Of all the ways in which culturally brainwashed beta males are encouraged to meet with women who may deign to glance at them momentarily before opting for the dude with ripped jeans and gleaming pecs, speed dating must surely be among the worst.
Any set-up where men are forced to sit meekly at desks while overly-entitled, overly carb-fed women clump up and down expecting to be entertained and making their dead-eyed acolytes jump accordingly doesn’t sound like my kind of deal.
However, last week I went to my first ever speed-dating event for a magazine article I was writing and I was surprised to find that – despite many drawbacks – it wasn’t all bad. While I would never recommend speed dating as any man’s sole sexual strategy—it has nothing on good, old-fashioned cold approaching—as an occasional supplement to ones main diet it has its advantages.
For one thing, from what I observed, the pool of men that you are competing with for the choicest women would appear to be dismal at best. At the event I attended, an aging punk in a pork pie hat and a friendly but clueless building supervisor in a shiny, ill-fitting suit were my main opponents. Compared to Vegas or Ibiza, this is a walk in the park.
Not that the women were anything to write home about – apparently speed dating is a pastime largely favoured by post-wall divorcees anxious to wield a little power again. But amongst the trash there were a few cute girls who I was able to vibe with and obtain contact details from with relative ease.
The other advantage of speed dating – perhaps its principle one – is that there’s no need to approach. You just sit there and the women come to you. This frees you up to concentrate on verbal sparring, eye contact and light touch, and could actually provide the game newbie with a useful opportunity to practice these.
If you decide that speed dating is for you, or the opportunity comes up for you to try it, here are six handy tips for how best to maximise your chances.
1. Get Physical Immediately
No, don’t touch her breasts. When she comes over stand up, shake her hand firmly then pull her in and kiss her on both cheeks. Doing so will demonstrate that you are a confident guy who is not afraid to touch her. It will also begin to break down the invisible “touch-barrier” that exists between men and women who haven’t yet been introduced, putting you in a good position for later.
2. Maintain Strong, Flirtatious Eye Contact
I’ve written about this in detail before so I won’t labour on the point, but just remember that eye contact is absolutely key, and it can lift a workaday getting-to-know you conversation into the realms of a sexy one-on-one liaison.
Don’t stare at her like a loon – allow your eyes to shift to the side from time to time, or better, gaze around the room every now and then – but do imagine giving her the rough and tumble while you’re looking at her.
3. Talk Loudly
Fuck the people around you – you’re never going to see them again and if you do, so what? They’re sad sacks who go speed dating. Talk loudly and confidently and command the environment. You’ve got five minutes to show her you’re a boss so don’t wimp out – use it.
4. Demand Her Contact Details Before Your Time Is Up
The rules will vary depending on the nature of the event you’re at, but if you’re allowed to swap contact details at the end of your session then simply put your phone on the table, slide it across to her and say “I’ve heard enough. Digits.”
If you are compelled to wait until later then be similarly up-front and unapologetic. Brazenness wins you points, and after all, why not be brazen? These women have put themselves forward to be picked up so you may as well deliver.
5. Don’t Bother With Meta Gags About The Odd Nature Of The Situation
Yes, the situation is weird and artificial and all the rest. But don’t bother to appraise your date of this stunning insight. Rest assured that every other guy she’s spoken to will already have done so. Instead, go for off the wall conversational gambits and flirty teasing with a few well-timed sexualised double-entendres to spice things up. Whatever you do, you must ensure you stand out from the crowd. Fortunately this won’t be difficult.
6. Realise That Even With Minimal Game Knowledge You Are Streets Ahead of Every Other Guy There
It’s true – most men present will be eunuchs, cajoled by society into thinking that kowtowing to blubbery land whales is the best they can expect for their love lives. You, with your reading of ROK and other sources and your interest in game, are streets ahead and will be able to pick off the cream with ease, so be confident.
While I cannot wholeheartedly endorse speed-dating, I now recognise that it has certain advantages – namely available single women, no approach anxiety and lacklustre competition – and can therefore say that it is worth a go for fun on an off-night.
And who knows, if you follow the guidelines I’ve set out here, you may even benefit from a low-investment bang. But remember – there’s no such thing as a free lunch, and no seemingly “easy option” for meeting women is a substitute for learning game.