Females are the more malleable gender. Whether they crave a strongman type to drill a worldview into them or they soak it in over time and proximity, they will tend to take on the perspective of the man they care about. For this reason, it’s very important how you conduct and express yourself around your partner, because it will affect her more than either of you realize. This is how I inadvertantly turned a trad leaning girl into a thotwife.
I’ve never been the assertive type when it comes to pushing my worldview. I’m an anarcho-capitalist, have been for over half of my life, taking a sharp shift from left to right since my more ignorant, younger years. While I of course have my own views on social issues, I still very much hold on to the (stereo)typical libertarian stance of “live and let live”: you can be as ridiculous as you want with your life choices as long as they’re not pushed on me or affecting me/society at large through one mechanism or another. Keep your degeneracy to yourself, and good luck with that.
Genesis Of A Failed Marriage
Admittedly, I met my wife in a seedy Prague underground club, but in my defense it was through a coworker friend who thought we would be a good match, and immediately I could see she was not just a typical out-of-her-mind girl in one of the many dark corners of the club. She had an innocent sweetness to her, and she wasn’t dressed like most of the others who dwell in these party dungeons.
After all, she had only fairly recently moved to the country from Indonesia, which is of course by all measures much more socially conservative than the Czech Republic, so she hadn’t yet fallen to the degeneracy of your typical Euroslut club chick. She was also rather sheltered by her strict parents, so she was a breath of fresh air, even if I didn’t fully understand why at the time.
That first night of fun turned into a seven-year relationship.
We were living the good life in Prague, which, for those that don’t know, is a city of endless nightlife and degeneracy. For the most part, we lived the trendy expat existence, but my girl was different than the rest of the females in our circle, having not yet been completely corrupted by radical feminism and a seeming hatred of the West (while constantly enjoying the fruits of it). After all, she was a newcomer to Europe’s luxuries, and was extremely appreciative and happy to be in her new home.
I had it good. This chick was a master chef of so many types of cuisines, she liked to keep things nice and tidy without nagging about it, she had a submissive but not-overly-so nature to her, and she appreciated her role as the woman in bed, very down to explore and make up for lost time from her previous, highly restricted life.
We traveled around Europe and had experiences most of our peers in our countries of origin would never know. Only in hindsight do I now see the obvious effect that would have on her very impressionable mind, as over time, she had largely abandoned her former ways, became completely Westernized, and felt a need to project that even more than others due to her non-Western skin. Meanwhile, I sat by and watched it happen, wanting to be the “cool” boyfriend and let her do her thing.
The Beginning Of The End
After those seven years together in the winter wonderland that is the Czech Republic, I was ready to leave that lifestyle and make a dramatic change away from the thumping clubs and trendy bars. I wanted something more substantial, and I knew if we didn’t take the plunge soon it would simply be too late.
I made it clear that I wanted to move and start a new chapter. I proposed. She said yes. We were both extremely nervous about leaving, but I put up a confident front and made the call to head back to my hometown in the southern U.S. for a while to reconnect with my family and get some much-needed sun. I knew such a radical shift to a boring city with my family around would be rough, but I didn’t realize just how far gone she already was.
Our new adventure started off surprisingly well, as if it was just one of our usual yearly trips to see everyone, which she always enjoyed. We got married in an immigration lawyer’s office and then bought a house mostly for investment purposes (we had a two year plan). However, once the honeymoon period of “exciting and new” faded away, panic set in. I wasn’t aware to what extent at the time, but it was clear she was not happy leaving the trendy life for her new role as housewife.
It all came crashing down a mere eight months after arriving in the US, when my Muslim dad and his family came to visit from Iran, staying at our place for way too long. This brought flashbacks of her Indonesian roots she so despised, and just two weeks in, after having a complete meltdown over this new burden, she bolted back to Prague until they left, but at that point I could already see the writing on the wall.
Sure enough, when she came back six weeks later, she announced that she was moving back to Prague.
Just like that, she was back to partying more than ever, leaving me with everything we had established over the previous months. The marriage was no more and she was now free to really be who she wanted to be, or at least so she thought. Several years later, she informed me that she was now seeing the emptiness of it all, but the damage was done. I hadn’t done my duty and instead let her fall into the void.
Where I Went Wrong
Now a stronger and wiser man than my former self, I can look back with brutal honesty to evaluate what I should have done differently. I was a pushover. Even when I didn’t want to hang out with the group, I generally submitted to my wife’s whims when I should have provided her with a better, less destructive alternative.
Become your woman’s world. Make your interests hers, especially as you grow and discover new ideas and realms. Instill your values in her. Mold her into a better person by being firm, confident, and perhaps above all, interesting. Men are the protectors. I saw what was happening with great concern but simply let it be.
Be open and honest about what is and isn’t okay with you, and if she’s not on board, break it off before you waste too much time. Don’t think that a change of environment, or even marriage, can fix everything once the infection has set in.
Let this be a warning to you, gentlemen. While it may seem obvious in hindsight, most of us want to start a new relationship with nothing but fun and crazy times, not realizing that this initial lack of boundaries and social mores will do irreversible damage. We’re blinded by the excitement of the moment, not doing our due diligence to set a solid foundation, and if this isn’t reeled in soon enough, you’re unlikely to get the trad wife you want.