Poe’s law has been in action again: you can’t satirize the left without being taken seriously by them. Pranksters recently made hoax pictures mocking Starbucks’ pandering to leftist mobs after a store manager in Philadelphia called the police on two black men who didn’t buy anything and refused to leave. Starbucks apologized profusely for their “unconscious race bias,” prompting fake coupons to be circulated online that offered free coffee to only black people. While many posting the coupons, such as Roosh, added the caveat “even if it’s not real,” it was a great way to show Starbucks cucking to the social justice outrage machine.

Business Insider posted an article about this hoax and used it as an opportunity to take a swipe at Trump, as well as Roosh by linking to a hit-piece about him written in the Guardian.

Baristas are instructed to use discount code 1488, the combination of two numbers that have become symbols of white supremacy. The QR code for the coupon links to a website page that translates the code as the n-word.

Among the accounts sharing the fake coupon were Gab, a social network known for its popularity among far-right figures that have been banned from other platforms, and Daryush “Roosh V” Valizadeh, a controversial pick-up artist and blogger.

This is the same Starbucks that gives away shareholder money to homosexual charities. When a shareholder complained about it, Chairman Howard Schultz said “if he doesn’t like it, sell your stock.”

This is the same Starbucks that when Trump announced a travel ban, announced it would hire 10,000 Muslim refugees. This is the same Starbucks that had it’s baristas write “race together” to start a dialogue about race. It looks like they finally got the dialog they were looking for. Be careful what you wish for.

The incident that precipitated this was the arrest of two men for loitering and not being able to use the bathroom. It is not unusual for a man to have to be a paying customer to use the bathroom; it had nothing to do with race. But, like the calorie counts of soy based coffee milkshakes they drink on the daily, it’s hard to communicate that to the hysterical mob of hairy armpited, hair dyed fatties.

Now that all freeloaders know Starbucks’ new corporate policies, it’s important to spread the word that Starbucks is a public bathroom first and foremost. Once homeless people set up camp in there and a few junkies overdose and die on the toilet, will they rethink this policy? No, they will double down, dye their hair a new color and break out the megaphones.


Hair color as fake as your mom when she tells you she’s proud of you.

I’ve done security work as a bouncer. I’ve literally been hired to stop people who aren’t customers hanging around in places of business. If you are asked to leave for any reason but you do not leave, you have committed trespass. I’ve seen white and black people tucked into the back of police cars and driven off for this. It’s nothing new, but the two black men deliberately targeted Starbucks because the company has invested money in its cuck branding. It makes it easy to get money out of them to not ruin their brand. So basically it was a robbery without weapons.

It’s like paying the mob for protection money after being vandalized: the thugs you are getting protection from and the thugs you are paying to be protected from are secretly part of the same conspiracy. So these guys come into Starbucks and deliberately provoke a scene and then Starbucks pays a bunch of money to charitable organizations run by race baiters like Al Sharpton and the ADL, not realizing that everyone was in on the same conspiracy.

Starbucks said Tuesday it will be closing all of its company-owned restaurants in the U.S. during the afternoon of May 29 to conduct a racial-bias education program.

The announcement follows protests over the arrests of two black men who had asked to use a bathroom at a Starbucks in Philadelphia.

“I’ve spent the last few days in Philadelphia with my leadership team listening to the community, learning what we did wrong and the steps we need to take to fix it,” CEO Kevin Johnson said in a statement Tuesday. “While this is not limited to Starbucks, we’re committed to being a part of the solution. Closing our stores for racial bias training is just one step in a journey that requires dedication from every level of our company and partnerships in our local communities.”

Starbucks will be spending a lot of money on this diversity training—it’s big business. Then they will pretend as if the mass majority of Starbucks baristas aren’t already white-guilt-ridden soyboys who lack a spine and are actually excited for this multicultural diversity training.

Free at last, free at last. Any size beverage, free at last!

Normally I’d laugh and let the left eat itself, but if Starbucks goes down, surely some other coffee place will take its place for the trendy leftist champagne socialists to consume. As I sit here in a Starbucks typing this article, uploading it to Return of Kings via their wifi, I don’t feel bad at all that I didn’t buy anything. After all, this is now the desired behavior, all for the universally desired goal of ending privilege forever, or whatever.

Read More: Why Heterosexual Men Should Boycott Starbucks 

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