If SJWs Were Comic Book Characters

You are no doubt aware that Social Justice Warriors (SJWs) are turning the comic books of your youth into Marxist propaganda. Thor is now a girl. Marvel has a character that was created specifically to demonize Trump (and, by association, his supporters) called Modaak. The only thing that prevents the SJWs from turning every comic book hero into a transsexual is economics—no one buys degenerate cultural Marxist comics.

But what if money was no object? What if Marvel could create the SJW comic book characters it really wants to create with no thought of losing money? This article takes a look at the kind of comic book characters SJWs would create if they had no limits.

Ideally, I would have provided drawings of each of these new super heroes and villains. Unfortunately, the Muses have not blessed your humble correspondent with the ability to draw or paint so I’ve provided pictures of real-life people who could play these characters in a movie. By the way, EYE BLEACH ALERT. Proceed at your own risk.

Heroines and Heroes

Emperor Sauron

Emperor Sauron is a male so he is not your typical SJW hero. But Sauron is special because he has funded virtually every cultural Marxist cause known to man. Whether it is open borders, felons voting, abortion, defending planned parenthood, or encouraging the Islamification of the West, Emperor Sauron is behind it.

Super powers

• Ungodly levels of wealth.
• Concentrated evil.
• Highly intelligent.
• Complete absence of good.

Weaknesses

• Mortal, we hope.

First Woman President Woman (FWPW)

First Woman President Woman is historic because she is the first woman who wanted to be President. She has spent a lifetime keeping lists of her enemies. The goal of FWPW is to become President so that she can sell political favors to corrupt individuals and amass more wealth than God. To do this, she is willing to completely drop US borders and turn the US into a third world shithole. She will also take your guns away.

Super powers

• Woman.
• Expert in Saul Alinsky societal destruction tactics.
• Pant suits with long jackets that obscure catheters.
• Extraordinarily vicious and vindictive. Her enemies die mysterious deaths.
• Completely devoid of mercy or ethics.
• She meticulously tracks all her enemies.
• Unbelievably wealthy. Her “charity” takes millions of dollars of “donations” from backwards nations and corrupt individuals in exchange for political favors.
• The Media is completely in the tank for FWPW and will viciously attack anyone who stands in the way of her quest to turn the U.S. into the next Brazil.
• Favored daughter of Emperor Sauron.

Weaknesses

• Cankles.
• Incontinent so requires a catheter.
• Prone to seizures.
• Falls frequently.
• Low energy.
• Unable to stand for extended periods without a stool.
• Being opposed by a racist, anti-Semitic, shadowy internet Nazi organization known as the alt-right.
• Her sidekick has a raging sex addiction.

Degenerate Sex Woman (DSW)

The mission of Degenerate Sex Woman is to kill off any particle of traditional femininity that remained after the onslaught of the HBO show Sex and the City. She does this through a combination of popular cable television shows, books, social media, and politically liberal social causes.

Super powers

• Portray the vilest degenerate sex acts as normal and healthy.
• Portray grotesquely out of shape bodies as normal and healthy.
• Portray degenerate, slovenly lifestyle as normal and healthy.
• Similar to Medusa, but instead of turning men to stone, her visage is able to destroy men’s ability to reproduce.

Weaknesses

• Can be stopped with a large pizza.

Empowered Beautiful Black Woman

Empowered Beautiful Black Woman (EBBW) is beautiful. If you disagree, you are a racist.

Super powers

• Comic genius. Or so I am told.
• Beautiful. If you disagree, your social media accounts will be banned.

Weaknesses

• Nobody went to see the feminist ripoff of Ghostbusters that she starred in.

Super Cuck Man

Super Cuck is a true conservative. He will fight heroically to preserve the status quo of ten years ago. The mission of Super Cuck is to sit in his watching chair as western civilization is destroyed. His primary weapon is to call his enemies racists.

Super Cuck Man receives his livelihood from wealthy donors. He doesn’t realize that he is just being used by the elites to provide the appearance of a real opposition. These wealthy donors despise Super Cuck Man, but find him to be a useful idiot.

Super powers

• None

Weaknesses

• His whole life is nothing but weakness.

Peaceful Muslim Man

Peaceful Muslim Man is for peace. Islam is peace. Implement Islam and there will be peace. Submit and there will be peace.

SJWs think that Peaceful Muslim Man is their staunch ally, but as soon as he has the upper hand, he will slit their infidel throats.

Super powers

• Skilled at bomb making, knife fighting, driving trucks over toddlers, flying planes into buildings, raping.
• No matter what he does, it is not in the name of Islam. Even if he says it is.

Weaknesses

• Would be removed in an instant if Western men had any balls.

Villains

There is only one real villain in the SJW universe…

Toxic Masculinity Man

Toxic Masculinity Man (TMM) is the arch villain of the SJW comic book universe. TMM lifts weights and eats meat. He knows how to defend himself. He is physically fit and has a body fat percentage that hovers between 10 and 15%. He has high testosterone levels. He reads Return Of Kings. He has traditional values.

The SJW pantheon fears Toxic Masculinity Man most of all. To stop him, they use many forms of attack:

• Distractions: sportsball, movies, video games
• Financial and spiritual drain: porn, consumerism
• Physical attacks: High carb foods, corporate food, chaining TMM to a cubicle.

Super powers

• Impervious to SJW programming.
• Does not allow thirst to turn him into a white knight or a beta orbiter.
• Able to focus on his mission.
• Able to father strong sons and virtuous daughters.
• Born to lead.
• Decisive.
• Strong problem solving skills.
• Ability to think independently. Unplugged from the Matrix.

Weaknesses

• TMM has a tendency to overestimate the power of SJW forces.
• Tendency to being passive.

Conclusion

These are only a few of the super heroines and super heroes of the SJW universe. I am sure that readers will be able to provide additional ones. And if we are lucky, we might even have an artist lend us his services.

Read More: How Working At Comic-Con Showed Me That America Is A Nation Of Cucks