“Recovery” is the term most associated with people who are in current addiction treatment or who are sober but continue in some form of sobriety program. The most common of these is the Twelve-Step program associated with A.A. and N.A., though less common alternative methods exist.
After working in the medical field for four years—including six months of supervising addiction treatment—I’ve come to the firm conclusion that no man committed to his betterment and happiness should seriously consider romantic involvement with a recovering addict.
If while pursuing your routines, a chemically-conditioned waif falls into your lap with the result that you bed her, don’t stress. Men are not typically derailed by a one-night stand. It is the girl a man invests some measurable amount of his energy and resources into that ends up harming him.
However, if you are tempted to think that a formerly fiending woman may be a viable source of long-term happiness, then here is what you need to know.
1. She Is Damaged
Not all drug use is equal, and the occasional Xanax popper, weekend boozer, or weed hound is a far cry from an all-out meth, heroin, or benzo junkie. That aside, if she has been through one or more treatment programs, then consider her damaged. Her health may make a recovery if she maintains sobriety, but there are other factors that will take longer to heal, if they even can.
She will likely have legal, financial, and emotional burdens to foist on others for some time to come. Whether you believe her condition is a legitimate “disease” or a simple cascade of bad decisions, your choice should be easy. Steer clear.
2. She Is Psychologically Unstable
According to stats from SAMHSA, approximately one in four American women have a mental health disorder and around 13% (one in eight) actively use illicit drugs. Combine this research with the NESARC finding of 50 percent drug or alcohol dependence among women with mood and anxiety disorders.
Correlation vs causation is uncertain, but the result is the same. Your rehab snowflake who is doing so well in her sobriety likely exists on a cocktail of anti-depressants and mood stabilizers that would make Rob Zombie a zen master.
As the gap between Western woman’s biological wiring and her social reconditioning grows wider, so will the rise in her psychological instability and therefore her dependence Big Pharma, sadly. The route taken for America’s addicts and mental health patients is rarely one of holistic therapies, lifestyle changes, and radical self-improvement, but rather a shift from legally prohibited drugs to prescribed pharmaceutical dependency: all part of a $35 billion per year addiction/psychiatry industry.
Rudimentary knowledge of pharmaceuticals and discreet intel gathering from her bathroom cabinet or open purse could be considered tools of necessity. Remember, she became an addict due to a confluence of things like trauma, neglect, and an addictive personality. Those issues don’t go away simply because the primary addiction does.
3. She Has A History Of Sexual Indiscretion Proportionate To Her Drug Use
This is a lady who makes bad choices. A few hardcore recovery girls will confess their Wittenberg door list of junkie spears, surrendered to in search of getting a fix. It’s all in the past! More likely though, she will tell you how her addiction was a solitary issue and fail to mention that she managed to always secure goods from her dealer when the money wasn’t there. Multiply that by number of drugs of choice, places lived, and years of use and you’ll start to see the bigger picture.
Also, addiction replacement is almost guaranteed in many treatment programs where chain smoking and chain fornication become therapy. This of course presents both health concerns and also exacerbates any underlying mental health issues she already has. Bottom-feeding is never a good thing. To thine own self (especially down there) be true.
4. She Is Socially Lost, Unreliable, And Will Detract From Your Status
Imagine the most frustrating aspects of the ten worst girls you’ve ever been with, and I’ll give you a girl in recovery that exemplifies them all. Can’t hold legitimate work? Check. Self-absorbed? Check. Flaky behavior? Check. Health issues? Check. Add to this the likelihood of garish and nonsensical tattoos, carousel proclivity, and a disrespect for men under the guise of feminist self-empowerment, and you’ll get the idea.
5. She Will Likely Relapse And Return To Past Modes Of Operation
Most research is in agreement that recovering addict relapse chances stand between 50 to 90 percent. It’s slightly higher for women than men, with a 30 percent chance at long term success by NIH stats. Her most vulnerable years for addiction will be between 25-29, which loosely coincides with her late peaks for dating, pregnancy, and establishing a career and/or family.
If you do proceed with a woman in recovery, it may go well initially, as she will be eager to please and looking for affirmation. Best-case scenario is she flakes early on or ditches you for a white knight who will support her victimhood and protected person status.
With some girls, the worst case scenarios will be obvious: health issues, court drama, financial problems, stripper past, ex-dealers, Che Guevara tattoos etc. Such warnings would certainly harbinger the abuse, STDs, rape accusations, or mental breakdowns to come.
The scarier scenario is that she evidences few of those things and you, compelled from the depths by some buried evolutionary scarcity response, relent to your hungry beta scavenger and settle in for a long psychodrama with mediocre rewards.
Yes, a functional society should offer a genuine assisted pathway for repenting derelicts to reform and reenter civilization’s embrace. Sadly, our current civilization with its madness, decline, and greed hosts an addiction/psychiatry industry which churns out broken women* not fit for the well-developed man.