four children. Notice that she still looks great at almost 50 years old

There are beautiful virgin-sex slave-maid servants out there, but why would they choose you? Good women typically come from good families. They know their value, and it’s greater than yours.

If you’re not a player, how much are you worth today? How about five years from now? If the answer to either of those questions isn’t $1 million forget about getting the woman you envision. She can get a millionaire. What exactly are you sacrificing to be as valuable as good women, who are increasingly rare and in-demand in such desolate times?

If you are a player, why would a good woman want you? Getting with you lowers her value because she loses the ideal that men want. As a player, you spend your time banging loose women, you don’t have much value to good women with family and domestic values. If she gets with you, by definition, she isn’t a good woman anymore. You’d have to give up the player lifestyle for a few years before genuinely seeking a good woman. Otherwise, as a player, your inability to find a good woman becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.


The regular guys aren’t busting their butts spending time and energy to get a good woman, but neither are the players willing to sacrifice casual sex with loose women. Why should you expect to get something valuable without sacrificing for it?

3. You’re Not Mormon

I’m not Mormon, nor do I particularly like or dislike Mormon people, but Mormon women are good women. If you really wanted a good-looking woman (especially guys who prefer white women) who cleans and cooks and isn’t a whore but will do what you want in the bedroom, you’d convert to Mormonism. The reason you’re not a Mormon is that you don’t want to sacrifice your time for church, alcohol, caffeine, R-rated movies, etc.

From a study by Brigham Young University’s Family and Demographic Research Institute

Even red-pilled men can have a sense of entitlement. Even we can blame feminism and the deep state for a problem when a solution to that problem is right in front of us. Do you want a truly good woman? Make the sacrifices, convert at your local LDS church, sell your car and ride a bike, and go on a mission to convert aborigines to Mormonism. You’ll get that good wife.

4. You’re Looking For Shortcuts

You already knew about Mormons. You also know you haven’t done much to earn that good woman most men seek. You also already know deep down that what you want is an ideal, not a genuine person. But instead of doing things the hard way, making the necessary improvements and sacrifices to attract a good woman, you’ll look for a shortcut.

How many guys travel to Southeast Asia for a wife while knowing nothing about the culture there? Western men think that Laos (or wherever) is filled with beautiful virgin-sex slave-maid servants eager to worship a Western cock. Guess again. Those women are flawed too. The more shortcuts you take the more you feel the burn. How many American men have been divorce raped by Filipina women?

It’s the same in Eastern Europe and South America. The good women there don’t want you any more than the good women of your own country. They can smell that you’re not worthy and that you’re trying to take a shortcut. The bad women there will gladly take advantage of you. They’ll fool you into thinking they’re good women because you don’t know any better and you have already put them on a pedestal in your mind.


So stop asking where to find wife material. Be worthy of wife material by doing it the hard way: sacrifice and energy and effort and being good husband material. Accept that women will always have some flaws, though some women are undoubtedly better than others. You can lead a woman who will follow you to improve herself as you improve yourself. It won’t be easy, but you also won’t have to search for sex whenever you feel the urge.

For more from Jared Trueheart on the roles of men and women in literature and film check out his writing at Legends of Men.

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