Roosh Valizadeh

Daryush "Roosh" Valizadeh created ROK in October 2012. You can visit his blog at RooshV.com or follow him on Twitter and Facebook.

I took the bread pill and started making my own bread. This video explains why and how I do it…

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75 Responses

  1. Sgt POG

    I don’t get it why do you take bread pills? Just tear it up and dip it in some hummus you good to go

  3. KansasBred78

    I, for one, love your kBrRaEtAoDm, Roosh. Nice chef-ery, sir. Bang Bakery, 2017?

  4. Libertas Victoria

    Lmao.

    Came here looking for a last minute morale-push for the election and instead found this oddly relevant video.

    I was thinking about buying one of these a couple of days ago and now I’m sold.

    My mother used to have one and really it only got used on the holidays, but cost-factor alone really justifies the purchase. Not to mention everything I’ve ever had that came out of one was phenomenal.

    • DirtyHarold

      Makes to dojo smell heavenly. Plus, put your girl to work making you pizza after bread machine makes the dough.

      • Libertas Victoria

        FUCK yeah!

        Pizzas too damn expensive. DIY for like 5 bucks?!

        • Libertas Victoria

          Well considering the blood price of a pizza and wings order, I’m thrilled at the idea of making my favorite meal for a fraction of the price…

  7. Lou Skunt

    Great post! Baking, cooking, getting back to basics is what it’s all about. Finding the time to do so can sometimes be challenging, but nothing compares to Freshly prepared food! Coming from an Italian family, and having a Chef for a father, I had the good fortune to be exposed to cooking, baking and gardening at an early age. This is truly one of life’s greatest joys!

    • DirtyHarold

      Dude the kitchen is like the epicenter of your existence, it’s where you keep the knives razor sharp and produce nourishment. Take a date into yours and you can seduce at will if ya worth a piss.

  8. Burner Prime

    There’s no reason to apologize for baking bread. History’s greatest bakers were undoubtedly men. Male bakers have been and still dominate the industry. Besides, it’s a survival skill all men kneed (heh) to know. Survivalists and mountain men can bake their own bread. Don’t need a machine though, just a good oven and 300W stand mixer.

    • porcer34

      No reason to apologize for knowing how to cook in general. Baking is just another basic skill in the kitchen. You don’t even necessarily have to be good at baking, but knowing the principles will make you better in the kitchen all around. Even if it’s really not your thing, I’d still suggest do the following at least once in your life: Make pizza dough, make a pie crust from scratch, and make a loaf of bread without a mixer. Just follow the motions of the technique and file it away in the back of your head.

      One of the things I stumbled upon as a young man was that chicks really dig a guy that can cook. That’s sort of the unique go-to advice I offer up when talking to younger guys.

      • Niagara

        “One of the things I stumbled upon as a young man was that chicks really dig a guy that can cook.”

        Since a lot of them can’t it can be a faster way to their panties..in my experience..

        • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

          I find that women like this too. I like inviting a girl over for dinner. I talk to her while I am cooking and her laser eye focus never leaves my hands. Women like watching men do things

        • bem

          The best part is – even if you don’t know what you’re doing and cock it up, you can make it into a Mr. Bean-esque bit for some laughs!

        • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

          True…but remember the rules from the movie the tao of steve (which, aside from the absurd sappy Hollywood ending is a fantastic red pill movie).
          1. Eliminate your desires.
          2. Do something excellent in her presence, thereby proving your sexual worthiness.
          3. Retreat, for as Heidegger said, “We pursue that which retreats from us”.

        • bem

          You are Wise.
          I recently told a nephew “be intelligent, not clever – clever fades”.
          It’s funny – I am borderline-addicted to getting a smile or a chuckle out of a woman, but in recent years I’ve found that (as you say) NOTHING compares to the reaction to “doing something excellent”.
          I learned long ago one can’t get by on straight clowning. Though it remains my instinctive tendency towards all situations, I try to keep it as just one tool in the box.

          (and of course: I said ‘tool’ and ‘box’ huhuhuh.)

        • Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

          Yup. This is why I always do dates in places or with activities that I am good at. A hard to get into restaurant where everyone knows me, a run in the park, a quiet bar where I can chat. I would never take a girl to see a band or a sporting event on a first date. Why bring her somewhere to have her sit and watch some guy who is better than you at something? Do you sing well? Karaoke. Do you play pool well? Pool Hall. Do you cook well? Cook for her. The activity itself doesn’t matter so long as she sees you showing mastery at something.

        • Bollockser

          I’m a better cook than any girl I ever dated. Last summer I hooked back up with a chic I hadnt seen for 6 years, she told me I’m still one of the only dudes who’s ever cooked her dinner, and she distinctly remembers that, and holds me in high regard for it. But, in her case, I still lost out to a homeless rehab guy with a neck tattoo.

