American Women Are Deep Thinkers

In the year 2000, Mel Gibson came out with one of those predictable romcom movies called What Women Want.  As described by IMDB:

Nick, a somewhat chauvinistic advertising exec hot shot, has his life turned haywire when a fluke accident enables him to hear what women think.

I know what you are thinking…wouldn’t it be absolutely wonderful to have this power?  To have a window into the female mind and know what they are thinking day in and day out?  What goes through these intricate heads while at work, at home, or at the hairdresser believing their bitchiest closest friends who told them they’d look cute with short hair?  Well you’re in luck.  I found the portal to the inside, the holy grail.  I now know what goes through these snowflakes’ heads.  And before you ask me — yes this is real.

Welcome To The Purse Forum

First the disclaimer.  There are actually some decent and useful threads in here.  However, they are so outweighed and overshadowed by the utter idiocy, nonsense and futility of the remainder of the threads that despite my knowledge of the sometimes simplistic nature of Western women, I still am left confused, shocked and perhaps slightly speechless.  And now without further ado some of the better ones I came across:

Where are you right now? Over 8,000 posts of girls telling us where they are right at that moment. Surprise! Most are at home or at work.  User frick&frack, who averages 20k posts a year likes to let her internet audience know where she is twice a day, which is (shockingly) usually at home.

What are you looking at? Before you click, take a second and think what one looks at when typing a response on a forum.  If you guessed what one would expect someone to be looking at when typing a response on a forum…their computer, laptop, iphone or whatever other medium they are using to retort — well you are right.  Perhaps in a nature forum, or an astronomy discussion this may be informative.  But to the women of Purse Forum, there is no such thing as the obvious.  This unbelievably useless thread has over 4,000 posts.

Don’t bump this thread #4!  Ah, what seems to be the most popular thread on the forum. This thread alone has over 13,000 replies. I guess it’s true that you tell a girl to do one thing and she does another. They really know how to break those rules! After four threads on this lovely topic surely they find it no longer entertaining. No way there is…

Don’t bump this thread #5! Damn, I was wrong! With the endless highs and lows, the unbridled enthusiasm of not knowing whether the thread may or may not be bumped again, the girls couldn’t resist. DBTT #5 is climbing the charts folks with nearly 10,000 plus posts and counting.

What can you hear right now? The less exciting sibling of such classics as “where are you right now,” and “what are you looking at right now” comes this gem of a thread. 5,600 posts.

Hearing, continued.Thought it was over? Think again. More girls talking about what they are hearing at that very moment. Finally, your inquisitive minds can rest with another 8,100 replies. In case you are wondering, it’s usually the a/c or their dogs barking.

Type 5 Letters Without Looking. Yes, this is an actual thread. At least someone had the decency to end it…after 5,600 fucking posts.

What time is it? Of all the threads on here, this has to be the winner.  Ever in that horrible situation where you are without means to tell what time it is, and your only source of information is the Purse Forum?  Then maybe you should visit this thread.  Come here and users like Sweetpea will notify everyone of what time it is repeatedly throughout the day.  I would ask the obvious, which is who cares?  But apparently enough girls do to create over 10,000 posts about the present time.  Seriously.  Eventually, the thread was “archived due to length.”

I’d write a conclusion, but I honestly think this speaks for itself.

Read Next: How Women Become Worthless