When a man is sexually or romantically interested in a women, it is absolutely imperative that he is clear in his intent and that he communicates this to her, either overtly or covertly. If he fails to do so, the risk is that he will end up in friend zone hell, or at the very least will have to endure a lot of time-wasting before most likely walking away with nothing.
The good news, though, is that by being clear in your intent you can filter out time-wasting women, push things forward with those who are more receptive, and avoid awkward situations where the girl thinks that you just want to be friends when actually you want something more.
What Is Clarity of Intent?
What do I mean by clarity of intent? Simply that when you approach a woman that you are interested in, you must be 100% certain that she knows you are interested, rather than just stopping her for a nice friendly chat or to ask for directions.
A lot of guys get over the initial fear of the approach and become comfortable talking to girls. But these conversations fail to turn into phone numbers, and the phone numbers they do obtain fail to turn into sex or relationships. The reason for this? Because the guy didn’t have the balls to really put himself on the line and take a damn risk.
Rejection can be tough to handle for anyone, especially a beginner at game. But you must be prepared to be rejected if you want to meet women, either for relationships or for something more temporary.
Men who do not exude clarity of intent are almost always men who secretly fear rejection. But think about it this way. If you’re not having sex with her after you’ve approached and perhaps met up with her a couple of times, then she’s rejected you anyway. The only difference is that the rejection was more polite and spread out over a longer time period. So if you’re going to get blown out then why not get that rejection early? That way there’s less time wasted on either side, and you can both g et on with your respective lives.
A great many men pride themselves on being honest, but how many of them are genuinely honest in their interactions with women? Actually, I’d bet in most cases the most honest thing you can say to a girl is “I want to have sex with you, will you come back to my place?”
Social conditioning has falsely inculcated a view that human courtship needs to be a long affair, drawn out over several dates, that incorporates a lot of “getting to know you” and swapping opinions on books and bands and gourmet burger recipes. While this is a view of courtship that largely benefits women, men too have been hoodwinked into thinking that this sort of pattern is somehow more authentic, real, and yes, “honest.”
This is simply not true. In most cases, the way for a man to be honest is to express exactly what he’s feeling in relation to a woman and let the chips fall where they may.
Direct Or Indirect Game?
You may think that this relates directly to the age-old argument of direct versus indirect game, but that’s not quite the case.
For those who don’t know, direct game is going up to a girl (usually the approach will be cold) and telling her that you think she is hot and that you’d like to take her out. Indirect game is finding some sort of pretext to talk to her, like asking for directions, or where a certain landmark is, before transitioning the conversation to the personal.
To be clear, both direct and indirect game can work equally well—it depends very much on the situation. It would, for example, be inadvisable to go in full-guns-blazing direct with a girl sitting next to you right at the start of a long, transatlantic flight. But equally, if you see a cute girl and you have two minutes to talk to her before catching a train, you’d be better served by cutting your losses and going direct.
My point here, though, is that whichever method you choose, you must ensure that the girl knows that you are hitting on her. There is no value in getting her phone number and leaving jubilantly while she believes that she has simply met a new friend.
She may answer your calls; she may meet up with you. But when you introduce your D into the conversation and she’s not expecting it, it will be beyond awkward.
So how do you ask directions to the train station while showing clarity of sexual intent? Well, once you get the hang of it, it’s easy. You have to develop edge. You have to learn to carry yourself in such a way that you appear a sexual man who knows what he wants and has got it many, many times before.
There have been whole books written about how to achieve this, but I’ll give you a few pointers here. For a start, you must develop strong, unflinching eye contact. If you think about having sex with her while you’re looking at her then even better.
Your posture must be straight, commanding, masculine. You should take up a lot of space. You should be dominant. Your voice should be low and deep. Above all, you must touch her—start with a tap on the shoulder, a brush against the lower arm, and go from there. A man who gets laid a lot—and who is therefore attractive to women—is not afraid to touch. He enjoys it.
All of these things will position you as a masculine man who is sexually-aware and competent. If you do it right, then simply by looking at her and holding eye contact steadfastly, she will know what you really want and that it’s got nothing to do with directions the nearest Starbucks.
Don’t be the guy who collects loads of phone numbers but never gets laid. Far better to be the guy who gets rejected by hundreds of women but ends up with a gorgeous girlfriend at the end of the year. Far better to be honest and open, and to own your sexuality and your intentions with women. From now on, when you interact with girls, really make the effort to ensure that they know you are hitting on them.
It may mean you suffer more blow-outs in the short term, but long-term, you’ll definitely see that it works in your favour.