First, let me start off by saying that I’m not a PUA who’s trying to sell products, I wasn’t commissioned to write this specific piece, and I’m also not a “pussy beggar” or a “Tradcon” (far from it, in fact). I have nothing against MGTOW and quite frankly find any and all in-fighting among the manosphere groups deplorable.
I do, however, feel compelled to address the criticisms of and from the MGTOW sphere in an attempt to bridge misunderstandings. While I’m not as critical of MGTOW as the others who dismiss the whole movement as a congregation of virgin losers, I do feel that a large segment of its members are lost. Instead of going their own way to live a fulfilling life, they’re using the movement as a crutch to justify and validate their lack of zest for life. They’re essentially selling themselves short.
For the purpose of this article, I’ll generalize the movement into two groups: Group A and Group B. Group A are the active and well-adjusted men who simply reject the high-risk, state-sanctioned marriage and other social contracts offered to men. These are men who genuinely have better things to focus on than chasing women all the time or be a utility to the system. The Group B, for whom this article is directed to, are the ones who have seemingly withdrawn not just from society, but life itself. This is the group that pretends to be the A group, but are actually men who just gave up and are creating rationalizations for it.
The “Shaming” Hysteria
To start off, the B group’s incessant criticism of men’s drive towards self-improvement is getting tiresome.
For example, I published an article last year to share my own experience of overcoming video game addiction and finding other meaningful activities to do. All I wanted to do was to give advice to other men who might be in the same situation I had been in so that they can get ideas on new things to experience in life. And what happened? In a rather predictable fashion, I was accused of “shaming” men by the MGTOW members who didn’t even read the article.
This is the typical knee-jerk response from the B group of MGTOW who have fallen to a mode of complacency—and it doesn’t end there. Everything for them is a “shame” tactic. Want to be in a happy relationship with a woman? Pussy worshiper. Offering information on self-improvement? Scam to sell products. Free tips on how to live the life you want? More shaming tactics.
People who make these sort of criticisms leave no room for a possibility of a healthy relationship or life. According to the more bitter adherents of MGTOW, even if a man is in an intimate relationship with a decent woman on his terms, he is still a slave to pussy who has relinquished his freedom (but somehow dedicating time, money, and effort to gain validation from video games isn’t). This is the sort of attitude you would expect from a hater who is jealous of another man’s success, which is why many men feel repellent to MGTOW as a whole.
The blunt truth is this: men absolutely hate seeing weakness in other men. This is not some conspiracy to “shame” men into doing something they’re not supposed to like, it’s a fact of human nature. We men have an innate awareness of how infectious weakness can be, and guess what? The MGTOW community reeks of it. Those in the A category may have legitimate reasons to deny this, but it’s the B group that is swelling in numbers and defining the movement as a whole. If you get just one point out of this article, let that be it.
I’ve also written an article listing the seven deadly sins of manhood (which was also criticized by the MGTOW readers because it supposedly robs men of being able to play victims). If you read the article, you’ll see that the entire B group has all seven sins checked off while being utterly unwilling to fix them due to their anti-shame rationalization. The movement has gone to a point where even helping yourself is somehow seen as a sinister effort to turn you into a drone.
As another example of the self-pitying victim-mentality some of these men have dug themselves into, I’ve seen one commenter on this very site (with a MGTOW logo for his avatar) complaining that simply striking up a conversation with a woman will automatically land him in jail and how it was all was hopeless for him. That sort of distorted and pessimistic outlook on life is exactly the kind of negativity that men hate. Again, that’s not the same thing as shaming.
It’s one thing to face obstacles and experience set-backs—men are allowed to feel dejected when shit happens. Other men will help you and support you as long as you yourself are willing to make the effort to stand up again and fight. But giving up before you even get started? No, we will not accept that. We men loathe defeatists and are repulsed by them, and rightfully so.
Going your own way towards what?
Now, if the MGTOW mission is true, its members wouldn’t even bother identifying themselves as one. Normally, when a man goes his own way, he doesn’t feel the need to advertise it to the world. (I know because individuals close to me have done just that without feeling the need to identify themselves as “Going His Own Way”). He just goes about doing what gives meaning to his life without concern for other people. But by labeling yourself as a member and going as far as accusing men’s self-improvement articles of “shaming,” the group B members of MGTOW are openly admitting that they’re secretly ashamed of having surrendered. They hate things that compel them to take action because it’s a reminder that they’re not living a meaningful life.
MGTOW philosophy would make sense if these men were leaving the society to start their own way of life, but almost all of them still work, they still pay their taxes, and they still operate within the society they’re supposedly refusing to contribute to. So, in the end, the B group of the MGTOW is not rejecting slavery from gynocracy as they claim; instead, they want to enslave themselves to mind-numbing entertainment and live a life of complacency with minimal effort and zero risk-taking. They may convince themselves that they’re just being “realistic” and doing what is best for themselves, but it’s clear that—for the B group at least—it’s all just rationalization for their learned helplessness.
Last, the MGTOW community also proclaims the likes of Issac Newton and Nikola Tesla as role-models who have rejected women in pursuit of higher meaning. However, the the whole of the B group is not engaging in scientific discoveries or advancing the human race in any way. No, not even. Instead, what they’re doing with their supposed independence is playing video games and wasting time online complaining and spewing their bitterness. Although anger is a legitimate emotion to be felt when you you’ve been lied to about the nature of sex relations all your life, it can’t be your default mode of existence. If you’re going to build an identity, you must base it around creating and striving, not around opposition and rejection.
To conclude, my points are:
- Not all self-improvement tips are attempts to shame you.
- Men loathe signs of weakness and defeatism; their derision is not an attempt to control your life or sell you stuff.
- Complete withdrawal isn’t necessarily a good thing and it shouldn’t be seen as the only possible option for men.
- Without drive, purpose, and direction, men of MGTOW will go nowhere.
- The Group B are taking over the movement and they’re not doing themselves or the movement any favor.
If you can’t even take a light criticism and think this is just another effort at shaming, I won’t do anything more. It’s your life and I don’t lose anything. I’ll just say that when you become trapped in your own mind without experiencing the world, it’s very easy to get caught in a loop of complacency and get cozy with it. You’ll convince yourself that you’re right and anything that suggests a different outlook or possibilities will be seen as a threat to your comfort zone. You might even convince yourself that you’re happy when you’re not. I know all this because I’ve been there.
Being single and unsuccessful (assuming that’s the issue for you) in itself is nothing to be ashamed of, most of us have all been there at least one point in our lives. But claiming the grapes are sour and saying you’re the one rejecting women and society without doing anything for self-improvement is something you should be ashamed of: you’re letting yourself down.
So, go your own way and take charge of your life if you must, but just make sure you’re actually using the opportunity to do something for yourself—not for anyone else, but for your own sake.
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