Culture ugly

March 6th, 2013

50

Why So Ugly?

By

Most people in America are pretty damn ugly.  Don’t believe me?  Next time you leave your home, take a good look at the people around you — at the general population.

It actually took me a while to realize this, having lived in the nicer areas of Southern California for most of my adult life.  If you are in a similar environment you may disagree with my first sentence.  But try stepping slightly outside your deliciously tainted fantasy world (e.g., Santa Monica, West Hollywood, Manhattan, South Beach, Arizona State campus, and so forth) and you will see that most people are in fact aesthetically objectionable.

The Undateables — 70%

As I mentioned in one of my previous articles, I recently started taking a Russian language course.  The only convenient option for me was at a community college in a second-tier city within Los Angeles.  If I’m being generous, I would say roughly 1% of the student population consists of individuals you would not shudder introducing as a significant other.  In my actual class, I have to constantly negotiate the room for a seat where my visual and olfactory senses are not offended.

The girl to my left?  Smells like a sweaty foot.  The guy to my right?  Not sure what he ate but he reeks of decayed cheese.  Two rows over?  Rolls upon rolls of fat nestled upon a girl who cackles uncontrollably at everything the teacher says.  Side row, warts.  Back row, a girl that, without exaggeration, I cannot look at because I will start to laugh.  Imagine the Operation guy mated with Waldo and had a daughter.  Then, imagine said daughter exuding androgyny while sporting bright red lipstick and unbeknownst to me… somehow maintaining the constant face of a person who just witnessed a dog speaking Mandarin.

And this is not an aberration.  Really go walk around an average city and see what people look like.  Go to the DMV.  Go to the bus stop.  Check out the buffet on weekends.  Visit the off-strip casinos in Vegas.  Still disagree?

The Average — 20%

These people are not so bad that you are visually offended at their sight. You run into them here and there during your daily activities.  You sometimes think, “she would be cute if…”  They take showers, but have haircuts from the 90s.  They wear suits, but they are two sizes too large.  She has a nice figure, but she has greasy hair and acne.

The Above Average — 9%

The bread and butter of dating culture, desired nightlife attendees, game targets and Whole Foods’ customers.  Initially you may think this number is higher than a single digit percentage.  But such thinking fails to account for the fact that these mediums specifically attract this demographic: those who you want to date, those that do go to the desired clubs and bars, and those health-conscious and/or trendy enough to shop at places like Whole Foods.  They are actively trying to look good.  They watch what they eat.  They wear better clothing.  They spend the extra minute trimming nose hairs (guys) or putting on mascara (girls).

This subsection of society includes the girls guys see and desire on a daily basis.  The girls with the nice flowing hair from shampoo commercials wearing svelte dresses.  It includes the men that trigger girls’ hypergamous nature.  Sure, they are not perfect by any means, nor beautiful — but one must applaud the fact that they at least try to put their best face foot forward.

The Beautiful — 1%

A rare sight.  It stops you in your tracks.  It ascends sexuality and is defined objectively.  I know when I see a remarkably handsome guy.  I definitely know when I see a stunner of a woman.

Try to say otherwise but these people live by different rules and a different reality.  And unless you get an opportunity to temporarily step into their worlds, it is hard to comprehend.  Two illustrative examples that come to mind:

The Crusher:  A few years ago my buddy and I were in Medellin.  If you are familiar with the culture there, the traditional Western nightlife is non-existent as most girls go out with male friends and do not try to mingle with outsiders.  We could not find any place where there were just girls out partying.  Also relevant is that Colombia generally is not a country where guys are not known for their looks.  Having a drink at a high end bar, we notice a guy who undoubtedly just crushes high quality pussy on a regular basis.  6’3, ripped, in a suit, blue eyes, angular face, wavy hair, and so on (no homo of course).  I asked him in my conversational Spanish where he suggests for the night, and he casually mentioned so and so club would be fun.  Well we went, and it was the only place in Medellin where we were surrounded by and consequently partied with very attractive young girls that were NOT with guys.  Thank you, Mr. Crusher.  Access is half the battle, and our assumption that a guy this attractive would know where to find attractive girls was right.

The Model:  Last year I went out on a few dates with an actual runway model.  Never really got anywhere with her because I gave up after what seemed to be low-grade psychosis on her part—changing plans constantly, one demand after another that always seemed to contradict the previous one and so forth.  It was just too much mental accordion play.  However, in my few dates I did see the difference—the aforementioned separate reality.  She was treated like a movie star.  People would comment on her aesthetics stemming from shock, not ulterior motives.  Waiters and waitresses would incessantly follow up, just to make sure no comfort was sacrificed for her.  This is something that absent fame, most of us will never experience.  It was quite eye-opening and looking back, explains her attitude.

