If you want to successfully attract beautiful women, either for short-term pleasure or long-term, serious relationships, then you must be prepared to take action in spite of how you are feeling. Failure to act is not masculine and will not serve you. Commit today to acting decisively in going for what you want today.
Perhaps you have seen a cute girl in line at your local coffee shop. Maybe a couple of hotties are buying drinks at the bar. In such circumstances it is very easy to make excuses for not approaching, such as “I’m too tired right now,” “I don’t have the energy after work,” or “I’m feeling a little unconfident today.” Scratch these feeble witterings from your mind immediately. They will not serve you. Instead, make a commitment to yourself to take action when you see a girl you like regardless of how you feel.
The Myth Of State
In the pick-up community there is a concept of “state.” You will most probably have experienced state. Imagine you are in a bar or club. You talk to your friends, maybe have a few beers, and start to feel lightness, confidence, even a little bit of bravado.
Perhaps started to chat to people you don’t know, asked them how their night is. After a while, you start to feel an almost uncanny ability to speak to anyone and everyone. It is as if you are propelled by some mysterious social energy, protected by a powerful forcefield from shyness or embarrassment.
Now, don’t get me wrong. State, or social momentum, is real and it will serve you. There are many times I’ve been out, hit a wave of state, and, in my mood of heightened confidence, gone on to attract a cute girl. When you go out, it is definitely worth trying exercises like talking to everyone you run in to (shop assistant, Uber driver, coat check guy etc.) before that first girl to heighten your mood. That way, when you’re face-to-face with a hottie you will come over as calm and socially adept. But you shouldn’t rely on it.
Why Relying On State Is Counterproductive
The most important aspect of game (and of any endeavour from business, to writing a novel, to learning to play the cello) is action. The difficulty with relying on state is that it gives the player an easy excuse not to act. “I could have approached her, but I wasn’t in state.” “I’m just not feeling it tonight, man – I’ll pass on talking to her and have another drink instead.” Let’s be clear – if your goal is to get good with girls, then this sort of thinking will get you nowhere. In fact, it will be worse than that – it will set you back, because it is only by taking consistent action and learning from your mistakes that you will improve your results.
Resolve To Take Action Regularly However You Are Feeling
The British painter Francis Bacon led a famously debauched life in 1960s London, getting drunk most nights in Soho’s bars and restaurants and spending most of his money in casinos. Despite this, he would get up early every morning to paint. Whereas many men would crumble in the face of a hangover, Bacon positively reveled in them, saying that they improved his work. Through this commitment to action Bacon became one of the most revered British painters of modern times, with his works now regularly sold for record-breaking amounts in galleries all round the world.
If you want to get good at something, you have to commit to taking action in spite of how you are feeling, for it is only consistent action taken over time that will yield solid results. This is as true for meeting girls as it is for painting or making a fortune as an entrepreneur.
A Mediocre Approach Is Better Than No Approach
As I say in my book The Seven Laws of Seduction, a mediocre or even poor approach is better than no approach at all. We’ve all heard the expression “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take,” but how many of us apply this in our lives on a daily basis?
The truth is that when most men walk up to a girl they are looking for one of two things – her phone number, to contact her for a date another time, or a same-night lay. While the latter happens often enough, in the majority of cases you will be hoping for a phone number, particularly if you are doing day game. Now, the simple truth is, you don’t need the poise of Jon Hamm or the swagger of Christian Bale to get a girl’s number. What you do need to do is ensure that you are in front of her and asking her for it. These are very simple steps that anyone can take.
The truth is that game is unpredictable anyway. You might be in the best mood ever (your team just won or you got a promotion at work), walk up to a girl full of elation and still get blown out. Or you might be feeling a little shy and introverted, walk up and find she really likes you. The only way you’re going to know for sure is by taking the action.
The fastest pull I ever achieved was with a girl I met very late at night walking down the street in London. I was tired, had work the next day and was “in my head” thinking about a big meeting I had to prepare for. No matter – I saw the girl, she was cute, and so I put everything out of my mind and approached. I just went up, introduced myself and said she was cute. No fancy lines, no sparkling with, no high-energy bravado. That girl ended up coming home with me.
Just Do It
The expression “fortune favours the brave” means just that. It does not mean “fortune favours the brave and also in a great mood with loads of energy and confidence that day.” In the end action trumps everything, and consistent action taken over time will get you results, regardless of how you feel.
So next time you see a cute girl, don’t worry about how you are feeling, just be in the moment and go up and talk to her. You never know what might happen. One thing is certain, though – if you don’t talk to her then you have 0% chance of bringing her into your life.
Read More: How to Be Seen By Women As An Alpha Male