Today is my 30th birthday. Rather than feel morbid and depressed on this day as many in our culture do, I’m celebrating the gift of life, reflecting on times gone by, evaluating what I have learned, achieved and experienced, and spending my time with loved ones.
In reminiscing I had an idea for this article. I want to share with the younger guys reading the five things I have learned by age 30 I wish I had learned a hell of a lot sooner. Let’s cut the foreplay and dive right in.
1. Time goes by quicker than you can ever imagine
If there’s one thing I would do differently with my life up to this point, I would be more careful about how I chose to spend my time. Time is literally the single most precious commodity on earth, a non-renewable resource which once spent can never be regained.
I gave far too much time to people who didn’t deserve it and in situations I shouldn’t have been in during my late teens and early twenties. It was only when I decided that my time was valuable and when I started to be more careful how I spent it, or rather when I started to look at it as investing it, that my life started to change for the better.
Learn early on to respect your time. If you don’t, others won’t either. Before you know it you will be getting older and your time to do great things when you’re young and free and lay the foundations for a successful life will be up.
I found it helpful to develop what’s known as a deathbed mentality. This is not some morbid fixation on your inevitable demise, but rather looking deeply into the abyss and coming to terms with the fact that you are walking wormfood.
What this does is scare the shit out of you and causes you to realize that the hour you are going to spend watching Simon Cowell judge the singing ability of people who you will never meet and wouldn’t bat an eyelid if you died of rectal cancer would be better spent watching the sunset, sipping a nice bottle of red wine with someone you care for, working toward a legacy project that will outlive you, or doing something that helps other human beings and gets you paid.
2. Money matters, a lot!
A lot of people say money can’t buy happiness, and I agree.
However, money matters a hell of a lot and it is basically the key to everything in this world. It can buy you the best healthcare, allow you to travel to the best places, give you access to the best people in their respective fields, and most importantly give you some power and control over your own destiny.
Money is the difference between a free man and a slave. Money is the thing which gives you choices and opens doors to new experiences and thus richer learning. Money has God-like power on this earth, like the fact or hate it.
Focus your energy when you’re young on getting as much money as you can, and the rest will follow.
Too many people wake up at thirty with nothing to show for the “blast” that was their twenties and then end up playing catch-up all through their thirties and forties.
If they ever do manage to get out of the toxic wasteland of consumer debt they racked up while partying like tomorrow would never come, they will be the lucky minority. A lot of people spend the rest of their lives paying for the mistakes they made before the age of thirty. Don’t be one of them.
As many a wise hip hop artist has said, “Get money money, get money money moonneeeyyy!”
3. Physical strength is the key to the confidence you desire
A lot of guys under thirty suffer from serious confidence problems.
You’re too young to be a true expert at something and aren’t really sure of what you’re capable of in the various areas of your life. Other, more experienced men with some successes behind them can beat you at most things, and so you aren’t really sure where you stand in the great hierarchy of life.
What you lack, and therefore what you need, is confidence. The one thing that will give you an insane confidence boost that will transfer into other areas of your life is being a physical beast.
Physical strength and the ability to handle yourself in an altercation will cause you to carry yourself in a very different way than most men in the world, and therefore put you at a huge advantage over them.
This confidence transfers into how you carry yourself in all areas. People at work will notice when you become more assertive and sure. Women will notice when you walk into a bar with your head held high and look people in the eye rather than looking at your feet like a beta-boy.
Other men will know just by looking at the lean, shredded muscle causing your t-shirt to stretch at the seams that you might not be the kind of guy they want to test. People will move out of your way as you walk along the street, and you will experience what Arnold called “the respect of size.”
A strong body leads to a strong mind and mental frame. You can’t have one without the other. They enhance each other and lead to a positive feedback loop If you want confidence, build your body and your strength. The rest will follow.
4. Chasing women is a waste of time. Focus your attention elsewhere.
Let me say at the outset that I’m not a misogynist. I have no problem with decent, respectful women.