So…why so ugly?

First, let’s put aside the 1% on each side.  Hitting the genetic lottery for better or worse (deformities on one hand, and the model/beautiful types on the other) is not something you can control.  Once you accept that, the answer should be obvious.  It’s laziness.  The difference between an undateable and an average, and for that matter an average and an above-average, is lack of effort — not caring or doing enough with respect to your appearance.

Eat well?  Fast food is easier.  Go to the gym?  Nah that’s for vain people.  Dress nice?  My 12-year-old sweatshirt is just fine.  I simplify as there are other factors but the main culprit is laziness.  If a girl is out of shape she’s too lazy to exercise.  When a girl talks about chopping her hair off it’s because long hair “is just so hard to maintain!”  A guy has bad breath because he’s too lazy to floss and brush.

These causes lead to certain effects.  Unhygienic men do not hit trendy bars on a Friday night.  Most girls sporting fat rolls do not have their Iphones blowing up with multiple gentlemen callers trying to connive themselves into their sweaty panties.

If you want to be desirable, all hope is not lost.  These categories are fluid and movement from one to another is common, absent the 1% mentioned above.  I will readily admit I’ve been undateable three separate times in my life, but after I ceased my laziness I escaped and now for good.  There are plenty of articles around on how to improve one’s looks and style, so I won’t comment much on it.  You can basically transform yourself in a day with some hygiene, decent clothes and a stylish haircut.

Finally, this highly scientific statistical breakdown is not meant to apply to every country.  Ever wonder why so many girls love to travel to Argentina? Because the density of “crushers” there is rather high compared to most countries.  Ever wonder why so many men love Ukraine/Russia?  Because the girls there are the antithesis of laziness when it comes to their looks.

But hey, at least I’m not as pessimistic as some famed observationalists:

Read More: Do Girls Flake Because Your Value Is Too Low?



About the Author

is an attorney in Southern California and the litigation partner of his law firm. A traditionalist at heart, he travels often in an attempt to expose himself to as many cultures across the globe as possible. His column runs every Wednesday.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/adrian.forte Adrian Forte

    This is very well cased. The one thing I want to add to it is that, if you finally do start eating right, and hitting the gym… do not stop. Progress comes slow, especially the older you get. Changing habits, losing fat, gaining muscle, all take time. A LOT of time. Don’t quit, don’t fall for fads, just work the god damn fat off. You’ll be amazed at the results, even before you see any outward physical signs.

    Looking good is a matter of will, time, and effort. There’s no great secret to it, just work.

    • Law_Dogger

      Very true and something I think a lot of the general population does not want to accept. We are a society of shortcuts and are always looking for that magic pill, diet or exercise that will make things happen instantly instead of through time. Basically, another variation of laziness.

      For the times I’ve fallen into the undateable/average category, it has taken me a solid year to crawl out with any type of significance and the longer I stick with it the more the results show. It’s hard and I hate it sometimes, but the end justifies the means.

      • http://www.facebook.com/adrian.forte Adrian Forte

        You know, there’s one seldom-missed upside to keeping fit. I go to the gym now 6 days out of 7, and for the first time in my entire life… I sleep like a baby. Solid sleep, and wake up a hell of a lot more ready to face the next day. You just don’t realize how much junk food, laziness, and unspent energy pile up to ruin your sleep pattens.

      • JPStre

        So true. I use to swim competitively and still swim recreationally so I’ve always been in pretty good shape but I recently cut out all processed foods from my diet (I’ve been researching the paleolithic diet) and my energy levels have sky rocketed. The grocery bill is higher but better to pay a little more now then a lot more later!

    • George

      Brilliant, dude.

      Patience is key. For any goal in life.

  • Ari

    Some time ago, I was discussing with some buddies whether Sarah Jessica Parker is ugly. I made the case that she might be below average for a celebrity, she’s pretty for women in general. We were in crowded lower Manhattan at the time. I simply instructed them to point out the first woman they saw who was better looking than SJP. It took a while. Case rested.

    • Dutchie

      [paraphrasing] “SJP is ugly for a celebrity…” with you so far. “…[but] she’s pretty for women in general.” Seriously, how ugly ARE women in America? I mean, fuck.

