We’ve all been there—one of the womenfolk is seriously mad at you for no good reason. Maybe you didn’t take out the trash when she asked you to, maybe you forgot to arrange the coffee cups in a specific order or failed to read her mind—again. Whatever the reason is, rest assured that it’s going to be trivial, completely random, and make her blow up like an overweight nuclear bomb.

She is right in your face, the spittle is flying everywhere, her fat rolls are quaking with the anger of thousand SJWs and her second chin seems to have developed a will of its own and wants to bitch slap you on the spot. Logic doesn’t work. Trying to justify yourself is pointless. You are dealing with an overly emotional female and by God you are going to pay for your sins. Welcome to your worst nightmare.

Better dead than fearful

At moments like these is when you have brief flashes of lucidity and realize why Leonidas and his soldiers willingly died at the Hot Gates—they didn’t want to endure yet another day of their wives’ bitching.

"Tonight we dine in hell!" "So, your wife is cooking again?"

“Tonight we dine in hell!” “So, your wife is cooking again?”

If heroic death in combat is not an option, then you will have to find an alternative. If you were to take sitcoms such as Everybody loves Raymond seriously, it would seem the best option is to simply endure in silence and whine to your best friend about how your woman “like completely changed.”

However, not all is lost. Forget about being an emotional whipping boy for women. It’s time to take control of your own life and stop taking the verbal abuse. Return of Kings is about to teach you the three simple techniques of dealing with overly emotional females, which are:

1. Dismiss her complaints

This is how naive men deal with emotional women. She is factually wrong and you are going to prove it to her. Sounds like a great plan, right? You will quickly learn that women are inferior to men in every aspect, which also includes reason.

However, you will find out that women are incredibly skilled at changing the subject and moving the goalposts without you even noticing. If all else fails, they can simply turn on the waterworks and start whimpering. It doesn’t matter if you’re right – look at what you’ve done, you bastard!

water faucet

Sympathy generator [ON]

If you happen to be in public and start to argue with your woman, the sight of a crying female is sure to attract white knights eager to defend her, just like a hot girl in water attracts rapist dolphins.

In a politically correct hellhole such as US, this kind of scene can land in you some serious trouble. It doesn’t matter what happened, the girl is crying and you shall pay for it. If you do decide to argue with a woman, be succinct, don’t lose your temper, don’t raise your voice and absolutely do not allow her to change the subject.

2. Ignore her

Women cycle through moods with a much greater frequency and amplitude than men due to their hormonal surges. Whatever the triggering issue seems to be, the underlying cause is always in her. In her ovaries, to be exact.

Women experience this emotional rollercoaster on a regular basis up until their mid 40s, at which point they enter menopause and become batshit crazy. Though you can try to pamper the she-beast and alleviate the symptoms, there is nothing you can do to fix the underlying cause of the problem.

cycle

The monthly cycle of happiness and suffering

You don’t have to deal with a woman in such a mood. In fact, she’s supposed to have a network of female friends that truly understand her problems and can empathize with her. If she doesn’t, it’s her own fault, not yours. If she tries to vent her inner frustrations and penis envy on you, simply don’t pay attention to her.

Since women crave male attention and validation, you are showing her that she isn’t worthy of your attention when she’s behaving like a harpy. This means leaving the woman to tend to her own needs and acknowledging her only when she’s calmed down and rational.

3. Walk away

If your bullshit tolerance is extremely low, you can just go do your own thing. This is an incredibly powerful method of showing the woman that unstable behavior won’t be tolerated. In all relationships, you should always give the appearance of being able to walk away at any given moment. If she persistently tests your patience, just walk away and don’t look back. You’ll thank me later.

walk away

Solitude is better than the company of insufferable women

Of course, the problem is compounded with how marriage and divorce is handled in today’s society. More and more men are deciding that they simply won’t tolerate this kind of bullshit and either won’t marry or even live with a woman in a single building. This is supposed to help them avoid divorce, but the problem is that the government doesn’t want to deal with women either and is always looking for a sucker who is going to support the lifestyle a woman is used to.

It’s a (marriage) trap!

For example, in certain countries such as Canada and Australia, after a certain period of time has passed in a romantic relationship (the exact definition of which is up to the judge to decide), you are considered married to a woman. And that’s it, she has the right to half or more of all your shit even though there is no official marriage.

It doesn’t matter what you think about it, these laws are made to artificially prop up the plummeting marriage rate. You just happened to be born with a dick and thus have to suffer. Unless you live in a radical Muslim country, where women dress like ninjas, you absolutely cannot walk away from a marriage without losing everything you worked so hard to achieve. On top of that, you will probably lose your kids as well, since 85% of all custodial parents in the US are women.

Once you’re invested in the relationship, it’s hard to muster the willpower to leave. This is understandable, but always remember that life isn’t meant to be a sandwich with two slices of bread and a piece of shit in between.

By using your wits and two hands, you can live a life far beyond anything any women can dream of achieving. Expect only the best from people around you and give only the best to those who have earned it.

Read more: More Ways You Can Live Life Like A Villain