Poor Jeb Bush. At the beginning of this campaign, he was ready to take the GOP’s reins, wash out the bad taste left by his brother’s presidency, and save America from the menace of Hillary Clinton. Much like John McCain in 2008 and Mitt Romney in 2012, he assumed he’d knock out his conservative challengers easily, allowing the Republicans to present an “electable” face to the voting public. Then that big jerk Donald Trump came out of nowhere and sent Jeb’s poll numbers straight into the abyss.
Jeb Bush was quite literally the chosen candidate of the GOP establishment. Much in the same way that the DNC tried to rig their nomination to ensure Hillary’s victory, the structure of the Republican nomination was engineered to elect Jeb Bush. By recruiting joke candidates such as Lindsey Graham with strong support in individual primaries to split the anti-Jeb vote, Jeb would be able to win primaries and caucuses with as little as 25% support. Unfortunately for the GOP’s power brokers, Trump’s entry into the race completely ruined their plan.
I attended a Jeb Bush Countdown to Caucus rally in Sioux City on Friday afternoon, mainly because Jeb was the last major candidate I needed to cover, and the experience was incredibly depressing. Even if the Donald hadn’t completely smoked the GOP’s best-laid plans, Jeb would have zero chance of winning the general election. Everything about his campaign reeks of death and hopelessness.
Nursing Home Residents For Jeb
The first thing I noticed about the Jeb Bush rally was how empty it was. I arrived around 3pm, when the doors were scheduled to open, and there were less than 20 people there, including the volunteers. Not only that, I was the only attendee who didn’t look like I lived in a convalescent home. While the crowd did get a little bigger by the time Jeb was scheduled to speak, the only people close to my age were a toddler and an autistic kid who looked like a tranny version of Timmy from South Park.
Jeb showed up at 4:15, his presence sucking out what little energy was in the room like a golf ball through a garden hose. As overused as the “cuckservative” insult can get, it describes Jeb to a tee. His shoulders are constantly hunched up—probably because George W used to beat the stuffing out of him when they were kids—his delivery is lethargic, and his constant grinning makes him look try-hard. You can watch my recording of Jeb’s speech below:
Jeb Bush also has a remarkable inability to handle disruptions in the crowd. As he spoke, the tranny Timmy lookalike kept bawling and shrieking, throwing him off-balance. After the speech concluded and he started taking questions, Jeb had a minor freakout when one guy started asking questions about “net neutrality” and how a stalker had been impersonating him on Facebook and harassing his kids. I’d suggest Jeb take Adderall for his low energy if it weren’t for the fact that it might give him a heart attack.
These issues likely stem from the fact that Jeb Bush was clearly the bullied, resentful, nerdy spawn of the Bush clan. In contrast to the cocky, confident Dubya, Jeb has spent his entire life playing it safe and living in his brother’s shadow. His attempts at rebellion, such as his marriage to Columba Bush, are a joke. As the scion of one of America’s major political families, Jeb could have married any woman he wanted, and he chose an Aztec midget.
The central problem I noticed with Jeb’s speech (beyond his logy, defeated demeanor) was that he couldn’t give a compelling reason for anyone to vote for him. George H.W. Bush’s appeal was that he was the closest thing voters would get to a third term for Ronald Reagan, while George W. Bush marshaled evangelical Christian voters, angry after eight years of Bill Clinton’s degeneracy. Jeb lacks any kind of hook beyond his questionable record as Florida’s governor. Even his ostensible supporters at the rally looked like they were only there because they had nothing better to do.
How To Ruin A Political Dynasty In Three Generations
The Bush clan has always been America’s equivalent of the Hapsburgs, changing ideology, religion and even ethnicity in their quest for power. Prescott Bush, the dynasty’s patriarch, was a liberal senator from Connecticut who aligned himself with Nelson Rockefeller; George H.W. attached himself like a remora to Reagan after flaming out in the 1980 presidential primary; Dubya hired a voice coach and bought a ranch so he could pretend to be a Christian hick from Texas.
Unfortunately, Jeb Bush is the worst possible man to carry the Bush family’s torch. Beyond the gargantuan amounts of baggage that the Bush name has accumulated, Jeb is temperamentally better suited to run for the school board then for president. The twin themes of this year’s election are nationalism and economic ruin, which both Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders have picked up on, explaining their grassroots success. The closest thing Jeb has to run on is a nostalgia for the Dubya years that doesn’t exist.
Despite his flagging poll numbers (indeed, he’s dangerously close to being excluded from televised debates) and lack of energy, don’t expect Jeb Bush to quit the race anytime soon. The GOP establishment and their Wall Street masters have a lot of money riding on Jeb, and they want a return on their investment. If they can’t get the result they engineered for the primary nomination, expect them to pull shenanigans to get their man into the White House.
Read More: How To Build A Dynasty