Why You Should Quit Playing Fantasy Sports

Donovan Sharpe recently wrote a great article about why it’s time to stop hating professional athletes. I have felt the same way for quite a while now, and was thrilled to see the article show up on ROK. I smiled as I finished reading, proudly complimenting myself on never being one of the individuals who projected his envy onto pro athletes.

But then something hit me: as a man who used to dedicate a massive amount of time to fantasy sports (particularly fantasy football), I was no better than the people who spend their days vilifying athletes to combat their own shortcomings.

Fantasy can take over your life

I started playing fantasy football in college and was hooked right away. At first I only played in one league, but soon joined a second, then a third, etc. Before I knew it I was doing seven or eight leagues a year; the entire fall season was centered on my fantasy teams.

I would spend my entire week reading a million articles on who to start, complaining about performances from the previous week, and when Sunday finally came I’d be flipping between every single game and screaming every time a second-string running back got the ball instead of “my” starter. Can you think of anything more pathetic than a grown man screaming at a television because “his player” isn’t the one scoring a touchdown or catching a long pass?

Playing fantasy sports are a complete waste of your time. If you’re a typical fantasy football “player” than you’re probably spending 10-20 hours a week staring at your lineup, reading articles and watching videos, pregame shows and Fantasy Football Live (and none of this includes the entire day you spend watching football games you wouldn’t normally give a shit about).

Think of what you could accomplish with an extra 20 hours a week; you could learn a language, polish off one or two novels, or start working out more and improving your body.

Fantasy sports are a crutch; the same way some people cover their bodies with tattoos in order to have a sense of accomplishment without actually having to do anything, fantasy sports are an escape for men who want to feel like they’ve accomplished something with their lives.

I have seen men spend the entire year openly bragging about the fantasy sports title they won. The way these guys talk would make your head explode: “I managed my team very well this year. That trade I pulled off in week eight was the key to my title victory.”  “As a Dez Bryant owner I’m concerned that Dallas fired their offensive coordinator.”

Will you fucking listen to yourselves? If you put this much care and effort into your professional life you could very well be running your own business instead of sitting in an office fifty hours a week, being miserable and having to listen to the fat, ugly broads in the cubicle next to you squawk about how many “likes” their cat’s Facebook page received while they pound donuts and slurp frappuccino’s. Believe me, I know all this from experience.

The case for quitting

Another benefit to quitting fantasy sports is you’ll find yourself spending far less time on ESPN, Grantland, SI and all the other social justice blogs masquerading as sports websites. Visit any of these sites on any given day and you’re more likely to find articles on feminism, gun control, and domestic violence than actual sports.

If you want sports insight, talk with some like-minded friends; if you want podcasts with Lena Dunham and rants against masculinity, then these sites are for you.

The manosphere gets bashed as being sexist, hateful, etc. but we all know the truth: it is about self-improvement and being the best man you can be. Discovery is the first step, but theory without practice is useless. Well, here’s a great step towards bettering yourself: quit playing fantasy sports.

Don’t wean off of it, don’t “just do one league” this year and don’t give into any pressure you receive to play, just quit cold turkey. When you get that email to join your leagues hit the decline button. When your friends ask you why you’re not playing tell them you have better things to do with your time. Be specific: “I’m no longer wasting my time with fantasy sports.” They don’t like it?  Fuck ‘em, get some new friends.

Stop trying to fit in with today’s herd of bitch-made men. When they give you a hard time you need to understand that they are lashing out at you because you’re bettering yourself, and that scares other people. It forces them to confront their own shortcomings and most people can’t handle that.

There are 168 hours in a week. Most people spend 100 of them sleeping or working (including commute). Throw in the intangibles (traffic, housework, grocery shopping, etc) and you probably lose another 10 hours a week.

The point is we only have so much time in a week to actually do something that matters. Don’t waste your time living vicariously through professional athletes and stop pretending that winning a fantasy game is an accomplishment. Quit now and thank me later.

Read More: Stop Watching Sports