Beliefs are extremely powerful.
You don’t have to look any further than the existence of placebo effects to recognize this fact.
Placebo treatments that literally offer zero benefits to patients with very real conditions have actually succeeded in curing them. Studies have shown changes in heart rate, blood pressure, and the relief of depressive symptoms – and even some symptoms of Parkinson’s Disease – through placebo treatments.
The only explanation here is that these patients’ bodies have essentially cured themselves all because they believed that they were being given an effective treatment.
And so when it comes to your personal beliefs—and what they say about who you are as a man and how you respond the world around you—it’s absolutely crucial to adopt a set of empowering beliefs that keep you confident, motivated, and happy.
If you ignore this and allow your mind to be crippled by negative beliefs, your life will suffer as a result. Now I’ll present you with what I believe to be five of the most important beliefs men can adopt and internalize.
1. Whatever happened was meant to happen
If there’s one thing that will hold back your growth, confidence, and happiness it’s being a pussy who whines and complains about everything.
Drowning in your own sorrow, or wasting your energy being pissed at someone else, will get you NOWHERE. When something goes wrong—your girl leaves you, you get sick, you get fired—you have to accept reality as it is. Damning it and complaining won’t change shit.
Accept that “whatever happened was meant to happen” and proceed from a place of calmness and strength. This puts you in the best place to remain tranquil and happy – and also to succeed and progress in spite of any shitty situation.
2. I am complete exactly as I am
Far too many men make decisions and take actions from a place of feeling inadequate and incomplete. You must be careful not to fall for this trap.
Yes you can improve and make progress. And yes you should. But you shouldn’t do so out of a need to “fix yourself.” This will only put you in a position of weakness and insecurity and undermine your own confidence, and therefore your chance of success at any endeavor.
Learn game and get better with women not because you need to have women to be happy, but because they can add to your life. Start your own business not because you need to be an entrepreneur to be worthy, but rather because you value the added freedom and independence it will bring you.
Remind yourself “I am complete exactly as I am” when you find yourself drowning in self-deprecating thoughts and beliefs.
3. People are usually acting out of insecurity
The same way that you and I have a tendency to act from position of weakness and feeling incomplete, so does everyone else… And most people are terribly guilty of doing so.
Realize that when someone insults you or berates, they’re probably doing it to compensate for how insecure they feel. When you know that someone’s talking trash behind your back it’s most likely because they envy you and want to bring you down to their level.
Rise above their bullshit and ignore the haters and their insecurity-driven passive aggressiveness.
4. Failure is inevitable and temporary
Failure cannot be avoided.
Most startups fail… Most approaches will be met with rejection… And any new skill that you learn will be marked with countless failures before you succeed.
If you let failure discourage you from moving in the direction that you want to, then you’re doomed to stagnate and never accomplish anything of note. Accept that failure will happen and then use your failures as feedback on your journey forward.
5. Challenges and bullshit are just course-corrections
Similarly to believing that “whatever happened was meant to happen,” you must use the “bad” shit that happens as ammunition to move forward.
If you got dumped, then take it as a sign to work on yourself and improve your health, career, and masculine relationships. If you got fired, then take it as a sign to work on your skills or change careers. If you got sick or injured, then use it as a sign to focus on things like reading, writing, and meditation that you can continue to do.
Your obstacles will lead you to being a stronger and more confident version of yourself, so don’t damn them or ignore them.
Read More: A Manifesto On Masculine Happiness