Contrary to popular belief, men do in fact love commitment. I haven’t really met anyone who is afraid of it to be honest. The problem for women is that men aren’t committed to them. This isn’t a problem with the idea of a committed relationship, or with commitments in general, it’s just simply a problem with the quality of women available in the U.S.
Having long been away from an LTR after ending it due to issues of commonality and commitment, I had grown curious if I really was afraid of commitment. Being single for a while now, and having had a great Saint Patrick’s day weekend downtown, as well as a follow up, albeit pretty crappy, workout session at the gym on Sunday, I realized that men aren’t afraid of commitment, they just avoid them.
Now to be frank, the idea of having as many women as you want and trying multiple flavors will always be something that crosses men’s minds. The fear of commitment however has nothing to do with men being afraid of committing to one woman. If you meet an amazing woman, that’s no problem. The problem is there are no amazing women. This fact can be proven with a few simple things that I am committed to.
This is my main hobby. I love to workout, I love the feeling afterwards, and it’s my opportunity to get away from life’s problems and exert any frustrations I have. My ex tried to get me to stop working out as often so we could hangout. So I stopped dating her. Some may say it’s a douchebag move, but the gym is my hobby, and it’s one that takes dedication. The offer was there for her to join and she refused. The option was pretty obvious. An additional fact is that if I don’t workout or do something active enough I get grumpy.
Commitment number two is, any lifting friend I have ever had. The best, albeit satyrical representation is below. I’d write a long paragraph, but the video pretty much sums it all up.
Some people are equally committed to sports teams the just cheer for on TV, but I’m talking about real sports teams that I’ve committed to. The ones where you’ve worked really hard to play for and made sacrifices for. Jason Kidd has probably the best quote regarding the dedication associated with sports.
A lot of late nights in the gym, a lot of early mornings, especially when your friends are going out, you’re going to the gym, those are the sacrifices that you have to make if you want to be an NBA basketball player.
I have earned a bachelors degree, and trust me it was a commitment. While BA’s aren’t as prestigious as they once were (mostly due to the push for everyone to now have one), they aren’t easy to get either. If you can’t deal with any type of commitment, you will either drop out, or get kicked out due to failure.There is at least a decent amount of commitment involved with the concept of going through four extra years of schooling and amassing an absurd amount of debt to get a college education. Debt problems rank as (1) marriage, (2) children, and (3) education. If you’re willing to deal with that kind of debt, well, you know how to commit.
I could continue listing things that I’ve been committed to, but it would get repetitive in theme. The point is I learned that I, as well as many other men, actually love commitment. The frustrations of letting your team down in sports, losing a lifting friend, failing in your quest for higher education, can all deeply affect you just like a bad breakup, if not more. The key thing is that as men, commitment is assigned towards tasks that have high reward. Men live on a high reward system based on what can give them the most success.
The reason men stop trying for commitment with women isn’t that they are gaining the sex too easily. If the sex is good men will keep going back. The problem is women have progressively lowered the quality available. It’s like comparing a 67 Mustang to a 96 Mustang. The quality is gone but maintenance is higher. When feminism took such a hold on women that they became unreasonable, men stopped having commitment with them. So yes, female reader, I’m capable of commitment, just not to you.
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