    • Maigo

      I agree with the principle Ari but not the example, SJP is damned ugly
      nowadays. I did watch LA story again the other night and she was cute in
      her youth but that’s like saying water is wet.

    • tu_ne_cede_malis

      You must have been in the FiDi or Chinatown. Lower Manhattan is crawling with women more beautiful than SJP

  • taterearl

    It is so easy to go from average to above average for a guy.

    Hit the gym, eat lots of good foods, wear slightly better clothes, construct a masculine heart, keep frame control.

    I’d even include taking vitamins and minerals…since most of your foods these days don’t have them anymore.

    • macDamon

      Yes!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Micheal-James/100003510885971 Micheal James

      Not true. A man can improve himself, but if he is short ( “5’5) and below) then he has no chance with attractive women. Only fatties.

      • Pyar Aly

        Tell that to Scott Caan, or Michael J. Fox, or Dustin Hoffman, or many other 5’5 or below dudes who could do better with woman than all of us on this board. Height is only a matter of perception than can manipulated with the right alpha attidude and accomplishments. But it won’t be easy. (And who ever said game was easy?)

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Micheal-James/100003510885971 Micheal James

        Your forgetting that these guys are very famous. Getting famous is very difficult for the average person.I guarantee you that if you walk the streets of las vagas or LA you will never see a 5’4-5’5 guy with a hot chick. All the guys with hot chicks are atleast 5’10.

      • Pyar Aly

        Well for the sake of a healthy convo……..
        (skip to last line for concise response)

        Neil Strauss, one of the pioneers modern game, and one of
        the best PUAs of all time, is only 5’6 and did great in LA. He did it not by being famous, but by working his ass off perfecting his game. Style, in response to the concern that women prefer taller men, said it’s fine what women
        “say,” because attraction is not a choice.

        Lack of height (or wealth) can more than be compensated
        for with Game. (If you would like to sincerely (not just to waste my time) see scientific studies where height perceptioncan be manipulated and compensated for with other status indicators, let me know.)

        Yes the men I mentioned are famous, but I only mentioned
        them because they were people we’d all know. I know tons of guys below 5’8 who do great with women, I’ve experienced success also. Call it confirmation bias,
        but if you walk around with the belief that only tall men get hot women, you’ll ONLY see tall men getting hot women. Imagine what you’d see if you believed otherwise.

        And, here’s the kicker: For Game to win the day: it will take work, more work than the average Joe can muster. As much work as it took Neil Strass to master game, as much work as it took Scott Caan to get ripped and be taken seriously as a swaggering 5’5 tough guy, as much work as it took Dustin Hoffman to become one of the best actors of all time.

        Yes, we can all agree: Success will be a tough a piece of shit.
        Where we may disagree: Will we shit or Will we get off the toilet.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Micheal-James/100003510885971 Micheal James

        You have actual scientific proof where height perception can be manipulated and compensated for with other status indicators. This is what I need. I got to see this. I am a very scientific person. Please link me to source.

  • Brobox

    Yep laziness..and more so a lack of will. It takes years for some to will themselves out of bad habits. Whenever I hear a woman say she does not cook, or if she does cook and says “I hate vegetables” (had a date tell me this), that my friends is a fatty in training. I was in the gym on the elliptical warming up and a woman next to me was on the phone talking about chocolate cakes and sundaes. She really thought her workout was enough to compensate. The pounds can sneak up on you. 10 lbs a year for 5 years will do it. And like the author, I too am in a local community college class right now. The teacher is an old feminist, but not aggressive therefore not attractive yet tolerable. And out of about 10 women there, 2 are above average. 4 are obese for their height. 2 of which are the only black women in the class. The other 4 could improve. One of the 2 above average, is Asian.

  • http://www.AroundtheWorldin80Jobs.com/ Around the World in 80 Jobs

    This was great, perfect with the Seinfeld clip as well. It easier for a guy to move through ranks though, as make up only goes so far. Above average may even be a smaller number in the US with its weight situation

  • henrythin

    This all a little superficial isn’t it? Of course I am ugly myself and much of that is my own fault — I will give you all that, BUT isn’t being a moral person with strong values even more important and takes just as much work and practice as having a killer bod?

    • http://www.facebook.com/john.loo.273 John Loo

      Wow, is it always sunny in fairy tale land?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dan-Moore/843150611 Dan Moore

      “isn’t being a moral person with strong values even more important and
      takes just as much work and practice as having a killer bod?”

