Many guys come to me looking for answers to problems that they have with girls. While these of course vary in their details, inevitably they all point to a much bigger issue: the guy who has sought out help just does not have enough options. Rather than look for quick, silver bullet fixes for apparent situational issues with this or that girl, what the alpha is doing instead is seeking out other opportunities elsewhere.
‘But she hasn’t responded to my text for 24 hours’
I’ve lost count of the number of times guys have asked me what to do in a specific situation like this. Recently I was chatting with my good friend Nick over WhatsApp. Nick had met a cute girl in a bar, chatted her up, enjoyed a quick make-out and then taken her number before leaving. The next morning he sent the girl (let’s call her Alice) a message and she responded, leading to several rounds of flirtatious WhatsApp banter. Then, just as he was about to go in for the kill and ask her to meet up with him she stopped responding. Just like that, the whole interaction was dead in the water.
Puzzled and perturbed by this turn of events, Nick contacted me and asked me what he should do to reignite Alice’s interest and get things back on track. Now, while text game is a thing, and there are techniques you can try to pull back a situation like this, in the end Nick’s problem is a macro one rather than a micro one.
Whatever the Question, Abundance Is Always The Answer
So why did Alice flake on Nick? Who knows—it could be for any of a huge number of reasons, many of them entirely unconnected with Nick. Perhaps Alice actually had a boyfriend or fiancé and was feeling guilty. Perhaps she had been horrendously drunk that night and couldn’t remember what he looked like. Perhaps—and this is the killer—she had already hooked up with someone new who she felt more attracted to than Nick. Or perhaps she had simply lost her phone.
The truth is, in the majority of cases such as this you will never know the woman’s reasoning for sure. Nor should you want to—what do you want, closure? Dude, closure is for girls.
Closure Is For Girls
Here’s the thing gents—the sexual market place is a cold, wild, barren and unfriendly place. When you interact with strangers (as the girls that you meet through pick-up inevitably are) then you run the risk of playing with emotional fire. Remember, everyone is out for what they can get, you included. You want to meet and sleep with the hottest girl that your SMV will afford. But girls have an agenda too. They also want to meet the ‘hottest’ guy that they can get—it’s just in their case the definition of ‘hot’ might expand to encompass things like status, influence, wealth or even ‘bad boy’ indicators.
You may have been in the frame for that hour you spent talking to her and making out with her in the club, but be in no doubt that she has other options, other guys blowing up her phone asking for a date. Now, that’s not to say that a clever piece of ‘text game’—a smart quip or cocky-funny line—could never help in such a situation. It is just possible that, delivered correctly, such a line could indeed prompt her reappraisal of you and make you a contender once more. But realise that the cards are stacked against you and that such a turnaround is unlikely.
It’s a Jungle Out There So Get Hunting
Here’s the thing—what you must recognise is that the modern dating arena is a ruthless place where everyone is out for him or herself. Don’t be fooled by a pleasant half-hour conversation with a girl at a lounge bar, or a make out at a friend’s party. Girls especially tend to act on their feelings in the moment. OK, so when she met you at 2am after she’d drunk three Sambucas you seemed to her like the perfect guy—that doesn’t mean she’s feeling the same way on Tuesday morning at work. Especially after that cute guy on Tinder has started messaging her again, on that model the subway passed her his business card. Life moves on very quickly, especially for hot young girls in their prime.
In truth, the only way you can insulate yourself from the vagaries of the market and ensure that you don’t leave money on the table is by constantly filling your pipeline with potential sexual and romantic prospects. In the sexual marketplace, just like in sales, the only way you can ensure a consistent ‘income’ is by opening new prospects every day. Remember, the more girls you approach, the more opportunities will open up to you. And the more opportunities you have, the better the chance of you having regular sex.
Rather than worrying about the minutiae of an interaction with this or that girl, you want to be in the position where you have so many girls ‘on the go’ on text, WhatsApp, Facebook, Tinder or whatever, that you really couldn’t care less if one or two drop out of the funnel every week or so. And it is only by systematically approaching every day that you will achieve this and sufficiently insulate yourself from today’s sexual marketplace. Of course, once you have a regular girl who you like, or several regular girls, depending on your preference, then—but not until then—will you be in a position to slow down and adjust this strategy.
Read More: Why You Don’t Deserve That Perfect 10