I happened to catch Milo Yiannopoulos’s debate with feminist Rebecca Reid at the University of Bristol the other week. About 30 minutes in the topic turned to the “gender pay gap,” with a questioner asking why men still end up doing all the undesirable jobs in society.
After an excellent response by Milo pointing out that, yes, 97% of workplace fatalities affect men, Rebecca Reid gave a curious explanation, slightly paraphrased –
I think its absolutely true, there are a lot of unpleasant jobs that are done by men, and that is not a nice thing for them. I think part of the problem now is, often if you take a job that is very unpleasant, like burning…dead limbs…its because you need money, and usually if you need money, its because you’re perceived to be a breadwinner.
This idea that you’re raised, that you have to provide, you have to earn, you have to be the breadwinner, is really unfair on men. I don’t think I does them any good. If you more broadly suggested that people have to earn, people have to provide, then it would be men who are funneled into these things less.
I thought this answer was so stunningly ignorant, so fundamentally out of touch with reality, that I immediately lit the warning beacons of Gondor, mustered the Rohirrim, and logged on to ROK to write a response.
So I imagine you’re getting a lot of critical emails at the moment. Since I like to try and keep these conversations civil, and I also don’t think people ought to be getting doxxed and losing their job because of an internet argument, I’ll try and refrain from overt name calling.
There’s just one area I’d like to comment on. You said at one point in the debate that men tend to perform riskier jobs simply because society “perceives” them to be the breadwinner. I agree with the sentiment – this is unfair to men, but I also think it isn’t just a social construct. It remains the case as of 2015 that men are rarely valued for their bodies or looks alone, while women posses this advantage as much as ever (if not moreso).
I’m a young man in my 20s. I can only vouch for the fact that no girl has ever approached me or asked me out on a date herself, and it would be extraordinary for one to pay for my meal. Most guys my age I’ve asked are in the same boat. Its simply not an option for me to wait around and expect a member of the opposite sex to come and start showering me with gifts or start paying the bills.
Here’s the thing – being a breadwinner is my only option as a man.
Unlike men, women in our society still have all these entirely separate sources of income and support that have evolved over the centuries, as they are desired for their looks and femininity alone. Yes, a minority of girls (and generally the ones that don’t take care of themselves in the first place) may not be able to take advantage of this, but it is certainly vastly higher than the portion of men.
The real “gender pay gap”
Basically – men don’t undertake more risky jobs for shits and giggles. Its a very rational calculation on our part, as we can’t just sell our bodies (whether indirectly through marriage or more directly through sex or modelling-related industries) to earn a living. Literally trillions of dollars are transferred from men to women each year because of the latter’s control of access to sex.
This is the real “gender pay gap.”
Honestly – I’d be happy to see things change in this area. I’d love a women to ask me out someday and offer to take me to a bar. I’d love the idea of one marrying me, putting me in a house to raise a couple of kids and working her ass off for decades to support me.
Even if one offered to pay me money for sex, I’d at least be flattered, and would probably accept as long as she didn’t seem completely bitchy or hideous – which is probably the same criteria as most voluntary sex workers after all. Forced prostitution is, of course, one of the worst crimes there is.
On an even softer level than prostitution, women can gain considerable value from their femininity without having to touch a single penis. Is it mere coincidence that so many of the people you see manning the front counter of a business are perky, smiling, young girls aged 16-25?
Maybe this is the reason that, when handing out resumes aged 18, I tried handing one in at my local newsagents, only to be refused with the explanation that – “Oh, you shouldn’t bother. They only hire girls here.”
Is it any wonder young women in their twenties now earn around 10% more than young men? Women have always had these advantages, they have always reigned supreme in the home.
So since they now earn direct wages comparable to men, when are we going to start seeing equality not just in the office, but in the bedroom as well? While women now make 45% of society’s direct income, stay-at-home dads still only compose around 3% of such parents, and less than 5% of alimony goes to men. These figures have barely budged in decades.
So what gives? Why it is that women have achieved near parity with men in the workplace, but so few women will support men at home? What about the billions of dollars which should be flowing from hardworking, corporate wives to their docile, homemaker husbands? Why is something like 80% of consumer spending still the domain of women?
Where are all the sugar mamas supporting some cute young piece of male ass? Where are the women on Airbnb willing to provide accommodation in return for a bit of quick cunnilingus? Where are the rich billionaire women willing to tie me up and spank me in a pink room of pain?
Hell, I’ll settle for one lousy drink paid for by a woman. All those who have experienced this, raise your hands?
Sure there are a few examples. You do hear of the occasional lonely, middle aged divorcee jetting off to Jamaica for a week of wild sex with handsome, young,
HIV positive, local men, but these incidents are few and far between compared to the hundreds of billions of dollars that flows the other way worldwide.
So what gives? What are we doing wrong?
Am I not pretty enough?
If women truly desire sex as much as men, and it is only society that has somehow “suppressed” their sex drive, where are all the new brothels opening up to serve them? Where are the cashed-up young women cruising around downtown on a Friday night, looking for scantily clad men standing on street corners?
The only refuge you may have at this point is the excuse of “slut-shaming.” If women are still shamed for their sexuality, it is surely to a lesser extent than any other period in human history. I also don’t think its too hard to hide your liaisons with the speed and efficiency of modern communications. An anonymous ad on Reddit or Craigslist, an account with a hidden photograph on okcupid or plentyoffish – surely these things are not difficult?
In the era of Miley Cyrus’s twerking and Kim Kardashian’s ass, how much of an excuse is “slut-shaming” really?
So what is happening here? I can only conclude that this has a fundamentally biological basis. Male sexual desire is still something like three times greater than women’s on average (we can debate the specific ratio).
Most women today have the options of either supporting themselves with their labor or with their bodies (and now a third option in the welfare state). As a man, I only have my labor, and that is growing increasingly difficult in a workforce where women are being handed every possible advantage, on top of their looks.
Women may be approaching financial parity with men, but since our wildly different levels of sexual desire haven’t changed, the equation remains unbalanced. This is at the root of many of the western world’s growing social problems.
But millions of men are slowly coming to this realization of their own accord. If society won’t play fair, we’re either going to fight against it, or check out entirely. This is the sort of society we’re heading towards. The ancient exchange of marriage is sex for security, be it in the form of wealth or physical protection.
In 2015, women can largely support themselves, and have the police to protect them. Most men come to the negotiating table with very little to offer, no matter how hard they work or work out. Likewise, new technologies are reducing men’s dependence on women for sex. Internet pornography is one thing, but sexbots and VR will be the next big steps.
Hence, the family unit collapses, along with the birth rate. And then our society.
We’re the canary in the coal mine that is third wave feminism, and the rest of the world is calmly watching us suffocate.