  9. DirtyHarold

    Im with you Roosh, Japanese breadmakers can be had for pennies at thrift stores. Brew your own beer and make your own bread with yeast from 18 y/o Hungarian hotties, puts kratom to the gutter.

  10. DirtyHarold

    Read Germs and Steel, then rethink your weak existence and negative view of bread.

  11. The Comte

    I’ve got a lot of memories of using our family’s breadmaker with my brother and slathering the loaves with butter while they were still hot. I think I’ll pick one up after work tomorrow.

      • ConanTheBarbarian

        Some weird ass connections are starting to appear about the guy.

        Hillary has been working for Soros, Trump says he’ll retract NATO american troops from Europe.

        Kind of a shitty situation for us Europeans.
        We hope for the best.

        • Sgt POG

          Looks like you’ll have to pay for your own defense. cut welfare and maybe you can afford it

        • John Sanders

          I would cut everything down. I’m being forced to pay >65% of my income as taxes that are used in laziness/ foreignness/ weirdness subsidies, pro-SJW education and hypothetical wars against whoever they don’t appreciate (Saddam, Kadhafi, Putin? I’d rather have them for tea than any of EU’s politicians).

          And then, 23% of VAT, making all products super expensive, and a new 5% realty tax, so that I regret my investments dearly.
          Burn them! Burn them all alive!!!

    • Morrison

      “How is there nothing about voting, on the eve of such a huge event?”

      Was wondering the same thing. Are we simply biding our time with some Martha Stewart shit? LOL.

  14. ConanTheBarbarian

    Hun: Conan, What is best in life ?

    Conan : Crush your enemies – see them driven before you and hear the lamentation of their women !

    Hun: What about home made bread ?
    Conan: numnumnumnum, graaaah !
    Conan growled at the curious hun while savagely biting a mouth full from his home made Crêpe.

  16. Squarehead

    This is great Roosh. I had one of those bread machines 20 years ago that made round loaves. I made some good stuff, I made some bad stuff. I’ve just ordered a new one so share some recipes.

  17. Hipponax (μητροκοίτης)

    One thumb up for DIY bread. Second thumb up for “bread pill”

    • B1k3_Ch41N ®❻❾®

      The only beef I have with homemade bread is that it goes off too quick.

      • George Tasker

        That’s because it doesn’t have the chemicals that commercial bakers add to delay the onset of mould and fungus.

  18. tout venant

    It’s quite fun to make bread ‘by hand’. Just be sure to have a good flour. And some good yeast. Then you just have to keep some of your initial mix to make some new yeast.
    Making bread is quite easy.
    Making good read is an at.
    My advices.
    Let the dough bead rest for at least few hours.
    Keep some water in a resistant glass in your oven,. It will make the crust softer.

  19. jtdavies

    I find that I get better results with my bread machine by using it to make dough then bake the dough in the oven. I can shape the dough in whatever shape I want and control the crust better.

    • Pitbully

      You don’t know what you are talking about. The majority of the best world’s renowned chefs are male, and they aren’t pussy girly-boys either.

        • Pitbully

          Women aren’t always the best cooks. Maybe she makes a dish you like, but you can make it BETTER. Or maybe she’s out of town for a week? Are you just going to be a lazy lardass and eat out greasy food all week? You aren’t less than a man if you can cook, and you are insecure if that’s the way you think.

        • Jim Johnson

          Got to admit though, women will throw up their hands and whine that things are too hard. They do it with plenty “honey doos” as it is. just don’t let them get away with all of it.

        • spicynujac

          I’d put it slightly differently. Women are almost never the best cooks. The reason married men leave domestic chores to women is because they can often do a “good enough” job. Even my cleaning lady doesn’t clean as well as I do. But I fucking hate cleaning and she does “good enough” and frees up my time to do other things.

          Men are the best cooks. I love cooking. If I was married, and my wife was decent at it, I’d let her cook occasionally, but there’s nothing more rewarding than creating something delicious and healthy from scratch. Food is life. What’s more masculine than that?

        • Jim Johnson

          Well said, 90% of your meals are just there to fill your belly to carry out the day. You don’t need every meal to be a fancy work of art (unless you want to end up looking like a pair of hippos) I like to cook a good meal from time to time, I usually will on a Sunday afternoon if nothing else is going on to give my wife a break.

          However, my wife is home taking care of the kids full time. I come home from work, and I expect her to do her part. Taking over just because she may not do it as well (mine does) is not only making you look like a beta, it isn’t allowing her to fulfill her God given role as wife and mother.

          People like to feel needed. God made man and women different for a reason. We are to compliment each other. Feminism threw a wrench into the works by telling women that they shouldn’t be fulfilled in what they do, that they need to behave like a man. Sorry, but if I wanted to marry a man, I would move to San Francisco.

  22. RedMoonJournal

    Cooking for yourself is invariably cheaper than paying others to do it for you, and you will eliminate most of the weird preservatives and chemicals that are found in processed foods, even bread.

