How I Experienced The Holy Grail Of Workplaces In A Polish Hospital I had to go to Poland to find it

I’m a trainee doctor in the UK who self-prescribes the red pill. I happened to get a travel work placement at a major hospital in Poland earlier this year. That’s the kind of things medics do. They spend their limited holiday time doing more medicine. Because medicine.

For my Polish experience I was expecting some adventures on evenings and weekends, and was therefore planning on doing the bare minimum in the hospital itself, other than perhaps scoffing at how superior the British NHS is to the significantly less well funded Polish equivalent. Little did I know that this hospital experience would actually open my eyes to the criminal underinvestment in manliness in my own health service.

The realm of men

I already had some experience with the country, but had not been back there since popping the red pill. While this new world view has made me better with women, it has also made me more socially analytical, causing me to question things I previously took for granted—like why is everyone so smug and happy that the majority of doctors in the UK will soon be female?

From day one in the Polish hospital, things were different. I was assigned to a surgical team, which in England means being ignored, either by some privately educated Christopher Lee-type surgeon, when he realizes you didn’t go to a school that’s similar to Hogwarts, or by some privately educated Indian surgeon, when he realizes you’re not Indian, from his caste, and privately educated.

Much to my surprise, I was welcomed like a lost son and thrown in at the deep end, getting more surgical experience than ever before and learning more through my broken Polish and generous translators in a couple of weeks than I could have in England in six months. My new powers of analysis, and a beer with a friend, led me to draw the following differences between our two health systems:

Leadership

The United Kingdom

The patient is king. Anything they want, no matter how ludicrous (“chop off my dick, doc!”) is granted them. The doctor can at best aspire to be a skilled diplomatic slave, the court eunuch who relies on persuasion and cocksucking to get his way, to do what is actually best for the patient’s health, while being ever so ever so careful not to offend them or make them feel disempowered.

Poland

The doctor is king. The doctor knows what he is doing. The patient accepts and respects this. A post-op patient complained to my surgeon that she didn’t sleep at night because the patient in the neighboring bed was noisy. This surgeon had saved the complainer’s life the day before. He politely said “I’m sorry.” She complained further. Surgeon’s response: (Looking at me confused) “Is this a hotel or a hospital?” She shut the fuck up and left him a bottle of vodka when she was discharged.

Doctors

The United Kingdom

English doctors, especially the young ones, dress increasingly like rich hipsters (which they mostly are), and metrosexuals (which they also mostly are). The female doctors dress like feminists (which they also mostly are).

Poland

Polish doctors dress like they’re about to do some DIY and then put a white coat on top. They know their trade. They don’t need to dress like pros, because they already are pros. The female doctors under 40 dress sexy and wear skimpier white coats, and then age with dignity.

Female surgeons are few and far between, but those I met made sure to compensate for their masculine job by wearing special lady scrubs that do not exist in the UK and show off their fantastic legs. A feminist exchange student complained and asked to wear trousers like the men. She was appropriately given the status of “swamp monster” by the nurses.

Nurses

The United Kingdom

In the UK, nurses are either fat Africans, or fat Filipinos, or men. Many speak poor English and scare older patients with their alien accents and cultures.

Poland

Boring, homogeneous, backward Poland.

In Poland, nurses are all women (as far as I could see). The young ones are hot and flirt with anything in a white coat. I was wearing a white coat.

Hurting feelings

The United Kingdom

Medical students and doctors are given training in how to be sensitive to gay patients so they don’t get emotional butthurt on top of their physical butthurt. We learn to stop using vile heteronormative language like “husband” and “wife” in interactions with all patients.

Don’t assume that an old lady with a ring on her finger and pictures of her grandkids around her is a normal straight old lady, you heteronormative bigot! Ask about her partner. If she doesn’t understand the question, she’s a bigot.

Poland

Abortion

The United Kingdom

British doctors bend over backwards to refer women of any age for abortions or perform them directly, without asking for a reason, because, y’know, choice. 98% of the annual 200,000 abortions are for “social reasons,” i.e “I’m too selfish not to kill my baby”.

Poland

Polish doctors don’t murder babies to please feminists. In fact they just don’t murder babies at all. Primitive, right?

Interaction between the sexes

The United Kingdom

Women will simultaneously use their bodies to gain power and status in a hospital through their senior male catches and also complain and shout “sex abuse” (not even harassment these days, always “abuse”) at the first useful opportunity. Men live in frustrated fear. Even Nobel Prize winners are lynched without trial for making the tamest jokes.

Poland

Interaction between male doctors and female doctors and nurses is healthy, classy, and flirtatious and everyone is happy.

The bonds between men

The United Kingdom

The relationship between males is one of unhealthy competition. To succeed they will deny their honorable manly nature and behave in bitchy underhand ways, reporting colleagues for minor mistakes and ranking each other as low as possible in peer assessments.

Older doctors and surgeons are nostalgic for the golden days of medicine when things were more like Poland, but they don’t fight to restore this former glory for future generations. Instead they retire early and shirk their duties to posterity.

Poland

Elder Polish doctors understand the importance of male bonding and the passing down of masculinity and skill to the next generation. They take the younger men under their wing like surrogate fathers and endow them with the capability to be successful in their trade.

They also enforce masculinity. When the hot girlfriend of a patient walked past us in the corridor, I looked the other way to be professional. My senior surgeon stopped walking, deliberately turned his head to follow her ass with no shame and then he looked at me: “Are you blind or something?”

Supervision

The United Kingdom

British doctors live in fear of litigation and professional misconduct hearings. They try to do everything by the book and cover their asses incessantly. The effect of this is that any learning or training takes years longer than it should, and precious human resources are wasted on supervision. We are broken men cowering under the weight and terror of the system we have sold ourselves to.

Poland

A wimpy medical student on exchange from Germany came into the OR one day and politely explained as a disclaimer that he could only observe and couldn’t take part in any procedure because he didn’t have the correct Polish insurance. The surgeon looked him up and down and said: “Germans like rules. Poles like action. Suit up.” The German became a Pole. The boy became a man.

Conclusion

Polish doctors are paid considerably less than their British counterparts, but I’d rather not be paid to be a pussy. Polish lessons begin next month.

Read More: The Manipulated Man: A Holy Bible Of Red Pill Wisdom