Your living or logistical arrangements with your girlfriend will vary. But these five things are not for negotiation. If she’s not living them out, mostly unconsciously, why are you even putting your spicy dick sauce in her oven?

If you’ve been dating a girl for more than three months and she hasn’t started doing these five things, you’re pissing on an electrical fire. If it’s been six months and she’s not doing all of these things when the opportunity arises, you’re an obsequious, undead eunuch who should never breed.

1. She feels guilty about owing you something

Maybe you spotted her a hundred bucks because her roommate bailed and the lease was in her name. Her appreciation at the time was vociferous, even if she couldn’t pay you back yet. The down payment she made was an extra five blowjobs that week.

When she paid you back, it was either $100 and date tickets to the game, or $150 and a striptease in new lingerie that she bought. Then she presented her ass for you again.

Guilt shows that she feels compelled to make it up to you. She doesn’t take value without returning it in even greater amounts. And for the act of borrowing from you, monetarily or otherwise, she begs to give back more than you gave initially.

And if you helped her in an emergency or otherwise urgent situation, she reciprocates the favor five-fold. Ten, if it’s the second time in half a year.

2. She anticipates and supports your deadlines and commitments

You have a final exam or big job interview. Without asking, she fixes your breakfast that morning, polishes your shoes, or rearranges the living room so you can study in peace.

A close relative dies? She cancels her conflicting appointments, shoos away any pestering friends and makes sure that it’s 100% about you and whoever else is affected.

She doesn’t need to be asked to do something to help you; she thinks ahead, organizes it and then throws in bonus serendipitous acts for good measure. Should you be unable to count five clear, powerful examples of this automatic sacrificing every two months, you’re wasting your time with her.

3. She lashes out at a rude comment or gesture towards you

Normally placid and sweet, she gets feisty for you in the right circumstances, before she realizes what she’s doing.

She’s not fighting your battles for you, far from it. But she’ll back you up because you’re valuable invaluable to her. Her creepy, half-drunk uncle gives you the stare at a family dinner? She starts an argument if he doesn’t stop.

Her parents, especially the conservative type, don’t approve of you or something you did? She risks tears, cursing at daddy for the first time or swearing off family for a month in order to take your side.

She should be doing this. After all, she’s left the dirty, atavistic old country for the pleasures and prosperity of the New World.

4. She apologizes profusely for her outbursts

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It may not be “big” in the grand scheme of things. But she fucked up and she sure as hell better make up for it. And that’s what she tells herself. No nudging from you is necessary.

If the incident was in front of other people, she apologizes to you a second or third time, in front of them. She puts herself on the line because she has standards.

Over the coming weeks, depending on the severity of the mishap, she makes conscious attempts to positively overindulge in her normal, supportive behavior. She always goes the extra mile for her man after she loses the plot.

If her initial apology included a justification about hormones or something akin to them, she backtracks, and makes the apology ten times more effusive.

5. She does things for you for no reason

She doesn’t need Hallmark, Santa Claus, or the anniversary of your expulsion from the womb to remind her to lavish you with something.

Common sense dictates that normality can’t always be like a birthday, but she makes every reasonable (and unreasonable) effort to make your day seamless, happy, supported and free of her shit. You get more gifts from her than you give to her. Moreover, she loves surprising you with something she’s gotten you. She relishes it.

She consciously rebels against the propaganda that a woman is entitled to everything from her boyfriend. When Kaley Cuoco at first said she wasn’t a feminist, your girlfriend insisted she isn’t either. But, unlike Kaley, she didn’t contradict herself later.

Earning her keep isn’t a phrase she hears in a sitcom about a foster child who’s adopted by a rich family. She lives the mantra and whenever she doesn’t, she kicks herself into gear and gets back into your program and paradigm.

Conclusion

What you settle for twice a week for six months is what you’ll accept for the next twenty years, regardless of whether new girls come along. So grow some balls and pull the plug when the microwave isn’t cooking your oatmeal.

Everything you read on ROK or on any other website or in any other book is utterly worthless if you don’t follow the golden rule: make her treat you better than she expects you to treat her.

Read More: If Your Girlfriend Insists On A Big Wedding, Dump Her