    • spicynujac

      Most breads (like all but one brand at my grocery) have high fructose corn syrup (as well as preservatives I’m sure).

  23. thunderchicken

    bread machine? You cretin. I bake bread with heirloom starter that came across the plains with my ancestors.

  24. Michael_

    Get your own mill and wheat berries to grind and you will then be on the road to bread nirvana. You don’t need a stinking bread machine, just a mill and the necessities. The one I own attaches to a kitchenaid mixer called a mockmill. Works great and I have not bought a loaf of bread in 6 months and am losing weight while eating bread!

  25. Elmer Jones

    I have been using bread machines almost daily for 30 years. Essential equipment for men. Keep a stock of flour and yeast in the house and you always have food. Come home to an empty apartment, toss in the ingredients (takes 5 minutes), in the morning have fresh bread. I toast mine and eat with jelly, honey, or peanut butter. If you have kids a bread machine is a life-saver.

    How many times have you bought fast food garbage or ordered pizza because you have no food at home? The bread machine will pay for itself over and over.

    Some may argue about gluten or fattening but I am thin as a rail. You may have an issue with it but most will not.

    Now when you first get one you will struggle to make a good loaf. This cause many people to give up. Typical problems are too much water and you get an oversized fluffy loaf. Experiment until you get it right. Your regional altitude affects the rise.

    My standard recipe :

    teaspoon yeast
    2 and 1/2 cups white flour
    1/2 cup wheat flour
    1 and 1/4 cup water
    1/4 cup or less olive oil
    small amount of honey

    press “start”

    • Elmer Jones

      One thing I experimented with was protein source for the bread. I made a mash of sweetened mung beans that worked pretty good. Just boil the mung beans in water until they can be turned to mush and use as a spread on toast. In China mung beans are an important protein source and a staple for breakfast foods.

    • Elmer Jones

      Other essential equipment : crock pot, rice cooker, set of quality knives, set of quality cookware, steamer. Avoid the 20-piece cookware set for $50 and get single pieces at $50-100 until you get a good array of tools. This will save you huge money in the long run.

    • spicynujac

      Are you eating bread every day or actually using the bread machine and baking it from scratch every day? I would love a tiny batch I could make just for me. I’m tired of buying big loaves in the store (that taste like crap) and I end up throwing away because I don’t eat that much bread.

      • Elmer Jones

        Sorry did not see your comment until now. I make it almost every day. When I had two sons living with me it was every day. There a three of us now and usually I have toast in the morning and a loaf will last 2-3 days. Also eat it with stew or spaghetti on occaision. You can make smaller loaves but mine are typically 3 cups of flour. I have had bread machines last over a decade of daily use. You can also make dough with it and bake it in your oven. Once you get the hang of it you will rarely buy store bread.

        If you buy flour in bulk at Costco the cost per loaf is very low compared to store-bought.

  26. TXgirl

    Nothing better than fresh baked bread but be warned those bread machines are addicting and if you’re not careful will pack pounds on. Just speaking from experience of having (and loving) a bread machine. I was making different loaves 2-3 times a week and unfortunately sent my then boyfriend into diabetic state with 40 extra pounds :/
    I probably should have slowed down on the baking but it felt good seeing him enjoying food lol.

  27. Pitbully

    Is THIS the best you have to write about, Roosh?

    Why don’t you write something with SUBSTANCE next time? And while you are at it, tell your writers to knock it off with citing their articles with weak sources like The Daily Mail.

  28. spicynujac

    You can use all purpose flour, but I’d recommend bread flour, it has the most gluten protein, 12 to 14%, which gives your bread more structure (compared to say, a cake, which has very little protein and is soft without much structure).

  29. twolf

    WHEAT IS POISON FOR SOME OF US even if you are not Celiac. If you cannot keep a steady weight or at max 20 pounds over you should look into giving up bread before you get metabolic syndrome.

  30. bear

    Years ago my mother taught me how to make bread from scratch. Its not hard to do. It does take time though. The last 5 years Ive sworn off wheat..but for those who haven’t- home made bread is the bomb !

  31. bear

    King Arthur Flour in Norwich VT makes a very high quality flour. Also I believe they are one of the oldest companies still in business in the US.

  32. Alexei F. Karamazov

    Dude good work here, and start planning that garden NOW for next year. If you don’t have a lot of room in the city, try the “Square Foot Garden” method, or think about some kind of tiered setup (or both), otherwise it’s hard to make it pay for itself within a couple years. Thorough planning far in advance will allow you to get the most out of your dirt in 2017. It’s not essential but you know, failing to prepare is preparing to fail.
    For real though…despite the fits & starts along the way, more than anything in my life it was my decision 10 years ago to get into gardening, baking and brewing that put me on the road to manhood and self-sufficiency.

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