Light-hearted introductory acknowledgment designed to re-familiarize the readership with my persona since it’s been a week since I last posted. Brief casual statement to launch content.
Setting the stage in a near-combative way, but not overdoing it; don’t want to turn the readers off yet. Immediate humorous statement giving a hat-tip to the subculture in order to balance out the dickishness of the previous statement. Question or comment that strongly alludes to the title of the post.
Bold statement symbolizing my willingness to “go there.” Anecdotal evidence, conjecture, and personal opinion followed by the promise of scientific evidence to back it up. Preemptive slap at the guys who will disagree with this post for no other reason than they’re the type who could point out 10 things wrong with a newborn baby. Get the article back on track with a supportive statement that ends in a clever restating of the title of the post.
Haters will have already identified a phrase or two to finger-fuck to death in the comments section by now; add statement to piss off aspies too. Nugget of wisdom to remind the majority of the readership that something truly worthwhile is on its way. Supposedly keen insight that’s nothing more than an old Roissy concept from 2009 passed off as my own and retooled to support the title of the post. Restate the problem clearly and boldly.
Blame it all on feminism, fat chicks, Facebook, or manginas. Assert alpha dominance by being a complete dick in a way that’s hard to argue with; no time for hyperbole since this is the one-liner everyone will tweet.
Quote or link to weak scientific evidence even though there are much stronger sources readily available; get more comments. Quick passing mention of those much stronger sources sans citation in an effort to sound intelligent and seem original.
Funny or angry personal story that drives home the main message. Gratuitous mention that ALL AMERICAN WOMEN ARE DIRTY WHORES BITCH SLUT ONLY MARRY ASIAN WOMEN FALSE RAPE DIVORCE CHILD SUPPORT HYYYYYYYYYPERGAMY. Assert everyone’s experience will be the same as mine or else they’re not real men. Insinuate that disagreeing with my outcome lesson means the reader is beta.
Make the same points I already made but in a different way:
Short statement to signify end of list and to set up the final paragraph.
Admonition blended with encouragement. Statement which shows I actually do care. A little too much personal information in an effort to show sincerity – which will eventually require me to change my moniker again. Two or three quick level-headed statements to show I’m logical. Something borderline insane and completely inflammatory to make the comments more interesting. Ending statement which of course includes at least a variation of the title of the post.
Quick proofread while wondering if anyone will get it. Make the graphic and log in to ROK. Copy and paste text; change links to open in new window. Choose a category. Hit submit for review knowing the only guys who will really get it are the guys who already got it.
Post goes live days or weeks later. Forgot I even wrote it. Read through it and wish I had changed certain words. Scroll down to the comments section. Posted 15 minutes ago and somebody already hates it. The rest of my day will revolve around pleasing people at work; but I didn’t please this guy and that makes me feel better.
Over the life of the post, help 23 men and piss off 380,712 fat chicks, feminists, manginas, AMOGs, aspie nerds, and those Christian dudes who are absolutely obsessed with the location and proper handling of other men’s genitalia.
Not a bad return for 3 hours of effort.
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