Over the past few weeks I have written extensively about the art of day game—that is, approaching and attracting women during the day, far away from the bars and clubs where chodes frequently try their luck and fail. One considerable benefit of day game is that it offers a relatively even playing field in that a guy can approach a beautiful girl going about her business without having to pay a cover charge, buy expensive drinks or deal with cock blocks and other nonsense.
Another great thing about day game is that it allows the canny player the opportunity to take girls on mini “dates” there and then without having to go through the rigamarole of texting to set up the meet. Learning to initiate instant dates is a vital day game skill: once mastered, it will enable you to build up sufficient rapport to move rapidly forward through the seduction process.
What Is An Instant Date?
An instant date is what is says on the tin—it’s when you meet a girl and take her on a “date” there and then. Simple, right? Yes, but as with many concepts related to meeting women, it can at first be counter-intuitive for men. We have been socially conditioned to assume that the “right” procedure is an exchange of contact details and then a parting of ways, followed by the arrangement of a date over text or social media some time later. Instant dates fly in the face of this, and can seem like an intimidating prospect, or even an impossibility, before you try it out for yourself.
Of course, most of the time you will be taking girls’ phone numbers and contacting them by text later—this is how probably 80% of daytime pulls happen. After all, if you meet a girl on the train in the morning before work then you probably won’t have the luxury of being able to go for coffee with her there and then. But if the circumstances and vibe are right then an instant date could really help you to move things to the next level.
The Benefits And Pitfalls Of Instant Dates
Say you use the tips in Roosh’s book Day Bang to open a cute girl in the street. After having asked her where the pet shop is, rambled for a while and taken care to drop in intriguing big and small bait, then hopefully she will have relaxed, become receptive to talking to you and begun to show signs of interest. At this point you could run Galnuc, take her phone number, and walk on.
Another option is to take her on an instant date, perhaps for a coffee at a nearby cafe. In my experience, the benefit of doing this is simple—it will help to solidify the encounter in the girls mind, making it more “real.” Make no mistake, guys can and do get laid from fizzy, two minute encounters on the street where telephone numbers are exchanged and contact is resumed later. But the danger here is that after the “high” of being approached has subsided for the girl, she will realize that actually she knows very little about the guy she has just entrusted with her cellphone number. This can trigger skepticism (“He’s probably a player who does this all the time”) or even fear (“he’s a complete stranger”), making it unlikely that she will respond when you contact her.
A well-executed instant date can alleviate these fears. Talking to her for longer also allows you to show more of your personality and to make a stronger impression. Also, given how unusual instant dates are, it will also communicate confidence and social savvy.
However, instant dates are not without their pitfalls. If you are not a good conversationalist then there’s a danger that the instant date could fall flat as you run out of stream, making things awkward. There is also something to be said for the archetype of the “sexy stranger” who sweeps in, obtains her phone number and then disappears. If you fail to maintain some mystery and attraction over your latte then you may find yourself being dumped in the friends box. After all, rapport is a tricky part of seduction—you need a bit, enough to ensure she knows you’re not a serial killer and that you “get on”, at least superficially. But too much rapport before attraction is confirmed merely leads to tepid feelings of friendship.
How To Initiate An Instant Date
Getting a girl to go on an instant date with you is actually not that difficult, provided your approach and chat has gone well and she doesn’t have to be somewhere in the next half hour or so.
Hopefully you will have internalised and followed Roosh’s advice from Day Bang, and so now you have a girl standing in front of you who likes you. At this point you’re ready to pull an instant date. Here’s how you do it. First of all, you should always remember to put in a false time constraint up front—after all, you don’t want her to think that you may intend to monopolize her whole day at this stage. I usually say something like this:
“Listen, I’ve only got twenty minutes before my next meeting…”[That way it sounds casual and not too binding.]
“…But I was going to grab a coffee at Barista Heaven down the street. You should come.”
The idea is to make the proposition sound very casual, but at the same time you should ensure you sound gently commanding. What I mean is, better to say “you should come” or “come with me” rather than asking her with a weak “would you like to come with me.”
If you can make the instant date sound off the cuff and fun, but ensure that you are seen as leading the interaction rather than begging for a favour then you’ll see more successes.
What To Do On An Instant Date
Where should you take her for an instant date? Well, for me coffee shops tend to be the default. While I would never take a girl on a “proper” date to a coffee shop, as it is always beneficial to go somewhere that serves alcohol to help lubricate things, in the daytime you have to recognise that suggesting an alcoholic drink may not be so readily accepted. I wouldn’t go for food—you then get into the issue of who pays, and some guys are messy eaters, and it won’t help your cause if you are too.
Once you’re in the venue, continue to chat informally without grilling her or asking too many “interview”-style questions. Talk about yourself, your interests and projects, but take care not to do so in a boastful way. You should aim to make her feel comfortable but at the same time you should try to retain a little mystery or edge. If you like, drop in very mild teases now and again (NOT so-called “negs”, but humorous, jokey comments) to show that you are an interesting guy with your own mind.
At the end of twenty minutes (or whatever time limit you set), look at your watch and tell her that you have to go now. Don’t let her be the first one to leave—ideally, you want to go slightly early so she’s left wanting more. Don’t tell her you’ll message her later, or make elaborate plans for the next date—leave her wondering when you’ll next be in touch, so when you do message she’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Making An Instant Date A Same-Day Lay
Occasionally, an instant date can turn into a same-day lay. This very much depends on the type of girl she is, the circumstances, how attracted she is and so on. There’s no single rule to tell if things are heading in that direction as there are so many variables, but if you sense a girl you’ve met that day through a cold approach may be down to take things further, then don’t make the mistake of bailing too early and losing an opportunity that may not arise again.
In a situation that looks promising it’s worth changing venues a few times, or going for a walk—don’t stay in the same place all day. If it’s later on in the day then at this point you can suggest an alcoholic drink. What you’re really aiming for is to bounce her back to your place—and of course there are logistics here in terms of where you live and so on. The best way of accomplishing this manoeuvre is to say something like “There’s this great movie on my computer you’ll really love—come over for a bit and we’ll watch it.” Again, the trick is to lead rather than to ask—doing so will give you an air of confidence that she will find attractive, even if for whatever reason she can’t come back with you on that occasion.
Roosh has some great tips on how to develop your day game in his classic book Day Bang, home of the “elderly chat” strategy and the now infamous “pet shop” line. Day Bang, which I have referenced throughout my day game series, is a 201-page book that solely focuses on approaching women during the day. Using dozens of examples, it teaches you how to meet girls in common daytime venues like the coffee shop, retail store, street, bookstore, and grocery store, among others. It’s available on paperback, Kindle, or ebook. Click here to learn more about Roosh’s book.