Every guy wants to meet their definition of success with women, whether that be sleeping with a ton of girls, finding a high-quality girlfriend, or just feeling like and overall BOSS around the opposite sex.
But all too often, guys don’t reach their definition of success. Why? One of the biggest reasons has to do with their limiting beliefs about women.
Here’s the tough part, though—most times, guys don’t even recognize these limiting beliefs. They float under the surface, and become underlying assumptions that affect the majority of their interactions.
Limiting beliefs like:
- “She won’t sleep with me on the first date or same night.”
- “She’s not the type of girl to just give out her number.”
- “She probably has a boyfriend, she won’t be interested.”
- “She’s too innocent. She wouldn’t want to grab a drink with a random guy at a bar.”
The list goes on and on. They’re harmful, because they prevent guys from taking action and pushing the interaction further.Most of these limiting beliefs can be narrowed down to one thing:
“She’s not ‘that type’ of girl.”
If you’ve ever caught yourself in the midst of a limiting thought, you might know what I’m talking about. You realize that you’ve created a story about the girl in your head based on lofty assumptions, and you’re allowing this “story” to direct the interaction.
But here’s the thing: odds are, she probably IS “that type” of girl. If you do the right things and exude the qualities of an attractive man, there’s no reason why she won’t give you her phone number, sleep with you the first night, grab a drink with you, or go home with you.
However, if you’re stuck believing that she’s not “that type” of girl, you probably won’t even go for it. So, let’s crush those limiting beliefs with sound logic, so you can start pushing interactions, and reach your definition of success with women. Here are five reasons why she probably is that type of girl:
1. She’s probably had a one-night stand
A study by The Daily Mail found that nearly half of all women in their 20s have had a one-night stand, and the figure for those in their 30s and 40s was nearly as high. Furthering this point, a study by MissTravel.com of over 30,000 women showed that over 40% of women admitted to having a one-night stand on vacation (and think of how short those 1-2 week vacations usually last).
So, no matter how innocent she might seem, there’s at least a 50/50 shot she’s slept with a guy the first night of meeting him…and honestly, since these are self-report surveys, it’s probably even a bit higher than that.
And even if she hasn’t had a one-night stand yet, that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s opposed to the idea—she just hasn’t met a dude with the boldness to go for it and the social intelligence to not screw it up.
2. She likes sex as much as (or more than) you
Women enjoy sex, watch porn, and have a high sex drive. The idea that men crave sex more than women is a myth.
In a study of over 1500 women, 88.4% said they are easily sexually aroused, nearly 75% said they like to have sex once a day, over 80% said they enjoy masturbating to orgasm, and over 90% don’t feel guilty about it afterward.
Add to that the recent popularity of 50 Shades of Grey, and it’s clear—women enjoy sex (and think about it) A LOT.
And there’s nothing wrong with that. Sex is awesome. You enjoy it, and even if you convince yourself she “seems too innocent,” she definitely enjoys it just as much.
3. She just got out of a relationship (or she’s not looking for one)
While this doesn’t include all women, there is a chance she’s on the rebound, or she’s just not looking for a relationship in the first place. She’s in the “have fun and be free” phase of her life, and is very open to meeting a cool new guy if he comes along.
There are many women like this, especially in their 20s, especially very intelligent women who are focused on their careers. Some of the most promiscuous women I’ve met are Ivy League students and those in high-paying and demanding jobs.
You might think these types of women would not be “that type” of girl, but you’d be sorely mistaken. These types of women feel like they don’t have the time to commit to an exclusive relationship, but they do need that “release” and to have a little fun. You just need to step up and bring them into your awesome night.
4. She wants to prove to herself that she’s worthy of men
At some point in your process of “getting good” with women, you’ll probably get quite a bit of validation from sleeping around (maybe you’re in this stage now, and that’s okay). I know for me, this lasted for a few years in my early twenties. Sleeping with women gave me a sense of false wholeness, like “Okay, I can do this. Now, I’m a man. Now I’m cool.”
Eventually, you get past that point and realize that external validation is fleeting and unfulfilling, and internal validation is key (accepting and loving yourself). But it lurks its ugly head once in awhile, even if you feel like you’re “past it”—it’s a part of human nature.
Women experience the same need for validation from men, especially those on the more insecure end of the spectrum.
5. Because you assume it
This one is more based on what you do than anything she does. Instead of assuming she’s “not that type of girl” when asking for her phone number, trying to bring her home, etc., assume the opposite. Assume she is exactly the type of girl to do that, and she’s just waiting on (and hoping for) you to make the move.
There’s some truth to the idea that “what you focus on expands.” You’ll have a much better chance at reaching success with women when you assume the best, instead of vice versa.
Read More: 8 Signs You Should Break Up With A Girl