      Only if celibacy is part of your morality and values training….

    • taterearl

      No…it takes more work.

    • anon1

      lol. i am sure you are well meaning but its not either/or. fatties and feministas will make you think otherwise, that’s just not true.

  • Jason

    This article hits home, particularly after spending some time in So Cal myself. I grew up in a regional college town. Even here, the discrepancy between the local girls and the college girls is vast. They really look like two different breeds of people (short, fat, and not so great , teeth hair & skin vs. tall, lean, and really good teeth, hair & skin). I really wonder “exactly” how much of this is genetic as well. I definitely believe these middle to upper middle class people have access to better genetics within their mating pools. When these college girls’ parents come to town, I definitely see MILFs. The local moms by age 25-30 are total undateables. Never mind their poor beaten down husbands. When I really started to take a hard look around, the contrast was sobering. I felt barely average in So Cal. Here, I feel pretty decent about myself and try to stay conscious of my appearance. Although, it makes me realize for years I did not maintain properly and wore ill fitting clothes.

  • Freckled

    At least by attending your russian language course you have a regular reminder why you are learning russian. It may help when you are trying to master the russian grammar…

  • rocko

    how can you tell thay guy was ripped while wearing a suit?

    • Law_Dogger

      Chiseled jawline, jacket off with absurdly tight shirt, sleeves rolled up showing defined forearms. That and I have x-ray vision.

  • http://twitter.com/campofthesaints camp

    Don’t doubt the power of good genetics and eugenic breeding. While in the past, the Alphas would have kids with only the hottest women, today, every retard can marry another retard and make kids. We are truly living in the darkest days.

    • Stuki

      IOW, by Heartiste’s definition of alpha: Today, the retards are the alphas. Any wonder the West is going under?

  • Eddie Morra

    You’ll like this if you’re learning Russian. There’s a Russian expression when translated into English goes like this, “there’s no such thing as an ugly woman, just a lazy one”. I think you can apply this to both sexes as well…..

    • notrussian

      actually the expression goes, “there’s no such thing as an ugly woman, just not enough vodka”

  • halfcaste

    not true there are good lookin people with deformaties. like hritik roshan…he has 2 thumbs on his right hand

  • Quintus Curtius

    It’s all about the abandonment of standards in the US. People are fat, ugly, and lazy because they CAN be. And get away with it. If anyone objects, it’s because they are insensitive or mean. Society is being reshaped for the benefit of the dregs. Pretty soon, if you’re not fat and ugly, you will be the target of hate. Read H.G. Wells’s parable “The Country of the Blind”…in a remote society where everyone is born blind, a man with sight who stumbles upon them becomes the focus of envy and hate. He is eventually targeted for mandatory blindness by the authorities.

    • Mr. Mitchell

      Quote by Nietzsche: “difference engenders hatred.”

  • Sombro

    More and more I’m noticing above-average/beautiful women with the social skills of the undateable.
    Is this another form of laziness, bad upbringing or both?

    • Maigo

      It seems that western society simply doesn’t expect young women to have any social skills anymore. Everything is forgivable and everything is put on a plate, especially if they are even remotely attractive, so it’s a skill they never have to develop. In fact that’s part of the reason why most women don’t have any practical skills or virtues, women are lazy and they won’t bother to better themselves if they don’t have to.

  • Hipstersstink

    As soon as I read the first few lines of this post I thought of that scene in Seinfeld. Only to scroll down and see it has been included. Brilliant show.

  • Trouble

    “Most girls sporting fat rolls do not have their Iphones blowing up with multiple gentlemen callers trying to connive themselves into their sweaty panties.”

    You obviously do not know the average man.

  • http://www.facebook.com/john.kathan.1 John Kathan

    America’s acceptance of obesity is what disturbs me so much. No accountability for individual actions anymore. Half of American society has the self-control of an animal. And of course it has become inappropriate to openly criticize someone for this. It is never their fault.

  • DeMathea

    interesting article but to be a bit more optimistic, you can go into the top 1 percent if you really want it that bad, it isn’t entirely genetics

    look at Beckham and Ronaldo before they became famous

  • kurt9

    I notice the same thing whenever I fly domestically. The vast majority of the people in the airports and on planes are unattractive. I see maybe 4 or 5 attractive women on any given flight and have yet to sit next to one – in the 12 years I have been back in the U.S.

  • prep

    Bravo! Excellent points.

    And when the alcohol wears of and the lights come on, whoa mama! You realize you dipped down into the lower 20% — below average. Yikes!

