There comes a time in the life of even the most hardened player when he meets a girl that he likes and wants to spend time with exclusively. This can be for a variety of reasons. Many men go into game in the first place with the sole purpose of forming a relationship, realising that a life of spinning plates is neither advisable or particularly enjoyable after a brief period. Others enjoy playing the field, but then considerations such as their career or business become pressing, and time spent chasing girls seems a waste.

Others still, for better or worse, meet a girl that they feel meets their requirements in a partner, one of those rare “good girls” they don’t want to let go of. Finally, some get tired of the carousel and decide they want to step off for a while with a girl who is especially hot, or who gives great blowjobs.

Whatever your motive, if you want to make a particular girl your girlfriend you must consider the matter carefully and ensure that you go about it in the right way.

The Counterintuitive Truth About Relationships

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As with many aspects of game, the best method for getting into a relationship with a girl you like is counterintuitive. Many men, following poor advice from magazines, mainstream websites or worse, female friends, imagine that getting a girlfriend involves having “the conversation” — that is, sitting down and “telling her your feelings,” how much you like her and your plans for a happy future together.

Nothing could be less effective.

Here’s the truth — if you want to be with her in an exclusive way, she has to be the one to initiate things, not you.

Making Her Want You Long-Term

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As many men on forums and in the comments sections of websites like ROK point out, women have many options these days, what with Tinder and social networking and so on, and they’re not afraid to take advantage of them. For you to stand out from the crowd and become the kind of guy she feels she’d like to hang on to, you need to demonstrate two attributes—that you are are a scarce resource and that you are a great provider of sex.

Why? Well, scarcity is a no-brainer and relates to game theory that is as old as the hills (or at least as old as Neil Strauss!). If you are too readily available then your value will drop in her eyes, and she’ll be on Tinder chasing the next aloof and mysterious fellow. And as for sex—well, sex really is the glue that binds modern relationships together, at least in the beginning. Remember, girls like to get down and dirty as much as we do. If you’re not giving her a great experience each and every time then she will be inclined to seek out someone else who will.

Maintaining Scarcity

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So how do you remain a scarce resource in her world? It’s really just as simple as not being too available, either in person or digitally. Very simple rules to follow include not messaging her every day, and when you do, ensuring that the length of your texts does not exceed that of hers. Don’t be accessible every night of the week and never drop pre-existing plans to see her just because she’s free.

At all times you should strive to maintain an air of mystery and detachment. Be a man in demand who always has something else to do. When you operate like this it’s amazing how long women will stick around and how obsessed with you they will become.

Sex Comes Before Feelings

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This isn’t a good sex guide so I don’t intend to get into a detailed explanation of how you should service your girl here, but bear in mind that each time you have sex with her you should imagine it’s the last and you must put in a suitably vigorous performance. Don’t be hold back on dirty talk and porn-like moves. Ideally you want her to feel like she’s getting something out of the ordinary from you that she won’t get from those beta-boy orbiters in her smartphone.

Remember: sex comes before feelings in relationships. Don’t make the mistake of thinking tender emotional appeals will sway her. Today’s women (and men) desire increasingly visceral and intense experiences in order to stay interested. Ensure that these are what you are delivering.

The Most Effective Way To Land a Girlfriend?

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Now that you are appraised of the two most important aspects of landing a girlfriend you may be wondering how best to put them into practice. Well, the slightly perverse truth of the matter is that you are most likely to wind up with a regular girl when you are busy sleeping around.

It may sound crazy, but it’s true.

When you are having sex with a variety of women you will naturally display a noncommittal “distance” that is very hard to fake. Also, with sex as with everything else, practice makes perfect. Sleeping with a variety of women will help you pick up different techniques and will hone your skills.

It is only when you demonstrate scarcity and you are great in bed that girls will try to “pin you down” and make you their boyfriend. And a relationship will really only work if she has “shown hand” and pursued you, rather than the other way around. Don’t make the mistake of being the beta chump who expresses his feelings too early. You will only be punished for it down the line.

Consider carefully too whether you actually want to be in a relationship. If you do, is she really the right person? Relationships can be a massive pain in the ass and can significantly affect your freedom and autonomy, so don’t go into one lightly. In fact, if you are below the age of thirty, you are probably better off avoiding them altogether, at least until you have become experienced enough to truly know what you want.

Whatever you do though, bear in mind that—perhaps sadly—in a world where romance has been all but excised by societal shifts and technology, it is the committed player rather than the poetic sap who is most likely to be able to leverage a pleasurable medium to long-term relationship.

Read More: 5 Reasons Why the Skeptics Are Wrong And You Need to Learn Game Now