However, I often wish the Prada-wearing whinebags at home would come down here to Asia where I live and spend a few weeks and see what real women’s issues are like. A man spreading his legs on a subway to air condition his nut sack after a day’s work is not an issue. Being beaten by several males in your family, being denied a basic education, and having a high possibility of being sold into sex slavery unless you get a decent education are real issues to be concerned about.
That being said, it is obvious to any man of experience that the majority of women on offer these days in western countries suck and they will eat up your time, money, and energy and leave you with nothing to show for it.
This is the inevitable result of an entitlement mentality that pervades our generation and has particularly affected women, causing them to believe that they are entitled to behave as they please just because they have a vagina, all the while claiming they are independent and liberated, never realizing that rights come with responsibilities or that to get the respect you desire you have to actually behave in ways that are worthy of it.
As a young man under thirty, the other sex is likely relatively new and mysterious to you. You haven’t been laid a hell of a lot yet and you have most probably been subjected to a relentless campaign of brainwashing since birth, telling you that women are they key to happiness. You are Prince Charming, and you need to find Snow White to achieve happiness, so they tell you.
What you will learn, and I wish I had learned sooner, is that this is utter bullshit.
There are good women out there in the world who actually want to be an alpha provider’s wife and build a family, but you won’t have access to them until you become the kind of man they are looking for. You can pretty much rule that out until you hit your late twenties to early thirties and get out of the cock-carousel scene that is bars and nightclubs.
You will also have a greater chance of finding a decent, traditional woman outside the west where traditional values such as family, gender roles, and chastity still mean something.
What is required is that you become successful, you become a man of integrity and worth, then you become powerful. You will then have your pick of women who desire you, rather than the other way around. Remember, you are the king of your own domain, and the king does not chase common street urchins, he selects from the most virtuous women in his kingdom.
Be the best man you can be, focus on your career, your strength and your own developing your mind, and wait until you reach thirty or so before you even think about getting into a serious relationship with any female. When you do, go in with your eyes open and take all necessary measures to protect yourself.
Side Note: If every man implemented the above mindset, the “war of the sexes” would be over in exactly one generation. The power would be back squarely in the hands of men, where it belongs.
5. People aren’t nice. They are selfish and almost entirely focused on what will benefit them.
The sooner you realize this hard truth, the better – people are selfish.
In my experience, people will always do what is right for them and their own survival, and this is right according to the laws of nature. They should do, and so should you.
I for one spent a lot of my late teens and early twenties trying to be a good, decent human being and thinking this strategy would get me ahead in life. Needless to say, it did not. I was used like a doormat by a series of satan-spawned, psychotic cum guzzlers and basically robbed blind (I had not yet developed the red pill mindset). I also earned the equivalent of Scooby snacks. We’ve all been there.
Do you know what happened when I became a little bit of a dick? When I started saying “no,” ruthlessly nexting neurotic, game playing women, and started seeing work as something to benefit me and me alone rather than being a good, loyal little slave boy?
Shit changed fast! I got 15x the income, women started grabbing at me as I walked past in the street, I actually found a high value woman of the caliber I desired who had values I respected and who was suitable for providing me with a child. To top it off, she didn’t have a problem making me a home-cooked steak sandwich when I came home from a ball-busting day at work. She appreciates my efforts on behalf of our family, and shows her appreciation in her own way.
Sure, I pissed a lot of people off and lost a few friends, but it was worth it. I became the kind of man I wanted to be. I became assertive, dominant and a little more selfish. As a result, I finally got everything I wanted from my life.
Before you start waxing lyrical about Mother Teresa types and the unselfish saints of the world, remember this: Mother T did what she did because she wanted to go to heaven. It was still a form of selfishness, but it was a positive form of selfishness which helped other people too. That’s exactly what I’m advocating here.
Do not bend over backwards to please people. Please yourself, and ironically people will love and respect you more for it.
I close by asking you a question. What do you wish you had learned earlier? What advice would you older men reading give the young guys coming up? What do guys who have even more life experience, in their forties, fifties and beyond have to say?