  • http://twitter.com/BronanBarbarian Bronan The Barbarian

    Great article. The descriptions are hilarious.

  • An

    Haha this reminds me of some posts I saw on ‘How come British people are so ugly when Australians (who are mainly of British extract) are hot? Well, good weather=a lifestyle more focused on sports, more open space. So yes, a lot of so-called beauty is very much either strongly influenced by the environment or self-made. Hope for everyone out there!

  • Willis

    I can see why you’re interested in going to Russia now. Thanks to diversity the US is getting uglier and you want to go to Russia b/c they have less of it.
    Everyone is obseessed with blue eyes. Seems like to them it’s one of the standardsfor beauty. This is why mixing is bad. Blue eyes phenotype disappears from the gene pool when that individual breeds with a nonwhite.

    Tis ashame.

    Oh well.

    • jackeyb

      Russian women are beautiful when they’re young but they don’t age so well. Often end up dumpy & their light skin shows their age.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Knuckle-Dragger/100002924524164 Knuckle Dragger

    …see dat!? …dat’s science. I’m goin to the gym.

  • siberianginseng

    Hi, one thing I will say, if you do take care of yourself, it’s actually surprising what you may have lurking underneath you if you’re fat/unhygienic, wear bad clothes, etc. I used to be 230lbs, cut down to 180. I didn’t realize it, but I actually have hit a bit of genetic lottery for looks, and didn’t care at all. I have thick hair, eyebrows that look plucked when I never pluck them, straight teeth, and good strong legs/glutes. Of course at the time when I was 230lbs, I thought I was ugly. So I probably went from 5/10 at 230, to like 8-9 just by losing weight and taking care of myself. So for all the guys (and even girls if they’re reading this site) you might be surprised how you actually look if you’re fat/don’t take care of yourself and start fixing it.

    As far as exercise goes, find something you actually enjoy doing and do it everyday, or as close to everyday as possible. Lifting is pretty sweet, too, it’s quite confidence building being strong.

    Food, make sure like 90% of what you eat is cooked from scratch on your stove. Once in a while have McDonalds or whatever, just don’t make habits of that kinda thing. Before even considering any kind of major diets restricting stuff (carbs, fat, whatever) just make sure everything you eat is cooked from scratch. And no, Whole Foods isn’t required for this. Aldis sells all your staples and fruits and veggies and whatnot. Just you have to actually cook it. I mean if you got the cash for Whole Foods, by all means, This’ll actually SAVE you money, compared to buying a bunch of frozen dinners and crap like that.

    Good luck.

  • Alon

    What can I say. You have some valid points: some basic workouts and grooming can increase the physical attractiveness of many of us, and with that physical attractiveness comes more auto-esteem and self confidence, and this does a lot for a person’s chances with the other sex.

    In fact, the obesity in North America is incredible. I was in Florida for a month a few months ago, and we were driving all over Florida. I remember telling her: “Damn, since I got here like two weeks ago, I swear haven’t seen even one attractive girl.” In the next two weeks or so, the only attractive girls I saw were several tourists in the Dali museum in St. Petersburg, and then of course – Miami is packed with hot Latin and Russian girls. But these are not very American, they even speak with an accent usually. The most attractive girls there are usually “imports”. American girls are ugly. After 2 years in Latin America, 1 of which I spent in Colombia, it was just too easy to see.

    That being said, come on. “The Average — 20%”. How can the AVERAGE be such a small percentage of the population, while the 70% is the “undateable”? First, 53% of the population in the States are MARRIED, and that is of the entire population, including kids. I’d say at least 20% more have a “significant other”, while maybe another 5% “play the field”. So how many are these “undateable” really? Second, if the 70% are at twice as ugly (or half as attractive) as the “average” 20%, then the “above average” and “beautiful” together must be 6.5 times more attractive than the average 20%. Third as attractive, 8 times as attractives. Does that make sense in numbers? Is a beautiful girl 8 times more attractive than the “average” 20%, while an ugly girl a third as attractive as the average?

    Finally, my last remark is – reading your article, as well as the “How To Hire” article, I can’t help but think of you as this guy:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OM9jhGiIAFM
    You have quite a douche-baggy vibe going for you there, and I think you and your Californian superficial rich-boy style are typical of the reason many people around the world don’t like Americans.

  • Shana

    If you don’t like the way American women look, then leave. Don’t bother us, we don’t want or need you. Get the fuck out

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