The above clip is from the movie “Slaughterhouse Five” and to quickly surmise this comical excerpt: the protagonist’s wife goes ape-shit when she finds out her husband’s plane, on way to a convention, crash lands. She frantically gets in her car and ends up killing herself while en route to the hospital. This film is a classic, so if you get the chance I’d recommend seeing it. In the movie the wife is a chubby, and in a few different scenes she insists to her husband that she is going to lose weight but never does. But this is not to diss this woman entirely, because she genuinely loved her man. But as sweet as this woman demonstrated to be, she was simply your garden variety bag of hormones, and became completely unglued in a crisis situation.
Alright, the video is an absurd example, however, in the final analysis I contend that even under the best of circumstances, and with women who have the best of intentions, marriage is a raw deal for men.
Now I have to be honest and say that I have never been married so I cannot speak as an expert on this whereas the opinions of men who are or have been married are more qualified then mine. But I can say I have been in enough long term relationships to know that I would never want to to take that jump. One popular like-minded thinker, Fred Reed weighs in on this topic in his essay “To Marry, Or Not? That’s Easy“. He’s happily married to a Mexicana and lives in Guadalajara so his criticisms about marriage apply in America and the Western World. And as a result of having some years on all of us, he offers good wisdom:
The question is simply, “Why marry?” As a young man full of dangerous steroids, your answer will probably be, “Ah, because her hair is like corn silk under an August moon; her lips are as rubies and her teeth, pearls; and her smile would make a dead man cry.” This amounts to, “I’m horny,” with elaborations. It is as it ought to be. The race continues because maidens are glorious, and striplings both desperate and unwise. (…) Note, incidentally, that by the time October rolls around, corn silk is shriveled and brown (…) soon she will look like a fireplug with cellulite. Once the packaging deteriorates, there had better be something to get you through the next thirty years. Usually there isn’t.
Reed’s remarks represent an already accepted truism. For any of you over age 35 you need only think of some super cutie you knew from high school or college. Can you picture her now? Good. Now go do a search for her on facebook; she’s probably married and if she posted a current photo of herself enjoy staring at the train wreck that some poor bastard got stuck with. I never envy
slaves husbands. In fact the word ‘husband’ is synonymous with that scene from another movie titled “Full Metal Jacket ” where the company was standing around a couple of deceased fellow soldiers, and one guy looks at the dead and says “Better you than me!” You really have to be willing to commit the suicide sacrifice. The decision to marry has to be well thought out, and you must be prepared for what awaits you. Maybe it might be worth it, but most likely it will not be.
The problem for marriage goes beyond seeing your wife turn into a 400 lb. gastropod. Reed goes on:
Women are more eager than men to enter marriage, and more eager to leave it — with the kids, the house, and the child support. It won’t be amicable, not after seven years. You will be astonished at how ruthless she will be, how well she knows the law, and how utterly hostile to divorcing fathers the law is. (…..) You don’t understand how bad the divorce courts are. You probably don’t know what “imputed income” is. You think that “joint custody” means “joint custody.” Think again. Quite possibly you will have to support her while she moves with your kids to Fukuoka with an Air Force colonel she met in a meat bar. (…) In short, marriage often means turning twenty-five years of your life into smoking wreckage. Yes, happy marriages exist (I personally know of one) and there are the somnolent marriages of habitual contentment or, perhaps, of quiet resignation. But the odds aren’t good.
I would replace “you will have to support her while she moves with your kids to Fukuoka with an Air Force colonel she met in a meat bar” with: “you will have to support her while she and her new boyfriend, a coke dealing piece-of-shit ex-con live it up in your house” which is more accurate to the current zeitgeist.
Perhaps I am being too negative, but to me it seems to be obvious that there is nothing that will drain a man quicker of his finances, emotion, and life force then playing the role of human D-Cell battery to a female. It is your right to ask “What do I get out of all of this?”, and please do ask yourself this question and weigh all the pros and all the cons. It is also wise to realize that people, times and circumstances can and do change. It’s the human condition. And like many of us who have our eyes open we have seen waay too many unions fail to never question that marriage is extremely high risk.
The Wikipedia article about Reed describes his writings as “…articles speak of a yearning for a simpler time when America was a free country and urge the reader to forgo the pursuit of money and comforts in favor of a cultured life of the mind” which in my opinion, is what we as men should be shooting for as a replacement for marriage. No doubt it is easier said then done. As much as we desire a good woman by our side, that is becoming more difficult with each passing day when one sees what is happening to women world wide not just through culture, but through contemporary mainstream technologies as well.
For female companionship, do so in a very superficial way. Take care with your interactions with women. For starters, pay close attention at the laws where you live. In most places in the USA co-habitation with a woman is considered De facto marriage. When you guys break up (“when” not “if”—it ain’t going to last forever), all the financial ass raping sentences that would apply for the guy who did it legal will apply to you should you and her share the same address. And literally it could easily mean just your and her name on the same mailbox even though the two of you never actually lived under same roof.
Short term relations work best. When to leave is easy: as soon as she brings up the notion of either marriage or moving in together then it’s time to bail. If you do not, then the sound byte along the lines of “This relationship is not progressing” BS will slowly repeat and repeat and start getting worse and worse, like Chinese water torture. As difficult as it may be for some, a man is still better off alone then to be stuck with a nagging shrew or with financial alimony / palimony servitude.
As far as marriage is concerned the USA is an empty shell of was once a great country, whose women are beyond repair. What’s that popular joke about marriage that I heard? Oh yes: instead of getting married you could simply find some fat bitch you hate and buy her a house because that, at the end of the day, is what you will end up with.
I also understand too that for many of the readers here on this forum an article such as this is simply beating a dead horse in the ground, but as long as there are men marching off to the gallows of matrimony, we need to continue to repeat the painfully obvious.
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