Instagram has always been a watering hole for chump-like males. While it can be a great tool for picking up chicks, Instagram is single-handedly facilitating the rise to fame of thousands of (talentless) women.  I’m here to even a playing field that has descended into chaos. I’m here to stop the chump.

The chump is the guy who actively follows girls on Instagram. He likes all their photos. He “slides” into their DMs to tell them they’re “gorgeous.” He repeatedly comments on their pictures with rocket ship or fire emojis while having hilariously low chances of hooking up with the girls.

If you engage in this sort of chump behavior, stop it right now. If you happen to be friends with a chump, I insist you make it known to them, in no uncertain terms, that they’re hurting the common man’s chances while adding fuel to the fires of bitchdom. They must understand that it’s a zero-sum game.  Here are a few things to point out to your chump friend(s).

1. Don’t follow a girl who won’t follow you back

Don’t follow this girl

Know what you’re up against; a girl with 10k followers won’t follow back a guy with 149 followers, unless they know him personally (or actually give a shit about him). By following these sirens, as alluring as they are, you feed their narcissism and become just another casualty in the trenches of social media chumpery. Don’t be a number.

2. Use the like button wisely

If you toss a cute girl a like, go MIA for a while. Don’t feed the bird. This keeps her guessing, or at least piqued. Insta-broads are reactionary creatures, so give them space to react. Sure, some other chump, or even a real dude, could take your place but, in a market this saturated, you need to stand out. There’s no guarantee that this will get her attention, but it’ll definitely prevent you from looking like a beta-chump cuck-zombie, and feeling like one too.

3. Never comment on her photos

Don’t comment on this photo

Unless you’ve whipped up the ultimate panty dropper or are currently the face of the new Hugo Boss line, I suggest you leave the Instagram comments to her fake girlfriends. For the chump that insists on communicating their despicable horniness in this overtly pathetic way, here are three likely scenarios:

  • She’ll (coldly) respond to your comment because she thinks you’re an awkward little boy and she feels embarrassed for you.
  • She will flatly ignore the comment.
  • She will respond to someone else’s comment while ignoring yours.

Stay away from the comment section, period.

4.  Stop watching her lame Stories

To the men who view every single one of a girl’s Instagram stories, what are you accomplishing?  The app tells her who views each story. It’s as if you’re lurking in the shadows stalking her.  This removes any chance of her respecting you.  You can watch the odd story of hers, but keep yourself busy with developing yourself instead and you won’t even have time to exhibit such thirsty behavior.

5.  Don’t encourage your friends

If you have a group chat with friends of yours, don’t be the chump who posts pics of half-naked females all day long. If you have a friend who does, kindly tell him he’s a loser in that tone of voice you use when you’re joking but not joking.

A buddy of mine was notorious for this, and I honestly can’t remember the last time he hooked up with a girl. Subconsciously, he’s telling himself that these girls are above him in terms of social status and attractiveness. Also, what kind of a man posts photos of a girl for other men to drool over? It’s unbecoming of a gentleman, sounds more like a chump to me.


It’s important to remember that there is nothing masculine about salivating over a girl’s Instagram profile. Women posting t & a selfies in bikinis, lingerie, or yoga pants have found a way to steal a living largely thanks to social media chumps.

Apparel, nutrient supplement, and pretentious tea companies are some of the many businesses that are willing to sponsor women with large followings to advertise their products.  This is how the free market works. I can’t blame women for taking advantage of a capitalist system in which everyone is entitled to spend their money however they wish. The fault and responsibility falls upon the hunched shoulders of chumps. Without their attention, not as many girls would have such large and largely undeserved social media audiences. They would be forced to work normal jobs that benefit society.

Read More: I Just Found Out That A Girl I Grew Up With Is An “Instagram Model”


Send this to a friend