You know, there was a time—circa 1980 to 2002—when all you had to worry about when approaching women with sloppy, half-baked game was getting laughed at or, at the very worst, getting a drink thrown in your face. I’m here to tell you that them good ol’ days are gone.
We now live in a world where fumbling, bumbling guys who try to approach anything other than 300 pound land whales, 40-year-old spinsters, or women with three kids by five different dudes run a good chance of getting accused of “street harassment,” charged with rape, or as the male model who ran into Sarah McKenzie-Ayres found out, getting their skulls cracked open with a champagne bottle.
Sex, Lies, And Kayaks
Sometimes the real problem starts when you approach, pick up, and then start dating the wrong woman, as the late Vincent Viafore found out a few weeks ago. For those who haven’t been keeping up with the story, on April 19, Vincent Viafore a 46-year old gainfully employed project manager, was kayaking with his 35-year-old fiancée, Angelika Graswald in the Hudson River when Mr. Viafore’s kayak suddenly capsized.
Ms. Graswald stated that she’d done everything she could to save her fiancé (whose body has not yet been recovered), but it didn’t take long for her story to crumble under the weight of several inconsistent statements she made to police. Eventually, she cracked and not only admitted to tampering with her late fiancé’s kayak and deliberately capsizing her own to make it look like she was trying to save him, but also admitted that she “felt happiness and relief” watching him drown.
Of course, she gave the usual reasons women give for committing cold-blooded murder: her fiancé loved rough sex, he wanted threesomes, etc. (but it’s funny how nobody’s killed James Deen or Nacho Vidal yet, so there goes that excuse). Turns out that, as Bruce Willis tried to tell us on the last few Die Hard sequels, it was about the money all along: Graswald was the beneficiary on two life insurance policies belonging to Viafore, and stood to gain $250,000.00 after his death.
Reclaiming What Was Lost: The Art Of Discernment
While the incidents I’ve just recapped are horrific, our focus must go beyond what these women did and why they did it. The question we really need to be asking ourselves is how these two men could have avoided the fates that befell them.
I think the key to that is dusting off a basic cornerstone of game that few people talk about nowadays: the art of objectively and rigorously scrutinizing one’s sexual prospects. Unfortunately, this art has been largely ignored in the current climate of thirsty betas and sexual scavengers.
Desperation will make a man blind to subtle hints as to what kind of woman he’s dealing with, and will even cause him to miss more obvious signs. So how do you work this into your game repertoire?
Let’s start with Sarah McKenzie-Ayres (pictured above). I could be overreaching, but just her demeanor alone (not just her looks, though those are a factor, too) would’ve prompted me to steer clear of her if I saw her at the club. The first thing I wouldn’t have been able to get over is the fact that she looks too much like Mindy-friggin’ Kaling:
The second thing I would’ve noticed is that her energy is just all wrong. Look closely at her eyes, her hands, how she’s standing, everything. She looks miserable. The fact that she’s actually a law student accounts for some of that. But she just looks like someone who was an unhappy, insecure soul even before she entered law school.
Problem is, now that she’s on the cusp of attaining something akin to power and influence for the first time in her life, she’s gone from super-insecure to super-egotistic, overcompensating for her past social, mental, and emotional hangups. I didn’t see anyone go into full detail about how things went down with the recipient of her champagne bottle, but I’m sure it started with him making a half-assed attempt to hit on her.
Little Miss Law Degree wasn’t having any of that (because as an educated, empowered woman, only millionaires should be stepping to her), and probably gave some indication to that effect. Zoolander misses the hint, and keeps going, rolling through his mental Rolodex of canned pickup lines. The next thing he knows, he’s waking up in the ER.
It would behoove novices to pay close attention to solid practitioners of game in the club. Ever notice how they all have that thousand-yard “hunter mode” stare? That’s the “sight beyond sight” stare. They’re walking and looking around, scoping out the scene, spotting who the rape accusers and tire-slashers are, spotting the chick who’s banging the club owner who likely has a loaded .45 stuck in his belt.
Truth be told, you should be more focused on your environment and the people in it than on what you’re going to say anyway, because in the end analysis, correctly assessing the former helps you tailor the latter for maximum effect.
The Cautionary Tale Of Vincent Viafore
We’ve covered how being game savvy can keep you out of trouble in the dating world, but what about the long haul? As posters have said in the past, game never ends, even when you’re married. A key component of LTR-game is knowing about your significant other’s background. Vincent Viafore’s tragic mistake was not looking close enough into his fiancée’s past. If he had done his homework, he would have found out what the New York Times reporters discovered:
Ms. Graswald, a native of Latvia, kept her married name despite divorcing Mr. Graswald’s son in 2009. But online and with Mr. Viafore, she used a different last name, Lipska…
That would’ve been Red Flag Number One. What was Red Flag Number Two?
Mr. Viafore, who held a well-paying job as a project manager, had been supporting [Ms. Graswald] since she quit her job as a bartender.
Red Flag Number Three comes by way of CBS News:
Mike Colvin, a disc jockey in Poughkeepsie whom [Graswald] lived with from November 2008 to June 2010, described Graswald as a person who could walk into a room full of strangers and know everyone’s name by the time she left. But he said she also had authority issues and could make unwise snap decisions when angry. According to Colvin, she had been through two marriages and a string of jobs by her mid-30s, and her impulsiveness apparently contributed to a checkered job history at restaurants and other businesses.
Then, there’s Red Flag Number Four:
The signs were there, and yet Mr. Viafore missed every single one of them. For most students of neomasculine thought, the fact that Griswald couldn’t hold a job would have revealed her as the scatter-brained type of broad you relegate to the role of occasional bang buddy.
The multiple marriages should have definitely been deal-breakers. All of this pointed to a woman who cared about nothing that didn’t revolve around whatever wants and perceived “needs” she had at the moment.
It used to be that a guy would only suffer minor consequences from dumpster diving for bargain bin chicks or stepping to the plate with substandard game. Now, that shit can get you arrested, maimed or killed. A lot of women are running on high-octane hypergamy and entitlement, and if they think you’re using up even one millisecond of time they could be devoting to chasing an Alpha, they will make you pay.
The only guys who can pull off dealing with women like this for any appreciable period of time are the one or two guys who operate on the extreme end of the “Dark Triad” spectrum. But for the other 98% of men in America, the best thing to do is add awareness and discernment to your game toolbox to sniff out and avoid these types of women altogether. You have been warned.
Read More: 7 Basic Life Hacks Men Shouldn’t Ignore