How To Be A Lady: A Contemporary Guide To Common Courtesy is a book written by Candace Simpson-Giles and published in 2001. The book is intended to be a self-help guide of sorts for women to bring back their natural feminine essence, in a world where they are being increasingly masculinized and encouraged to compete with men on a level playing field.
“The roles women play in society today are drastically different than they were twenty-five years ago, and some of the rules have changed. Somewhere along the way, the art of being a lady was lost in the shuffle to become a self-sufficient, straight shooting, aggressive survivor in the world. Some of us lost sight of the rewards that being a lady could bring.” – Candace Simpson-Giles
Even at the turn of the 21st century, Ms. Simpson-Giles was aware that overt feminism was not creating the rainbow-laced utopia that so many people were promised, and this publication was meant to help turn the tide. The book acknowledges that men and women are in fact very different, they should focus more on their core gender strengths, and they should not lose sight of what’s truly important in life beyond a career.
I picked out 15 quotes from the book which I think a lot of young women in the 2010’s are particularly having a lot of problems with. However, there are many more good ones within the whole body of work.
1. “Unless absolutely necessary, a lady does not carry her cellular phone into a restaurant. If she must, she turns it off.”
This was a lot easier to accomplish back in 2001 before smartphones, but nonetheless, a man knows he’s got a potential unicorn (by modern standards) on his hand if his attractive date is truly giving him 100% of her attention, instead of checking on the male thirst tsunami in her Tinder and Bumble box half the time.
2. “A lady respects other people’s time whether at the office or at home.”
Whether it’s “Time Vampires” or “Flakes”, men absolutely despise the nature of women who have a knack of wasting their valuable time. Show men some respect and indicate whether or not you are interested in pursuing a relationship within a reasonable time frame. If you must cancel a date, give as much notice as possible (preferably a day or more) instead of just one hour beforehand.
3. “A lady is mindful of her appearance at all times.”
A woman who voluntarily chooses to dress like street trash, probably has a mind about as trashy. A well dressed lady with a sense of style probably isn’t going to spend her weekends on the hunt for “100 Nazi scalps“.
4. “A lady knows how to make others feel at ease.”
Scowl faces, sarcasm, high decibel speech, profanity, and belligerent behavior are not ladylike behavior. High quality men won’t want to marry them, and their gender won’t always save them from consequences.
5. “A lady never curses in front of others.”
Profanity coming out of the mouths of females is even more unattractive compared to when men do it. For women, it is a clear indication of poor mothering and nurturing skills, and excessive cursing is the forte of degenerate leftists and SJW’s. A real lady can keep her language “X” rated in the sheets, but “PG” in the streets.
6. “When faced with life’s minor setbacks, a lady does not act like a victim.”
A lady does not blame her inability to land that dream job on sexism or the “patriarchy”. She is also wise enough to realize that there is no “gender wage gap”, but instead acknowledges an earnings gap because women disproportionately choose lower-paying professions and often work less hours per week.
Even in a larger setback, like losing the U.S. presidency, a lady does not squarely blame Russia or her vagina for her loss. Instead, she acknowledges that maybe her self-destructive policies and unladylike demeanor played a huge part.
7. “A lady knows that the gym is her opportunity to get in shape. She should be focused on her workout and dressed appropriately so that she is not a distraction to others or even to herself.”
Women should not wear skin-tight or revealing attire to the gym if they do not desire being stared at or hit on. What did she think she was going to invite?
8. “A lady should never ask someone if she looks fat in something.”
If she has to ask, then she probably is. A change in diet and a gym routine should ease her anxieties (see point 7).
9. “A lady uses her turn signals.”
I suspected this was a euphemism for “get off your f___ing phone and pay more attention to the road”. Sound advice for anybody, but women are statistically even more likely to constantly yak into a phone while driving than men.
10. “A lady knows that trends come and go, while true style is timeless”
Cotton candy short blue hair, bull rings, butt-ugly tattoos, and tattered Antifa/SJW rags may get a young woman a few short-lived friends and a low-rent boyfriend now, but natural colored long hair, no-piercing and no-tattoo skin, and some clean and attractive clothes will never get old to both men and women who have any class.
11. “A lady donates the clothing she no longer wears to those less fortunate than she.”
Men find kindness and other nurturing qualities in women very attractive, and donating unwanted clothes to goodwill rather than just tossing them out is no exception. It’s a red flag if a woman purchases clothes with the sole intention of wearing them once before returning them for full money back.
12. “A lady never assumes that somebody else will pick up the tab.”
There is something amiss in a western country where fully emancipated women are purposefully spearheaded into high-paying white collar office jobs, yet still assume that a male date will financially cover every dinner and drink order which comes their way. A lady acknowledges both her liberties and her responsibilities, and is always prepared to pay her fair share towards financial obligations.
13. “A lady avoids sexist and racist terminology”
Women with any kind of class, or love of that “equality” stuff they desire so much, should think twice about calling out a “all white male card game” or accusing someone of “mansplaining” without negative feedback and creating an embarrassing situation for themselves. These female politicians from Minnesota and Australia are not ladies.
14. “A lady does not turn down invitations. She never waits for something better.”
Whether it’s a date with a clean cut masculine man who has his life in order, or an invitation to a fancy dinner party or the ball/opera, women need to understand that their youth, beauty, and fertility are vital to their romantic and social appeal. A lady will understand that one day, when she is somewhere on the wrong side of 30, these invitations will become much more rare, and ultimately come to a grinding halt.
15. “A lady knows that sick children are more important than a deadline at the office.”
A lady knows that having children in general is much more important, and ultimately more satisfying in the course of a lifetime, than any office job in the world.
How To Be A Lady’s analysis on modern female faults is far from perfect (I’m not going to give an “A” to a book which completely omits any mention of “a lady knows how to cook”), but Ms. Simpson-Giles’ heart was in the right place when unleashing these many bite-size pieces of advice to any young woman who bothered to pay attention.
It’s an entertaining and easy-to-digest read for an hour or so, and the author should be commended for her efforts. Bravo, Candace.
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