Elizabeth Holmes, the hope of you-go-girl career hamsters throughout America, hyped as a billionaire and “the next Steve Jobs” after dropping out of college and claiming she had an amazing new way of doing blood tests that the FDA later rejected, recently announced layoffs of almost half her remaining staff, as she continues to milk her New Economy fame and fortune for whatever she can until the tap of free credit that crowned her a billionaire without ever selling or producing anything of value runs dry.

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We’re gonna miss you, Crazy Eyes

ROK covered Holmes and her new uber-cool startup company that was going to, like, totally revolutionize the world and stuff, in prior articles here and here.  What’s shocking is how this black turtleneck wearing Emperors-new-clothing genius is still running this fake business almost a year after providing no workable product. Even after this new round of layoffs, and the closing of her laboratory operations announced on October 5, her company Theranos will still have around 450 employees, all headed by the college dropout but media darling and medical “genius” Holmes.

Danger!

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Warning: Teen dropout medical tests may be hazardous to your health

After starting the company at the age of 19, the establishment moved in quickly to crown her as the next big thing, estimating her company’s worth at $9 billion, so confident that this teenager was going to revolutionize the health care industry with her strong entitled self.

In July of this year, the Center for Medicare and Medicare Services fined and banned Holmes for two years from owning or operating a blood lab, after sending her a letter warning that “deficient practices of the laboratory pose immediate jeopardy to patient health and safety” as the tests put patients at risk of internal bleeding or stroke.  Perhaps before creating medical devices it would be wise to study a bit of medicine, or at least gain an understanding of basic research and scientific procedures and methods.

Dubious background

Holmes is the daughter of Christian R Holmes IV, almost certain US government spook with several foreign government positions including working for USAID in the US, Africa, China, and former member of scamster company Enron.  Director of the U.S. Trade and Development Agency (TDA), Principal Deputy Assistant Secretary of State for Refugee Programs (State/RP), and Acting Director of the USAID Office of U.S. Foreign Disaster Assistance (OFDA). At TDA, he directed a global economic and trade development agency, concentrating on China.  Her mother was a congressional committee staffer.

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Just a coincidence that I always dress in black and named my company after the God of Death.

After founding Theranos, whose name is suspiciously similar to Thanatos, the Greek daemon of death (coincidentally she has used Sympathy for the Devil as her musical introduction when giving speeches), Holmes hired some scientists and researchers, and engaged her family’s connections in order to obtain deals with the US military and Walgreens drug stores.

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She assembled a board of directors that appears slightly odd for a teenager, including three former US cabinet members (Secretary of State Treasury, and Labor), a director of the US Office of Management and Budget, CEO of engineering multinational Bechtel Group, Secretary of Defense Bill Perry, former US Senators Sam Nunn and Bill Frist, and 92 year old National Security Advisor Henry Kissinger.  The firm’s legal council is 74 year old trial lawyer David Boies, one of the most prominent trial lawyers in the nation, famous for government antitrust work, prominent role in the Bush v. Gore election recount decision, and successful advocate for legalizing anal marriage.

Her board seemed more qualified to select the next UN ambassador than run a medical company.  Seems perfectly normal though, right?  Nothing odd or suspicious with a teenager having those kind of world leader level connections, right?

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Raising money for Hillary

She added Commander of the US Central Command and chief of US military operations in the Middle East and Central Asia General James Mattis, who succeeded David Patraeus in 2010, to her board of directors, and soon after her company was miraculously approved to test military troops abroad.

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When asked about what sets her blood tests apart from competitors, she responds with pure feels, saying she “optimizes the chemistry” and “leverages software” but uses the same basic methods as established blood testing centers.  She hired as an enforcer, Sunny Balwani, an older man she met after graduating high school in China who gave her the bang, a man with zero medical industry experience.  (Note: Balwani’s age is unknown but the next-youngest board member is 63)  Balwani would threaten employees who questioned the companies methods or procedures, and employees who spoke publicly about the company were sent threatening legal letters.

Proud, Brave and Stunning Feminist

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Actual screenshot of the feminist firm’s hiring practices

Holmes proudly talks about how she never played with Barbies as a child, and, channeling Kim Jung Un’s miraculous childhood, claims to have invented a C++ software compiler at the age of 9 that she sold to Chinese universities.  She is now 32 years old, wears close cropped hair, often flies alone on a $6.5 million Gulfstream jet, is a vegan, wears a Steve Jobs turtleneck at all times, and drinks a concoction of green vegetables at pre-set hours throughout the day.

She rarely leaves her office, even celebrating birthday parties there with her entourage of adoring coworkers in her 140,000 square foot Palo Alto, California complex.  She couldn’t handle the sight of blood as a child, and one can only imagine that the incessant “You Go Girl!  You can do anything you want!” messages encouraged her to think opening a blood lab was a good idea.  Watch the video above at your own risk.

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Theranos employee. A picture speaks a thousand words.

The company’s website is plastered with feminist faces, and indeed the promotional video offers an interview with several employees, all of whom are women, who praise what a great, empowering roll model Holmes is.

Lessons?

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Is Holmes simply a victim of the silly propagandizing of American girls, encouraging them they can perform far beyond their means?  Is she a nefarious creation of elitists, simply beginning her massive theft and deception at a younger age than normal?  Is this the future of the feminist economy?  How long will it be before Theranos offices are raided and finally shut down?  How much longer is Holmes’ operation going to continue before her pussy pass expires?  Are the workers of Theranos actual women or post-op trannies?  Is Holmes holding out for a position in the Clinton administration?  Keep your eyes on this one, brothers, she’s not done yet.

Don’t Miss: Silicon Valley Darling Elizabeth Holmes Goes From A Net Worth Of $4.5 Billion To Zero