Why Using A Wingman May Not Be The Best Option For Your Game

Game, which has been defined as the art of “applied charisma,” is by its nature a social act. You can read as many blog posts and books as you like, comment on forums, and bitch with other guys about the sexual marketplace, but real game is played by talking to real girls in real life out in the streets and clubs and bars of the city in which you live.

Because of this inherent social dimension, many guys are keen to go out with other men as they pursue girls. These men are called wings. While using a wing has undeniable benefits in certain situations, if he isn’t carefully selected then the arrangement can be counterproductive and you might even end up losing lays.

Why Use A Wing At All?

Let’s face it, for the newbie and even for the more experienced guy, the idea of going out alone to talk to women can be terrifying. It can also be logistically difficult. In general – at night, at least – women don’t go out alone, but in pairs or small groups. It takes a ballsy man indeed to intercept alone, and even if he does, the problems of extracting his preferred girl are considerable. In the daytime, too, girls are often to be found out shopping with their friends, making a solo approach daunting.

There is also the matter of state, or vibe, or mojo, or whatever you want to call that heightened social competence that makes killing it in the field seem so much easier. If you go out with another guy then chatting with him as you walk around wherever it is you’re looking to pick-up will certainly help get you in the chatty, relaxed mood that is conducive to meeting girls.

But let’s be honest here—the real reason that most men use wings is because of fear. They are simply too afraid to go out alone, particularly at night, let alone walk up to an attractive women and indicate their sexual interest in her.

A wing takes the edge off all of this. It makes the going out itself feel like less of an ordeal and more like a straightforward social occasion, with a few laughs and jokes thrown in along the way.

The Upside Of Using A Wing

As stated, if your wing is proficient in game and even remotely honourable then the benefits of working with him are obvious. He will be there to vibe you with prior to your approaching women and then he will step in to help carry sets, perhaps taking your target’s less attractive friend off your hands for a while, or ideally escalating with his own girl while you are working yours.

He should also help to boost your confidence, picking you up after a rejection. And perhaps most importantly of all, he can help to point out those IOIs (indicators of interest) that you might otherwise have missed while walking around the bar, coffee shop or mall. Many times I’ve benefited when another guy has let me know that a girl I hadn’t even noticed was checking me out. Without his help I might easily have left money on the table.

The Downsides Of Wingmanship

Sadly, though, life is not a movie and things rarely run as smoothly as you might hope. If your chosen wing is a good friend of yours from way back then the relationship is to some extent “set” – if you are the quiet one then it’s going to be very difficult for you to break out of that preconceived role and become an approach machine.

But on the other hand, if you are the confident one and roll into the bar talking to every girl in sight to the exclusion of your friend, then there is a chance he will become resentful and either sabotage sets or disengage from the process entirely.

For these reasons it is sometimes better to find new friends to go out with – wings with whom you have had no prior relationship who you meet up with solely to pull girls. But even then disparities in ability, looks and energy levels can contribute to a fraying of these often delicate alliances.

The Benefits Of Solo Game

The idea of going out alone to talk to women can be pretty scary. However, the inherent problems of wingmanship sometimes mean that there is no other option. Also, consider this – “game” is always played solo. Even when you go out with your most supportive friends, you still have to talk to the woman of your choice on your own, you have to attract her on your own, you have to escalate on your own and you have to lead her to some suitably intimate location on your own.

A wingman might smooth the path, but he can’t cover up for your mistakes nor make you more interesting or charismatic. Those things must come from you alone.

To Wing Or Not To Wing?

Whether to roll with wings or solo is a much-discussed topic on men’s sites, and without doubt there is value in both approaches, provided that in the case of the former your wings are of high quality. I myself have gone out with wings and without and I have been successful in both cases. However, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that going out solo is better.

Why? Well, for a start, I believe it is more efficient. Some of my best lays with some of the cutest girls I’ve ever attracted have been achieved solo. You cut out all of the crap of having to deal with another guy and just go straight for what you want.

In the case of daytime it actually makes more sense to be alone. If you are going to clubs and bars then you have more flexibility. If one venue is rubbish you can then simply leave and go to another. If anyone asks why you are alone then simply say your friends are elsewhere or front up and tell them you are there by yourself. It really doesn’t matter—people are too self-interested to care that much.

The other point is that going out alone and picking up a woman is perhaps one of the most exhilarating things you can do. It will really awaken the hunter-gatherer spirit that lies inert in you.

While I don’t totally discount the value of working with a good wing, particularly when you are new and improving your skills, you should always remember that the best wing you can have, and the one who has your interests most firmly at heart, is you.

If you haven’t tried solo game then I’d encourage you to go out and give it a go. It really is a lot more fun than you might imagine and I suspect you will be surprised by the results.

Read More: 7 Steps to Follow When Your Game Hits a Dry Spell